Husband converted to Islam

[newbookonshelf]

What would you make of this? Not sure what I'm asking. He's trying to find himself I suppose. We're all looking for meaning in this world. I've thought about religion many times, but just not sure what to make of it right now.

I'm an atheist so it would be a deal-breaker for me. As for him saying that he's not changing into a different person,anyone who says that with regards to converting to Islam is kidding themselves. Islam is a way of life,not a little hobby on the side that you dip into when you fancy.

🙄

Only people I’ve seen get triggered are the atheist ‘lot’

Only people I’ve seen get triggered are the atheist ‘lot’

Not really some of us enjoy our interactions with the believers.

@newbookonshelf If I was you, my main concern would be whether his newfound belief would impact your dd’s way of life. I have some Muslim friends (women) and their fathers expect them to follow a certain path (whatever they dictate eg dating, marriage, career, food, clothes). Maybe it’s just the women I know. Not sure if there’s varying levels of strictness for women. There are other strict religions too.

Some of ‘us’ as in a group, eh 😂

Some of ‘us’ as in a group, eh 😂
Again you want to be part of some group that's on you not me.

I'm going to ignore the posters just here to insult each other and focus on the OP's situation...

OP this must be really unsettling for you. As a convert to Islam, and as someone who has seen a lot of converts over the years, I can say that there are many who have become better people through their conversion and spiritual journey, and others who have somewhat lost the plot. I'm hoping your husband will be one of the former! But the assumption from so many (both Muslims and non-Muslims) that you're now going to become a zealot as soon as you convert can be really frustrating - there's absolutely no reason why your husband should become a different person.

Keep communication open with your husband and maybe reach out to a convert support group - there's one in Leicester that is run by and for converts and their families and I can assure you they are warm and kind and far removed from the nutters you hear about in the media.

Wishing you and your husband all the love, kindness and patience as you both go through this together

I’m an athiest but I’m not part of a group. They probably say similar things because there’s probably only so many ways you can say I don’t believe there is a god and here’s my reasons why. Personally I don’t believe in a god (unless he’s a very bad one) because, among other reasons, I can’t get on board with there being a caring god who allows atrocities against children. Unless of course he can’t do anything about it in which case he’s no more powerful than me. Thing is, you sound offended, but I don’t think atheists feel offended when their atheism is insulted.

You need to brush up on your Bible and other scripture. Very few religious texts are not sexist because of the time period and cultural context in which they were written.
Homophobia, for instance, is massive in the Bible.

As for anti-Semitism, Islam is a Semitic aka Abrahamic faith. But if you are referring to anti-Jewish sentiment in the Qu'ran, you'll find that Jews are rated fairly highly although this is open to interpretation by modern day scholars.

My point being is the majority of early scripture is sexist and homophobic so I do hope that you indictment of Islam also applies to other religions too.

Thing is, you sound offended, but I don’t think atheists feel offended when their atheism is insulted.

No one has said that atheism should be thrown in the bin though

We are both vegans for ethical reasons and he's said to me in the past he would have a problem with me eating meat, as I would him yes, we are both strongly opposed to hurting animals so yes that would be a dealbreaker but there is absolutely no stipulation a Muslim must eat meat but it is considered a sin to reject God's gifts.

It's also a sin to not bring your children up Muslim but as we've spoken he is okay with sinning, he seems to be working through stuff, as am I, and we will just keep communicating.

He knows my stance. the issue will come if/when his community (however involved he is, he has said it's a personal thing for him, not necessarily being part of the community) make assertions and we're speaking about this now.

OP, I posted on your other thread. If H is happy in his newfound faith, more power to him, but lay down the law in terms of your boundaries regarding hijab, alcohol, etc, early on. And watch out for zealotry as noted upthread.
As for the hijab and your daughter, not all Muslim father's insist on this. Mine did not!

It would be the end for me, I like a drink, would be concerned that he might want me to dress differently, not eat a bacon sandwich every now and then, and want me to fast at Ramadan. I don't see that he would be happy with me carrying on with the life I have now and would put undue pressure on me to convert or at least go along with it. I knew a couple where one became a 'happy clappy' and it ended the marriage as the convert just couldn't resist trying to get the spouse to join in. So, no.

Thanks for this. .Yes it's a personal thing for him, he says he wanted to be close to God and that's why he took the shahada. I feel that you don't need to take anything or call yourself anything to be close to God, and this means different things to different people, I have my own beliefs but they don't really go outside of myself as I feel it's very personal.

So yes he is doing this for something more internal than external. I've been very clear from the get-go about my beliefs and also what I am not willing to accept which is basically him asking me to change my behaviour in any way. I want to give up alcohol anyway to be honest and don't go out with boobs on show etc. etc. etc. It's just how I am.

I'll echo the others. You need to sit down and have a talk what this means. There are as many ways to practise Islam as there are Muslims. However, I've yet to meet a convert (of any religion) that practises religion very casually investment they've done it for marriage. Unfortunately I know few too any people who have converted cut all non believers from their lives and they are no longer with us and then on the balance my MIL version of Islam has minimal effect on the lives of the non-religious.

I still don’t understand why religious people feel insulted though if non believers make scathing remarks. Why the sensitivity? I doubt the god would be offended over such trifles, he’s got the dilemma of abused children to worry about.

Have you not seen the sensitive atheists getting upset on this thread? Why the sensitivity?

I haven’t, no.

I've not RTFT but I'm guessing that some (not all) atheists on this thread, and on Mumsnet in general, denigrate the religion and the views/beliefs of the religious person. Less so vice versa.

to babba2014
Why do you say that the Q'ran is the only unchanging book? I have not heard that before. What about the Bible, which is thousands of years old.

The Qur'an is perceived as being written by Muhammad as told to him by God.

The Bible is written by various apostles and others years after Jesus died (obv referring to New Testament) and was rewritten by the Pope and later kings.

Old Testament, New Testament. I’m no expert but wasn’t it made more palatable because god was a bit of c…. in the first one.

@DamnUserName21

As for anti-Semitism, Islam is a Semitic aka Abrahamic faith. But if you are referring to anti-Jewish sentiment in the Qu'ran, you'll find that Jews are rated fairly highly although this is open to interpretation by modern day scholars.

It refers to them as apes and pigs.

My point being is the majority of early scripture is sexist and homophobic so I do hope that you indictment of Islam also applies to other religions too.

Of course. I wouldn't tolerate sexism or homophobia of judaic or Christian origin either.

Convenient. Have a read and report back.