Cleaner had her DC there with her today

[changinglanesagain]

I've had my cleaned for about 3 months. She's really good. I really like her work

Anyway, I gave her a key last week and today I popped home for lunch unexpectedly. She had her DD there with her...

Apparently it's a teacher training day for them and so her DD had to come too. I asked why she couldn't reschedule to do another date or even better, come this evening?

She said she couldn't come this evening due to her DS coming home, he's disabled, and she'd just much rather not let me down for my allocated day so thought she'd just being DD along

I said okay... and that was that

AIBU to think she should've asked my permission first?

So not to drip feed, she was sat at my dining table doing colouring and had a few toys out

@Loics exactly!!

Blessing…???? FFS, have a word with yourself!

YABU

🤣🤣🤣

I don’t think it’s anything to do with being a snob. You are paying one person to come and provide a service. If I didn’t have childcare one day I couldn’t just rock up to work with a helper in tow. I don’t think my boss would be called a snob for not wanting my child there 😂

I have a cleaner who has done quite a long list of things like this now and I feel like she’s really just taking the mick a bit now. She’s brought her child multiple times and just introduced her like we’d met in the supermarket or something, no mention of ‘sorry is it okay?’ she’s in cleaning my bedroom etc and her child must just be chilling in my room 🙈 It’s hardly ideal. I didn’t say anything but it’s now happened a few times. She’s paid for a set amount of time and will leave 15 minutes early pretty much every time. If I came in and the house was immaculate and smelling amazing I feel like I wouldn’t mind so much but there’s really obvious things completely covered in dust that she doesn’t touch one week to the next then leaves early like there was nothing left to do. I feel too awkward now to address it so I think I’m going to have to get a new cleaner

Why didn't you pay her? Why when she was finishing up, didn't you pay her? Why didn't you say as she was leaving, hold on her is your pay?

Did you want her to ask for her wages?

Because that's fucking awful!

Did you think she had to ask, because she'd broken an unwritten rule?

Have you now paid her?

So you immediately called or messaged her to tell her she'd left without being paid, I hope, OP and resolved that?

Or even stops her leaving without her pay? Imagine that!

Yes of course.

I have text and offered to do a bank transfer but no response yet

I always told my cleaner to bring her kids anytime she liked! Single mum on low wages can't afford childcare . Didn't bother me in the slightest. Delightful boys who quietly watched telly or played the tablet.

@changinglanesagain why didn't you just pay her as she was leaving?

She's obviously a very busy person, who needs to deal with a disabled child when he comes home, I'm sure looking at messages isn't her priority?

Maybe go and put the wages you didn't leave or pay her through her door?

I wfh, and nope, we can’t have primary school children sat at home with us whilst working. There’s no flexibility at all around this. We have impromptu video calls done to check that we are not working alongside child care. Of course if OP was happy with the arrangement of her cleaner bringing her child to the home when working, then no problem. But it’s her house, her rules, and if she would rather have a handle on who she has coming into her home at any point, then that’s her prerogative. Op isn’t saying she doesn’t want the child coming to her house, just that she would have liked the courtesy of a heads up. Nothing wrong with that. At all.

If the child was well behaved and didn't make a mess and the cleaner did her job there's not a problem

She probably should have mentioned it but sounds like the child was settled so it wouldn’t bother me at all. She must know her child is well behaved or she probably wouldn’t have brought her.

My cleaner is well aware that I need her more than she needs me.

She asks me stuff but it's not as if I'm ever going to say no. Without her there would be no cleaning done and no laundry.

She is basically the queen of my house.

I mean, childcare is so cheap and there isn't a cost of living crisis or anything. God forbid we show a little understanding.

I was expecting to read you walked in and she was jumping on the furniture with her shoes on. But sat at the table colouring? Her mum obviously knows her well enough to know that she will behave in someone else's home.

I used to go with my mum back in the 80's. Even remember going with her to clean bedsits between tenants. I wouldn't have an issue with it. There's a cost of living crisis. If she can avoid paying for childcare on an inset day what is the issue?

OK, a solution going forward OP. Tell the cleaner that the next time there's a childcare issue to reschedule a more suitable time so the quiet colouring child doesn't bother you so much. Lesson learned, cleaner won't ask, so you stop it from happening again.

Yes of course.

I have text and offered to do a bank transfer but no response yet

So glad you did.

Perhaps she's tired up with her disabled son? Or maybe she's feeling upset and a bit embarrassed that she's in this position in the first place? I doubt her life is a walk in the park.

So interesting how some women are using this thread as an opportunity to slag off their cleaner.

They could of course talk to their cleaners. But no! Bitching about them on social media is much better

@Livelovebehappy if you were working in your guest room, how would an impromptu video call show a DC colouring at the kitchen table?

Do you have to do a full video call round your whole house?

A text from the cleaner along the lines of 'my DD has an inset day on Friday so I'd need to bring her along to your house, is that ok or would you rather I came a different day' would have been appropriate.

I suspect you might find that you no longer have a cleaner.
it sounds like you interrogated her, have a expectation that she can suddenly be free for evening cleaning out of hours and were pretty unfriendly.

what bothered you about the child being there exactly @changinglanesagain ?

if it’s literally that your cleaner didn’t ‘ask your blessing’ for her child to sit and colour at the table, then it sounds as if you have some serious hierarchy issues

I don't mind.

My cleaner brings her child occasionally, I offer biscuits and keep the dogs away, though the child is now happy to cuddle with them. on a sofa. Keeps them all out of the way.

My cleaner used to do this occasionally. Her daughter sat at the kitchen table and crayoned and played with a toy. Never bothered me, I was just pleased to get the cleaning done.