To think this was weird?

[zipperkz]

Had to take DS to an appointment today and we had to catch the bus. At the bus stop, a woman was there with her toddler and once we got on the bus asked where we were going, I told her the hospital and she said she also was. She then started telling me all about her child's disabilities etc, and then she asked about DS’s I told her I didn't feel comfortable telling her, she then asked if I wanted to meet up for a coffee after their appointments, I politely declined and told her we had plans.

Has anyone experienced anything like this before, I never had and it was rather odd but maybe that's just my opinion, AIBU?

Why is OP an arsehole? Op didn't want to share her child's medical information with someone she'd never met; how is that wrong? OP politely declined a coffee with a stranger again where is the problem?
Op has asked if this was an odd social experience, again I don't see why this questions earns such vitriol towards the OP? What is clear is for some people yes this is unusual social discourse and might make them feel uncomfortable. For others this would be very normal, and an everyday social interaction. Maybe it depends where a person lives as to how usual / unusual it would be.

Well living in London I can see why you might feel that way. But not swapping numbers on a bus as soon as you meet someone, I read it as a coffee straight after the appointments so either hospital cafe or nearby before they get back on the same bus.

Totally agree ^

It’s not normal to do that here either. It totally depends where you live! Lovely little village maybe it’s normal there in My part of London most people don’t really chat on this bus and if someone invited me
for coffee I would find it odd as it’s not the done thing round here.

I know this wasn't directed at me but I don't think the OP is an arsehole. I don't think she should have to share medical info or be forced to go for a coffee.

I think what people are struggling with is it being thought of as weird. It's lacking in awareness that some people do not have a support network, they are isolated because of having a child with disabilities and so try push themselves to meet people they think might be in a similar situation.

The OP didn't have to do anything she didn't feel comfortable with, obviously, but a bit of empathy before writing the woman off as strange wouldn't go amiss.

But the OP didn’t just politely turn her down she came on a social media platform to discuss how weird she thought it was. No wonder Brits have the reputation for being stand offish.

She’s probably desperately lonely. I feel so bad for her. Wish I could hug the poor woman

I would have found it a bit odd that she was over sharing so much with a stranger but the only times this has happened to me have been people trying to recruit me into their cult church

God this is the second thread this evening where the OP has been utterly miserable about someone being friendly towards them.

To add. I met up for breakfast with someone I struck up conversation with on a train platform! Had a great time talking at breakfast!

I really feel for her OP. I have three children with ASC and as a single parent it’s such a lonely place. I could cry for her to be honest and hope she makes some nice friends who understand.

I don't think it's odd.

I struck up conversation with someone when waiting for a midwife appointment at the GP surgery. I was due in May, her July. She didn't think I was strange, we exchanged numbers and became great friends, our dc are now 16 and have such a special bond. Life goes by so quick, grateful to have made this connection.

I'm in central London btw!

op i hope you are never in desperate need of a friend one day.

How sad for this woman, looking after a child with complex needs. I hope there are kinder people than OP in this world.

Some people don't feel comfortable striking up a conversation about personal topics like health problems or a child's special needs with someone who is an absolute stranger. The suggestion of meeting up afterwards on top of that would scare me off. I'd worry she was not my kind of person (an over-sharer), and would honestly just want to get away.

I'd feel sorry that the other woman if I knew for certain that she was feeling lonely, with no ulterior motives, but I don't think it's cruel or heartless to not be up for an instant friendship with someone who is on a completely different wavelength to your own.

You are not wrong for not wanting to tell someone your child's medical condition or even not wanting to meet for a coffee, she was probably just trying to reach out and is lonely and wanted to out to someone maybe in a similar position. But what's wrong is you ask strangers on the internet if it's odd. What if she is on Mumsnet and she reads this, how shit would she feel if she knows it must be about her?

It's fine to not want to discuss your child's health on the bus but I think she probably wanted to reach out to someone in a similar situation.

I don't think it's odd that she wanted to make a friend but it's fine to politely decline.

Exactly, cant understand what this poor woman did wrong.

I think she sounds nice, and it's a shame she struck up a conversation with the wrong person. I've met mum friends in all sorts of places.

The world is a cess pit of hate. No wonder I prefer my dog.

I prefer your dog too.

I don’t know about mums as I don’t have kids, but I’m also in London and have made several friends through having a dog. Other people with dogs stop and chat and yes, I have swapped numbers with them!

I don’t think she was weird. You’re not obliged to be her friend but I don’t think there was anything wrong with her trying to make a connection.

Yes that may be different as I’ve heard people say the same when they are out with their dog but again maybe it depends what part of London you live I live in a rough part where this just doesn’t happen.

She probably wanted support and thought you'd understand as you were heading to the hospital too.
Why wouldn't you give her a chance?

What a shit place we've landed in when we start thinking it's weird that a mother sees another mother at a bus stop, realises they're both going to the same place, realises they both have children with additional needs and asks if she fancies a coffee after. Poor woman was probably very lonely or thought you might understand. You don't have to meet up with her or strike a life long friendship with her but it speaks volumes about you that you think it's weird enough to lament later online.