i am a born muslim as is my Dh we choose not to have much to do with any Muslim “community” the reality over here is the community consists of people who have family ties/cultural or geographic from the villages back home. We are British born so don’t really have much to do with certain cultural mindsets, close knit village mentalities and you’ll find most established communities are like this and people who join the faith or are born into it but their lives don’t revolve around the community, dip in and dip out to mosque when they want, if at all the mosque has zero authority over people. Of course you will get people trying to take converts under their wing but if the convert knows their mind and has confidence they can just say no thanks.
If a person wants to have a religious ceremony you can go to any imam anywhere, doesn’t have to be your local mosque etc. My Dh hasn’t been to mosque for a while but when he has gone he does his prayers and that’s it, greets the congregation and he’s off. As op’s Dh is looking at Islam as a personal thing and not to be part of a community I don’t see why he needs to answer to any randoms at the mosque about his family life. There is no central authority for Muslims especially not here in the U.K.
It seems non Muslims/atheists have a problem with moderate Muslims, mumsnet sharia court is basically saying you can’t pick and choose, you must do this or that but reality of many Muslims here and around the world for centuries over is they absolutely pick and choose. That’s goes for followers of all religions. Most moderate Muslims believe god is most merciful, over the fire and brimstone stuff, and do their best in their circumstances as op’s husband will do without disrupting his family life. I mean there are plenty of Muslim men married to non converted women, and I’m seeing more and more muslim women marrying non Muslim men. If they’re happy then it’s nobody’s business.
I mean I know so many Muslim women here and in moderate Muslim countries who don’t wear hijab, mumsnet will say how very dare they pick and choose. better wear a full burka. Most people aren’t forced to be muslim in the U.K. so they do what they feel comfortable with, people find benefit in religion for all sorts of reasons so following it to the letter is not what many want to do. Like I said I’m born muslim, I don’t have much dealings with the community or family so if I was to leave Islam nobody would care. Not even my muslim neighbours etc. i have had times where I’ve questioned faith and my Dh has been nothing but supportive and accepts me as I am. I have had friends leave islam in the U.K. and the most they get is people (who don’t even know them personally) stare as they’ve changed their dress apart from that nobody has tried to stone them ffs. So I’m not understanding all this that op’s Dh must do this or that. No he doesn’t! And as for kids any birth rites aren’t compulsory anyway, religious practice for kids starts after puberty, OP will notice before then if her Dh is wanting to inflict religion onto them and can make decisions accordingly. Honestly, my kids don’t seem any different on the surface to non Muslim kids, and I know a lot of Muslim parents don’t send their kids to madrassa as they don’t like the environment, these are born Muslim parents. how would anyone know the family set up without interrogating them. Makes no sense. oP my original post to you still stands, anything can change with him but stand your ground and don’t be coerced into anything. Like I said there is no compulsion in religion, certainly not in a non sharia country. There is so much misinformation about laws that only apply in sharia practicing countries but people think it applies here in the U.K. how can you have any laws when they can’t be legally enforced whether it’s marriage or otherwise. Good luck with him trying to marry another woman when he’s already married. What’s the worst that will happen, you treat it like an affair and dump him, I’m muslim and wouldn’t hesitate if my Dh wanted to take another wife. Like I said nobody should be forced to do to accept anything if the law is on their side.