Husband converted to Islam

[newbookonshelf]

What would you make of this? Not sure what I'm asking. He's trying to find himself I suppose. We're all looking for meaning in this world. I've thought about religion many times, but just not sure what to make of it right now.

Maybe it’s his mid life crisis, men often find themselves a bit loss , some have affairs, some buy fast cars, some find a new god.

I want to give up alcohol anyway to be honest and don't go out with boobs on show etc. etc. etc. It's just how I am.

This seems more and more like coursework for a exam, you question what he's doing but will go along with it

Also you would have to marry him in an islamic way to still be his wife so youd have to convert(revert)

To answer your original question OP, I would leave. All religions are about making men feel superior and about controlling women, it doesn't matter what religion it is, it's all about making men the most important people in the world whilst women become their servants.

So it boils down to if he will require any changes at home really. If i sjust means he prays when he otherwise would be having his down time at home, that's fine. If it affects the wife then it's not fine.

It always amazes me that women follow religion and read holy books when they are littered with sexism, mysogyny and child abuse.

I don't know why you think I have any love for Christianity or Judaism - I don't. But the thread isn't about somebody's husband having converted to Christianity or Judaism, it's about them having converted to Islam. It therefore seemed relevant and appropriate to point out that the source teachings of Islam (considered within the religion as the absolute word of God) are sexist, antisemitic and homophobic - without having to engage in infinite whataboutery first about exactly which other religions may or may not be just as bad, better or worse.

Can you point to which of my posts you think shows I’m offended?

I’m amused and far from offended.

If you’re looking for someone offended, look to the person who took umbrage at being called a ‘silly atheist’ when no one called her such.

A decent perspective. It's probably less disruptive than the affair but not as useful as the car.

As someone with family who follow a number of different religions I won’t sugar coat this.
Unless you are looking to convert yourself - you need to leave.

Based on my own family & friends experiences, of post marriage conversion to various religions/ organisations - it hasn’t worked with one partner in the other out.

The issue with someone converting post marriage is that you don’t really know where they stand with their religion. Unlike someone growing up who might be Muslim but drinks, Jewish but eats pork, or Hindu but eats beef. They’ve had time to decide what aspects of their religion they want and they’ve evolved over time.Yes certain aspects might change but they’ve likely played scenarios out in their heads before you came along.

Your husband is at the start of the journey - which means even if he says he’s ok with certain things now his views might change later.

What if you have children & wants them to be raised in his religion, or have religious names?

What if he decides he wants a second wife or he wants to follow other aspects of the religion which you might not like?

but if he follows Islam properly, he will be an even better husband, father, son, brother, colleague and so on

Wow - that's an absurd statement to make. Do you really think people following Islamic teaching are superior to all others?

I think OP knows her husband better than we do.

If she wants to be with him and let him practice his new faith then it should be allowed.

She seems aware of what she will and will not tolerate so just telling her to leave now may not be suitable advice for her.

Op keep talking to your husband listening and let him understand your feelings and thoughts. You can work together on this.

I'm sure he won't turn into a monster overnight as some on here suggest.

Where does the poster say that? Try and understand that statement before you start branding people's statements as absurd

They say the same of reborn Christians, yet instead of getting the blessed compassion of our lord, most become eventually judgemental horrible people.

I think OP knows her husband better than we do.

If she wants to be with him and let him practice his new faith then it should be allowed.

Agreed. The irony of people telling OP religion is controlling and in the same breath telling her she must leave him or she needs to leave him is amusing. It’s ok for some random women to tell what OP what to do apparently.

The OP chose to post on here looking for advice.

I think you don’t understand the concept of posting on MN to get other people’s perspective or opinions.

Given that seems to have no problem with her husbands new found religion I'm not sure her intention was to ask for advice.

‘You need to leave him’ is more of an order than advice.

I think you are sounding irate for some reason.

Thanks. I think everyone has mental health issues to a degree because life is hard, myself included. We are similar in we get very interested in things. Like I said, I don't have an issue with him having a faith. Because he came home with the news, I've not had chance to process most of it, but I've asked questions.

The problem is I have no idea how far it will go and as people on here have pointed out it may depend on who he listens to. I've been totally clear I will probably never follow a religion because I've already considered them over my life and I'm older than him and had time to do that, whereas he's just come to this and yes it was quick.

I appreciate the input here, it has highlighted things we didn't think of, and I discussed with him last night.

I had a friend who did this, and went to some groups with her too, but wasn't convinced by any of it, but she did just phase it out after a bit. I won't push him on it. I'll leave it alone for a bit now to be honest and see what happens.

Sorry, no he didn't. I drink and he knows that won't change unless I want it to, and I do want it to kind of, not too much motivation but obviously not using alcohol is always preferable.

I'm saying I dress conservatively, my days of showing my body off are over, by my choice.

So my point was really that he needn't worry about either if he ever wanted to order me because I'm kind of up for them anyway. But if he tried to order me to not drink I wouldn't be up for that no. It would be my own choice.

I'm as ignorant as you to be honest.

The praying doesn't bother me. We both WFH and if he's praying up there I wouldn't even know let alone care.

As for raising our child and a future child Muslim he's agreed that that won't happen and that he will in fact be sinning by not doing that, also by staying married to me, obviously we got married before he converted.

But if his God doesn't recognise our marriage well, does it matter since the law of our country does and really the only thing I follow is the law of my country to which I am native and which I respect and love.

To be honest our marriage was secular and even though I might have my own beliefs in some higher being it's neither here nor there as our marriage was a personal and legal contract.

He seems to be going into it as a moderate Muslim. So he's like 'yeah I'll sin but I'll just explain that to Allah on the day of judgement and hope he's okay with it'

I mean this is exactly why I'm not one religion, because I'd want to be it to its fullest and I know I can't be/am not willing to be.

Well no, because we are married under law. So what if Allah doesn't respect our marriage?

Trying to work out what the issue is here, for myself.

Yes I think so.

Well this is it really isn't it. It's all looking to the future and obviously he doesn't know so can't give me answers.

All that would certainly be a worry yes and I can't see how he will continue to reconcile it all so that makes me think the only way around it is for it to fizzle out. Really don't know.

He's agreed our children wouldn't be raised in Islam. How will any mosque community deal with this?

A second wife? Haha! Absolutely no way. Plus, that would be recognised under Islam only since bigamy is illegal. But of course that's not going to happen, if he wants four wives I won't be one of them.