To think this was weird?

[zipperkz]

Had to take DS to an appointment today and we had to catch the bus. At the bus stop, a woman was there with her toddler and once we got on the bus asked where we were going, I told her the hospital and she said she also was. She then started telling me all about her child's disabilities etc, and then she asked about DS’s I told her I didn't feel comfortable telling her, she then asked if I wanted to meet up for a coffee after their appointments, I politely declined and told her we had plans.

Has anyone experienced anything like this before, I never had and it was rather odd but maybe that's just my opinion, AIBU?

No it's not weird. The woman was trying to make friends. Sounds like she had a lucky escape.

Well it's not abnormal. How does anyone make friends?

I struck up a conversation at an antenatal appointment with a mum, we’ve become really good friends.

At Uni my friend once met a man on a bus and took him home for the evening (mad now we look back) they are married now 😁

Fair play to that woman. She clearly has her plate full with a child who has disabilities and was trying to be proactive about expanding her support network by making friends. You're not obliged to be friends with her but it's sad that you didn't recognise her friendliness for what it was.

I hope she isn't put off or viewed with suspicion by others if she tries again.

i think she was just looking for someone to talk to. Just curious but what made you feel uncomfortable to tell her, What do you think she would have done with the information?

Poor woman. She was clearly lonely and possibly isolated, having a child with complex needs. She thought you could bond over the shared stress of taking your children to the hospital - often a scary place for some people.

I would have been that woman on some occasions. I talk when I'm stressed. I was a gibbering wreck on the train home after my mum died. I'm glad the people I was sitting with were kinder than the OP.

No. I would love if another mother with a toddler was friendly and asked me to go for a coffee tbh. I have tried so hard to make mum friends but most of the time when I try to be friendly in the park or wherever they act like they can’t work out why I’m talking to them. I wouldn’t suggest meeting for a coffee or a play date because I have a strong feeling they would react like I’d asked can I go live with them at their house 😄
However, if you thought it was strange it probably was. It is hard to judge without having been there. Asking about why you’re going to the hospital is a bit nosey. I wouldn’t ask about that.

Sounds like she was trying to make a friend tbh. Someone who knows the challenges of raising a child with additional needs. It can be a lonely place.

Sad that it's considered odd.

I wish this would happen to me! I'm an over-sharer too though and love to meet somebody else who wants a good chat about our kids health. I hate how artificial our social interactions have become, I would much rather make friends in the wild!

No but you sound pretty rude and quite odd. It is quite normal to speak to people in life such as when waiting for the bus. You probably live nearby and she reasonably thought as you have things in common you may like to meet.
You were rude and why wouldn't you talk about your kids? Your behaviour was odd.

Is this just another Mumsnet snobbery thing? You couldn't possibly meet anyone decent on a bus, could you?

Disabled children are entitled to privacy and dignity. Even when you attend hospital appointments they minimise talking about what they can't do etc. Once the child can understand, the doctor (that I've seen) will apologise and make a joke about talking about the child.

I don't consider her odd in any way, but the OP didn't have to agree. The OP was polite, that's all that matters.

Weren't we all strangers? Strangers standing outside the school gates on our child's first day? starting a new job with a bunch of strangers?
It's just familiarity that makes us feel comfortable around people we know.
I feel sorry for her, she was just trying to be friendly with someone she thought she had something in common with. Your loss.

You think that disabled children are public property and their health should be for public consumption?

Why a ridiculously dramatic comment.

It is normal, you sound like a snob.

No I wouldn’t go for a coffee with someone I met on the bus and never have nor have I been asked let’s not
pretend it’s a normal situation to happen!
It's quite a normal situation isn't it? When my kids were small I went for coffee with people I met at playgroups, at the school gate, etc. I don't see that it's any different from meeting someone on a bus. I have also made friends by chatting to people on a bus.

I was asked to meet up for coffee by a lady I got chatting to in the neurologist’s waiting room. We’re meeting next week. I’m looking forward to it.

Loneliness and isolation. This was me 30 years ago, single mum in a strange town, 3 kids under 3. If a fellow mother asked if I fancied a coffee and a chat I would have snatched her hand off

YABU sounds like she needed a friend. For what its worth this has happened loads and loads of times to me (I must have one of those faces ). Usually after a short but warm conversation we part ways but once a woman approached me who was so polite and so clearly desperate I found myself agreeing to coffee in a nearby cafe. She talked (admittedly) at me for a couple of hours and I nodded sympathetically as she told me about her struggles with her 2 autistic children, the elder being very severe. Her husband had scarpered and she was so alone and overwhelmed. We departed without exchanging numbers, but I still think about her and hope she's doing better. I wish more people remembered that everyone's facing a battle you can't see and to be compassionate to strangers. (Ok sermon over!)

/waits for drip feed about how OP is sure this is the woman who she caught looking in through her downstairs loo's window last week/

Not weird at all. It could have turned into one of those random meetings that becomes a good friendship

If you'd had countless strangers point at your child asking "what wrong with her?" You wouldn't see it as dramatic.

I didn't want to tell a stranger about DS’s medical history and we did have plans after so I wasn't lying about that.