To think this was weird?

[zipperkz]

Had to take DS to an appointment today and we had to catch the bus. At the bus stop, a woman was there with her toddler and once we got on the bus asked where we were going, I told her the hospital and she said she also was. She then started telling me all about her child's disabilities etc, and then she asked about DS’s I told her I didn't feel comfortable telling her, she then asked if I wanted to meet up for a coffee after their appointments, I politely declined and told her we had plans.

Has anyone experienced anything like this before, I never had and it was rather odd but maybe that's just my opinion, AIBU?

Another one agreeing it wasn't weird. The OP asked. The thread has spoken.

Maybe she wasn't looking for a friend. Maybe she sensed how cold and hostile the OP was and thought maybe SHE needed a friend. I bet she wishes she hadn't bothered.

What a sad world it is when somebody talking to you is "odd". I live in the NE, everyone talks to everyone. I don't make threads about it though, just get on with my day

Yep @WeDoNotTalktoPennilynLott talking to people while waiting for buses or sitting on buses is normal. In London on the tube, a definite no. Maybe this is a north south divide thing.

She's desperately lonely. Not a crime.

But you did nothing wrong, op. It's not your responsibility to help her. She probably assumes you are as desperate to find parents in similar circumstances as she is. Someone else is out there for her.

I think it’s a London vs the rest of the country thing. I’m SE and people definitely chat on the bus especially if you have children.

A lot of you seem to be missing the point. It's not the striking up a conversation that's odd - it's the content of this specific conversation.

It is weird to start sharing medical details with strangers on the bus- if it was about the weather or how deluded Matt Hancock it'd be fine!

@JauntyJinty not necessarily so. If I had one arm and met a woman on a bus to the hospital with one arm I wouldn't think it weird to talk about our medical histories. There are clues in the opening post if you look for them.

They were both travelling to the same hospital with children who evidently have some sort of medical condition.
It's not half as random as you make it sound.

Neither 1 armed person would find it odd, OP did

There are clues in the fact she started the thread if you look for them

She then started telling me all about her child's disabilities etc, and then she asked about DS’s

Okay so maybe presumptuous of me but I took that to mean the OP's DS has disabilities.

Your point @JauntyJinty is that if the OP felt it was odd then it's odd. Even if the majority on this thread say the opposite. So what's the point asking then? The OP clearly wasn't sure else why bother creating a thread?

TBF, I agree getting the opinions on if it was weird or not and most people disagree, fair enough. It was the piling onto to OP and say that she was horrible and must have no friends that made me feel the need to stick up for them. She really didn't do anything wrong - she was polite and listened at the time and came on here to ask later.

To go back to your 2 people with 1 arm analogy - OPs post reads like it wasn't an even conversation - more like 1 person wanting to tell all the details, while the other would rather not talk about and was left feeling uncomfortable. Just because there's 1 similarity doesn't mean someone wants to hear all about your trials and tribulations!

@Johnnysgirl

..........the woman 'reached out.' .....

🤮

@Eastie77Returns

Time and time again on MN we talk about the fact that women are socialised from a young age to ‘be kind’ to someone even when that person makes them feel uncomfortable. In some cases, this has resulted in women putting themselves in harms way.

If the lonely parent on the bus was a man everyone would advise the OP to run a mile. The fact she is a woman, allegedly with a disabled child (the OP does not know the woman from Adam - the child could be anyone’s) and is “seeking friendship” means the OP should ignore her intuition and discomfort about this woman asking her intrusive questions and go out for a coffee with her. MN double standards at its finest.

It’s absolutely irrelevant that so many of you have made friends by happenstance in similar circumstances. That’s great. As it happens, I’ve also been for a coffee with a stranger (school parent I met at DD’s first day in Reception). That doesn’t mean it was right for the OP to befriend this person and she is fully entitled to find the behaviour odd if that’s how it felt to her.

We are too quick to dismiss women as unfriendly and unfeeling if they don’t respond in a ‘kind’ way to strangers.

Best post of the day. And yes it WAS intrusive, what the woman did. Intrusive and weird. Can't believe anyone thinks any different to be honest.

As quite a few posters have said now, the OP did NOTHING WRONG, and she doesn't deserve the finger-wagging pile-on she has been getting.

@JauntyJinty I agree with you. The hateful comments are also odd. But neither women on the bus did anything odd or wrong. They just have different ideas of social interaction. Not weird. Just different. And I do feel a little bit sad that somewhere there's a woman who might now feel 'what's wrong with me. Why did I mention a coffee'.

I see new mums doing this all the time. In coffee shops they'll get talking about the kids and the next thing you know they're exchanging numbers.

When I was a child someone would just come up to you and say "will you be my friend" and that was it, you were best friends. `if only we were as smart as kids.

It doesn't seem odd to me. I'd guess the bus was going to the hospital and when you said you were too I'd imagine she was just trying to show an interest and bond. She didn't care if your child was having his grommets out, seeing a speech therapist or a heart & lung specialist, she just saw another mum who might be glad of some company.
You made it quite clear you weren't up for coffee or further talk and I'll guess she smiled and left you to it.
Just so your prepared, when your child starts nursery/school people might ask if he has siblings, what part of town you live in or if you've tried the new pool/bounce/karate club....they might also ask if you've always lived round here or where you got your boots from. They might even ask if you want to meet up in the park....just warning 😉

She was trying to make a friend and I would have loved that. But on the flip side I have a friend where if she was in your shoes she would have been horrified. Everyone is different!

Poor lady. I hope she met someone nicer afterwards.

It amazes me that parents forget the example they're setting their children. Perhaps think about that in future.

Hi Op
It's OK not everyone has got a perfect support caring family and lots of good friends,
They
can turn to, whenever they want to or need it,
Yes the situation was obviously weird one, but that woman who was obviously lonely proberly cause of her situation and speacial needs child,
Was just reaching out desperately , thankfully to have someone who could possibly emphasis or sympathy what it's like to cope with speacial needs child,

One day you could be in a situation in which you are one and need someone to talk to reach out too,
Life is quirky funny like that,
What goes around, comes around,

Not obviously ha ha funny,

Hope this lonely woman met someone better later on
Who didn't think she was even a bit weird ,
Only the situation was on bit/somewhat Weird that's it,

Feel sorry for her, at least not everyone is as judgemental as weird as you op@zipperkz

Thank God,
Thankfully !

Typo situation you could be lonely and just a bit/ somewhat very Needy for some company,

One day op@zipperkz

This is an old thread from November last year.

That doesn't mean it's OPs job to provide that for anyone and everyone who happens to cross their path.

I think this is one of those things where it's easy to type on-line "I'd have had a coffee with them" but in reality giving up an hour in the middle of a busy day is actually quite difficult.