Cleaner had her DC there with her today

[changinglanesagain]

I've had my cleaned for about 3 months. She's really good. I really like her work

Anyway, I gave her a key last week and today I popped home for lunch unexpectedly. She had her DD there with her...

Apparently it's a teacher training day for them and so her DD had to come too. I asked why she couldn't reschedule to do another date or even better, come this evening?

She said she couldn't come this evening due to her DS coming home, he's disabled, and she'd just much rather not let me down for my allocated day so thought she'd just being DD along

I said okay... and that was that

AIBU to think she should've asked my permission first?

So not to drip feed, she was sat at my dining table doing colouring and had a few toys out

Club den

Also our old house had a crayon my DS forgot about on a hot day near the window that melted and perminantly melded into the wood, NOTHING would get it out and being a bloody crayon we couldnt even paint over the fucking thing it was like the bloody tell tale heart alway reappearing no matter what we tried.

I bet OPs cleaner could have got that stain out. 🤣

There’s was one child. Not children.

are you self employed too? I expect not as you mention a boss.

So that’s an entirely different working relationship

If she worked in any other job she would have to take the day off, My DH can't just decide to take the kids into work because schools off.

Imagine if all working parents did that?

This womans job is no different than any other, OP is the employee and more so the work enviroment is her PRIVATE HOME, she has every right to not want unexpected intruders.

I think this is the most sensible post. Everyone now feels awkward …. but easy to find a way forward. As PP suggests - heads up next time please. And DC within speaking/hearing distance of you at all times.

Would add that yes, cleaner should really have asked. If she had, and the OP had suggested an evening clean, cleaner would have been able to explain why not possible due to other DC who is disabled.

I’d also say that I suspect she wasn’t being sneaky, just trying to find a way to maintain her income, knowing that she had a well-behaved DC, and couldn’t offer a reschedule this week and would therefore lose £ and let you down.

OP this should be such a non issue. I can’t understand why you’re making it one.

You said she was embarrassed and left without taking her money - that’s because YOU made her feel that way, not because she had done something wrong.

I have to admit, I agree with the poster above who said you want power / control here for some reason.

You choose to buy their services

In which case you can choose to allow their child to come with them or not, once you are asked.

Whilst I do think she should have given you a heads up, how could she have come in the evening with 2 kids at home. I have no issue if and when this happens, because most people with this job, fit it around kids and that's not always possible to predict. Id tell her you don't mind, but would appreciate a heads up when she needs to bring her daughter.

Im self employed, I dont take my kids to weddings I work at uninvited and I wouldnt have a career if word got around that I was doing that.

OP is the employer/boss.

I wouldn’t mind at all. I’ve had some HUGE childcare issues in the past and could never call some out for bringing their child to work. Have a bit of solidarity with working women for goodness sake. Kids know how to behave in situations like this. Maybe not entitled middle class kids. Can’t believe the comments I’ve read 😮

Of course she should have asked.

And if DC was of an age to colour and/or watch telly, you would have said 'that's fine in an emergency'.

Just assuming is not good.

I wouldn't want a strange child to have the run of my house/valuables, and I would expect to be asked in advance, but probably would have given permission out of compassion.

Sorry in advance, OP. Didn't intend to imply you lost it. Meant to direct that toward to harsher replies here. SMH at all the replies here wanting to keep the lower classes in there place.

I’m siding with the fact that yes, she should have given the heads up to the OP before just taking her dd with her. It’s just common courtesy to do so. I don’t get why you would think it okay to not mention it to OP at all? But I guess we both have different opinions on it.

I would FAR rather someone cancel than they invite strangers (any stranger, hell infact anyone even my own family) into my house while I'm out without permission, that my private home not a club den for people to hang out or wait in.

She wasn't using the house as a 'club den'; she was allowing her own, evidently well-behaved child to accompany her to work in a childcare emergency.

You have the right to feel as you do, and to make the rules. But if them's your rules, it would be best not to give the cleaner, or other worker, your key, and to accept the inconvenience of having them only come if you're at home. Once you accept their being there in your absence, you accept that you can't have absolute control over every detail of their movemenf.

What, if working parents had occasional one-offs where there kids were there?
I go absolutely apoplectic if I hear one of my employees' children during a Teams meeting, I mean I could just acknowledge that it isn't doing any actual harm but you know, they wouldn't know I was in charge and superior otherwise, can't have them thinking people will have a bit of understanding.

Get a grip!

There are more and more posters on here who sound like characters in A Christmas Carol. I don't mean Bob Cratchit.

And she doesn’t get paid?! We are on the brink of a recession and this woman had to give up her professional career to care for a disabled child. OP knows this. Yet as OP said, she’s doing a great job, she trusts her enough to give her a key and said she did what she could to not let OP down.
I bet the situation was awkward as hell for both of them, but this woman does not deserve to lose her job or income because of something quite minor.

Interesting that so many are anti a cleaner bringing their child to work as a one off, due to childcare issues, yet mumsnetters are up in arms that they're not allowed to wfh with kids under foot.....

Are the people on here that are bothered by this concerned that the child may go in your jewellery box and get your pearls, as then you’d have nothing to clutch?

I hate it when children come into my house and end up gurgling it, even worse when they case the joint to come back later.

@Clymene if you wanted to talk to people in real life about your problems you wouldn’t be on MN surely 😂 the whole point is it’s an anonymous way to vent and get others opinions

The child was quietly colouring in. You are BU.

My mum’s cleaner would bring her dd every time. I played with her and gave her snacks if I was there.

I think that it wouldn't bother me if I'd met the child beforehand. But I think it's reasonable to ask in advance.