Cleaner had her DC there with her today

[changinglanesagain]

I've had my cleaned for about 3 months. She's really good. I really like her work

Anyway, I gave her a key last week and today I popped home for lunch unexpectedly. She had her DD there with her...

Apparently it's a teacher training day for them and so her DD had to come too. I asked why she couldn't reschedule to do another date or even better, come this evening?

She said she couldn't come this evening due to her DS coming home, he's disabled, and she'd just much rather not let me down for my allocated day so thought she'd just being DD along

I said okay... and that was that

AIBU to think she should've asked my permission first?

So not to drip feed, she was sat at my dining table doing colouring and had a few toys out

100%

Times are insanely tough for families, especially low paid workers with small children, and even more so for those with disabled children as there is little to no help available these days, and they can't work when they have their disabled children at home.

OP - you are going to get a whole host of different replies on here. It was clearly a one off, she’s embarrassed, you’re embarrassed.
If you like her, draw a line under it and move on.
It’s hard for cleaners just now, people are tightening their belts and she probably didn’t want to let you down and lose money.
Maybe she should have asked but if you aren’t usually there it’s an oversight from her.
Id message her and just say you don’t mind her kid being there but a heads up next time. That’s it, done and dusted.

@changinglanesagain but WHY is it a problem?

So everyone who’s criticizing the OP is able to bring their children to work with them whenever they please, you don’t need to ask anyone?

I don’t know why you are getting such a hard time. It’s a common courtesy - anyone with an office job just show up with their child without asking their boss if that’s ok? And it’s in your private home - surely you have a right to know if they want to change their agreement with you. The issue for me is not the child colouring quietly - it’s her relationship with you. A cleaner needs to build absolute trust with a client as they are being given keys and access to all their belongings but more importantly the place they call home. If she feels comfortable over stepping this boundary without checking with you - what other boundaries is she prepared to overstep?

Actually you came home unexpectedly? She went without you paying her?

Surely you'd have left payment if you didn't expect to be home......

I smell a rat 🐀!

I could, and no, I'm the one who would need to okay it. Regardless, the child being there didn't mean the cleaner couldn't do her job. The OP has also made herself sound quite ridiculous by wanting to give her "blessing".

@changinglanesagain So not to drip feed, she was sat at my dining table doing colouring and had a few toys out.

What??! How dare she! 😂

Well I hope you paid her now. Poor woman probably run out if you treated her in an unpleasant way, not because she thought she did anything wrong, but you probably let her know with voice/gestures you were unhappy and made her feel bad about it.

But OP didn't expect to be home, so why wasn't payment left anyway?

🤔

It's not an office job. It didn't impact the work she was doing.

If the OP hadn't come home, she would never have known. And I'm guessing the reason her employee didn't ask her is because she thought she'd say no.

And I'd guess as a parent of a disabled child who has had to leave her well paid job, that might impact her ability to pay her rent or feed her children.

This thread makes me really sad.

She should have asked your permission to bring her child to your house, it’s polite. However, you could have just said to her it’s fine as a one off in the circumstances but if it happens again you would appreciate a heads up in advance that she will be there so you know who is in your house. Except you went on to ask why she didn’t rearrange thus implying it isn’t the permission that’s the issue but the presence of the child. No wonder she left rather sheepishly after that.

Bonkers answers on here! Do those of you who work, regularly take your DCs to your workplace for the day if you have child care problems? I don’t know of anyone who does this. It’s irrelevant whether your job is a cleaner, or working a desk job in an office, you can’t just show up with child in tow, otherwise we’d all be doing it. Being a cleaner in someone’s home is still employer/employee situation, and at the very least, something like this should be run by your employer.

I understand being pissed of at finding your cleaner shagging her boyfriend in your bedroom, but having her daughter sitting quietly at the table colouring with pencils because cleaner she couldn't find a last minute nanny is no reason to be upset. Unless of course you're a very very uptight type of person.

Oh course it's different

Working alone in a house or working at a busy office is totally different.

So if you were WFH, your child was unable to attend school and your child care arrangements failed. You knew they'd happily sit colouring, allowing you to work, you'd take the day off....

Yeah right!

It’s not an office job though is it! It’s one person working for another, and that person has sole discretion to be a decent human and understand that a cleaner almost certainly couldn’t afford to lose a days money during a cost of living crisis! More fool the cleaner for thinking the OP might fall into the ‘decent human’ category!

Just because you CAN make life difficult for you employee doesn’t mean you should!!

If anything I’d say it’s worse in someone’s own home, to bring your child without telling them and knowing it isn’t part of your arrangement.

I think she could have communicated with you better, and checked that it was okay.

But perhaps she was worried you'd say no, and she couldn't reschedule, and since you weren't going to be there...

I don't think her actually bringing her children occasionally is a problem though.

@Kanaloa maybe you would, but thankfully you're in the minority as this thread shows.

@Conkersareback I didn't leave money because I knew I'd be home

Of course you did!

🙄

Why?

I’m quite happy to be in the minority of thinking it’s basic manners to ask your employee before bringing your children into their home.

You knew you'd "unexpectedly" be home?!

She probably thinks she's lost this job. I hope you've paid her now.

@Kanaloa that's great you're glad to be in the minority, I'm also glad you're in the minority.