To think this was weird?

[zipperkz]

Had to take DS to an appointment today and we had to catch the bus. At the bus stop, a woman was there with her toddler and once we got on the bus asked where we were going, I told her the hospital and she said she also was. She then started telling me all about her child's disabilities etc, and then she asked about DS’s I told her I didn't feel comfortable telling her, she then asked if I wanted to meet up for a coffee after their appointments, I politely declined and told her we had plans.

Has anyone experienced anything like this before, I never had and it was rather odd but maybe that's just my opinion, AIBU?

I think this is a bit off. Not the conversation part but the wanting to meet for a coffee immediately afterwards. I have actually had this happen once when I was in the park with ds. I got chatting with a woman who was there with her ds, we had a couple of laughs and she asked me to meet for a coffee. I assumed she was lonely etc and I didn’t have many mum friends outside my (admittedly huge) family plus she seemed really nice so I agreed. Met her a few days later in the park cafe and she tried to sign me up to flog Virgin Vie.

From what you have said it seems like this woman was genuine but given my previous experience I wouldn’t be so keen to meet up
with a stranger after the first meeting.

This is why I prefer animals to people. Too complicated to navigate. With a dog you just scratch its ears, it sniffs your arse and that's it, you're friends.

Not snobby at all, I wouldn’t meet up with someone I had only met once no matter where it was even if it was at the park, fine to chat but meeting up for coffee with someone I’ve had one interaction with...no. Would be a different story if op and the woman kept bumping into each other and realised they had a lot in common but as a one off interaction yes I think it’s weird and I would wonder what their intentions are.

Wow, I'm surpried you're gettnig such a hard time here OP!

I get that it's nice to be friendly but this sounds to me like a huge amount of over reaching and trauma dumping

It's not in any way weird or rude to not want to discuss your childs medical history with a random stranger on the bus!

That poor woman.

I made a life long friend by striking up conversation in the library and going for coffee afterwards

You don’t have to be open to it but she’s not the one being weird about it either

I actually had a coffee today with a stranger 🤷‍♀️.he was behind me in the queue and I could tell from what he was saying to me that he had the same disability my child is being assessed for.
He asked if he could sit with me and told me due to his disability he often felt isolated.we spent a lovely hour chatting and his knowledge of his disability and how it affected him growing up was good to listen to. The man taught me more today than he could possibly know and made me feel better in decisions I've had to recently make regarding my daughter.I'd also like to think I made his day a little better too x

This is so lovely and heartwarming. I love that there are still some lovely people around who don't find things like this odd.
When I was a SAHM I would often make conversation with people I didn't know as I was so ridiculously lonely (DH was away with work often) and it was sometimes the only conversation I had in a day.

Poor woman was lonely and thought you two may have something in common.
Just being friendly I'd imagine.
Are you always this prickly?

Back in the good old days before social media, this is how people made friends. By chatting, finding common ground verbally.
Nothing weird about it in my eyes.

@Suzi888 me too ❤️

Of course it is odd to a) quiz a stranger about their child’s medical condition and b) ask said stranger to join you for a coffee.

All of these “awww, poor woman” comments and suggestions the OP is unkind are completely bizarre.

Why would anyone go for a coffee with a random they met on a bus? This woman sounds quite intrusive.

It's a shame, we will be too self conscious to breathe in public soon enough!

Both children going to the hospital and both with disabilities so the woman thought, as mums, they had something in common I think?
Not exactly a rando?

Yes maybe the woman was a little forward for some but maybe she was desperate to find someone who understands what she is going through?

@ghostsandpumpkinsalready what a beautiful thing to read!

The OP had never set eyes on this woman before. She was quizzed by a complete stranger about her child’s condition. Both the woman and her behaviour are what I would describe as random.

In any case, my argument is the OP shouldn’t be criticised for not joining this “woman she has something in common with” for coffee and for finding her behaviour odd.

Why on earth would you find that strange?

Awwww I'm that sad mum.

I struck up a conversation with another mum at baby class after we inadvertendly walked there together, and we went for coffee after.

Damn, never realised I was such a weirdo.

I think using the term ‘quizzed’ is a bit of an assumption, the OP said she asked about it, probably out of interest to try and build a foundation with the OP. I don’t know what OP thought the stranger was going to do after finding out?

People are way too touchy and suspicious these days. Christ.

Awww I feel so sorry for that poor mum 😢 doesn’t sound weird at all. Just wanted a chat probably with someone that was in a similar situation and would understand.

Well, your inner thoughts on people being friendly to each other clearly shows on your face so people think you're unapproachable and leave you alone. It's very normal for Mums to become friends by meeting in different settings.

I hope this doesn't put the lady on the bus off of speaking to other people. It is very isolating having a child with disabilities.

She was just making chit chat and was probably lonely and wanted to make a friend. I wish I was brave enough to do that with people.

I don’t mind chatting to People on the bus and have done. Wouldn’t go for a coffee with anyone of them though as it’s just polite chit chat.

And no I don’t think it’s “Normal” for mums to swap numbers on the bus 🤣 but then I’m in London and no this is not normal so maybe depends where you live as I said