Cleaner had her DC there with her today

[changinglanesagain]

I've had my cleaned for about 3 months. She's really good. I really like her work

Anyway, I gave her a key last week and today I popped home for lunch unexpectedly. She had her DD there with her...

Apparently it's a teacher training day for them and so her DD had to come too. I asked why she couldn't reschedule to do another date or even better, come this evening?

She said she couldn't come this evening due to her DS coming home, he's disabled, and she'd just much rather not let me down for my allocated day so thought she'd just being DD along

I said okay... and that was that

AIBU to think she should've asked my permission first?

So not to drip feed, she was sat at my dining table doing colouring and had a few toys out

My DH can't just decide to take the kids into work because schools off.

Your DH? Why not you? I'm guessing you don't have a job and your DH would have you to do all things school and child related?

Do you seriously have no empathy for, this woman and what her life might bigger like. And sorry, intruder? Was the five year old wearing a balaclava? Ridiculous.

A child left unattended? Have you counted the biscuits?

My friends a cleaner, it's funny that everyone thinks they are the only people she cleans for. Like she can just book them in another day or later on. Especially when they are the ones who cancel last minute

The cleaner should have asked if it was ok as a courtesy. That would have been less awkward, maybe the OP would have agreed it was ok in advance.
Teacher training days are generally included in the published Term Dates well in advance.

I don’t think you’re an ogre. But if you have found someone you trust, maybe give her a call (late morning when she’s done the school run), have a chat and set clear boundaries that work for both of you. If she’s not reasonable then you are right to have doubts, though my bet is she will be grateful that you are so supportive.

You sound an absolute utterly depressing snob. Was your house clean? Was the service she is charging you for performed? She is a contractor not a serf. Have a word with yourself.

I had this happen to me. I arrived to find a girl of about 6 standing on a dining room chair, cleaner upstairs at work. Words were had. I liked her a lot, her work was excellent, so we agreed she could stay, but never ever bring the girl again. I really wasn't happy about a child being left unsupervised in my house, it's full of stuff she could have injured herself with, or broken.

What did I just read 🤦‍♀️

@Livelovebehappy so why all the nastiness to me when you thought I was the one with te "guest room"?

Yeah I have fuck more loads of empathy than you and don't have a guest room.

Not sure the OP is a crashing snob. If you pay for a service, you don't really expect someone's child there. Do you take your child to work? When you get your boiler serviced, does the technician park their child at your table?

As a one off, it doesn't sound like a problem, although it would have been polite to ask, particularly depending on the age of a child. People might be pissed about a toddler marauding, but if the child was sitting at the table, it seems OK.

I agree. But childcare can fall through at last minute … my point is she obviously (rightly or wrongly) didn’t feel comfortable asking so thought it would do no harm to sit her kid in the corner and do her job. She didn’t steal, trash the house or do any harm and left without being paid for the work she did. OP has even said normally she’s great. So I don’t think OP is the one who has come off worst here. To say well she doesn’t get to work then is incredibly dismissive and shows a huge lack of empathy for a woman working her ass off to support her family, and doing a good job. I’m glad OP didn’t take that approach.

@Conkersareback

Why didn't you pay her? Why when she was finishing up, didn't you pay her? Why didn't you say as she was leaving, hold on her is your pay?,

Did you want her to ask for her wages?

Because that's fucking awful!

Did you think she had to ask, because she'd broken an unwritten rule?

Have you now paid her?

You come across as a menacing bully here. It's awful.

@changinglanesagain be honest, you've withheld her wages, you wanted her to ask, as you felt she'd crossed you?

Nasty.

Take her wages you've failed to deliver in the manner that was agreed and put them through her door.

Awful behaviour!

Wanting to know who is in your home while you are out does not make you a snob! I would have been annoyed too. Pre-arranged and mutually agreed on would have been fine though.

The child was obviously entertained and not causing an issue so why are you having an issue with it ??

FFS, this thread is mental, op I’d have been pissed odd too.

i would not want someone I was paying to do a job in my home bring random kids, if a plumber had brought a random kid in tow I bet you’d have had different answers, just because it’s a cleaner doesn’t make it ok… what if the kid (like my own are) was constantly asking for attention… would you all be happy paying an hourly rate to someone who spent 20 mins of each hour getting cups of juice, explaining why it’s a bad idea to draw on the walls, or taking them to the loo…

I'm no bully, I expect the OP to pay her cleaner, in the agreed format!

And?

@changinglanesagain no need to 'offer' to do a bank transfer, just do it ffs. She did the work, she doesn't need to beg for payment.

What an entitled snob. You sound awful.

@Conkersareback isn't the bully here!

@mam0918

YANBU... wtf is wrong with people here.

My thoughts exactly. Just goes to show they have a lack of courtesy themselves.

The crux of this is everyone know you dont invite someone into someone elses house without permission, that just the very basic of manners.

You'd think it was obvious wouldn't you. My brother always says common sense isn't that common unfortunately.

I would expect to be asked and I could decide if I'm okay with it, or tell her not to worry and leave it to next week.

So go out now and pay her. Also apologise for your earlier unreasonable behaviour.

It more reads like you possibly withheld her pay because you so sanctimoniously believed she had wronged you when she hadn't. You should be putting that right immediately.

Maybe they needed the bank details first? The offer could have been 'if you like i'll transfer the money if you let me have your bank details', and OP is awaiting the reply.

How? Just put it through some random door and hope it happens to be the cleaners !