AIBU for overreacting to comment by John Lewis

[filletofishmeal]

I was on the phone to John Lewis as they failed to deliver an item ( did not put it on their load), and as the person was processing a new delivery date he was making small talk about the reason why I was purchasing a TV. I said it was for the cricket world up, and he asked who I thought I was going to win the tournament. I replied that I am British, so am backing England. He then told me that my name does not sound British, where are my parents from?
I snapped at that point and got a bit shirty with him, as I felt it was unreasonable for him to assume I am not British just because of my surname.

He was just making conversation. Do you think he would have given your name a second thought after you hung up?

He worded it poorly though I will agree.

You saying "I'm British so support Britain" was a bit of an odd thing to say too.

but how do you know it's not just polite curiosity ? It sounds as though it may have been. I think it's sad that everyones intentions are automatically deemed racist now. He may just have been curious.

It was poorly worded but nothing to get worked up about , and FWIW I am British and I support the Indian cricket team . When did this happen anyway as the final is on Sunday , the tournament is all but over .

Yes I think you were being unreasonable. I'm as British as they come but married an Indian and took his surname. Occasionally people ask me where the name is from. I don't mind at all. They're just making conversation.

@Lmgify
One is being accepted that you’re British but with a different heritage, the other is saying you can’t be British because you’re not from here.

I''ve mixed feelings about this. I lived in Australia for a number of years in my 40s and got Australian citizenship before coming back to the UK. I certainly don't consider myself to be 'Australian' even though technically I am in a way. If I returned to Australia and someone said to me I wasn't Australian, I would agree with them.

I mean it's clearly not an example of abject racism or anything, no, but very inappropriate and an error in judgement on his part. I don't think he was being malicious or that he's the worst person ever, but it's not professional and could easily make someone feel uncomfortable.

And I say this as someone who regularly gets asked where I'm from because of my accent. FYI I moved around England and Wales a lot so mostly have a plain, generic accent but currently live somewhere with a very strong and distinctive accent. I get a lot of "you don't sound like you're from [insert a place I lived here]" so yes, I know it gets boring.

But white people are much less likely to experience racism, whether you’re English or Irish.

Typical that you find my reference to white people offensive but have made up some story assuming OP is Indian or Pakistani to justify the micro aggression to her.

We see through you, just so you know.

@BloodAndFire
White British people won't get this.

Ironic that you are profiling all 'white British people' on a thread about racism/prejudice. I am Scottish and know exactly how it feels to be 'othered' at certain times/places because I am not English.

The main point that a PP made stands - it is not racism unless you are discrimated against or people make assumptions that you possess distinct qualities as a result of being 'other' - a bit like you did with the 'White British people won't get this' comment.

I truly wonder how people make friends, learn about each other or even date these days.
You can't say /ask shit without offending folks 🙄.

How do you know he didn't have non-British heritage and wasn't trying to just make conversation? Maybe he saw your name and thought ah, never seen that name before, wonder where that originates from! My family is Irish and if I was in a situation like that and saw an Irish looking surname, it might have crossed my mind to have asked if they were Irish! It wouldn't have come from a bad place.
And did you REALLY say "im British so I'll be supporting England"? Seems a bit of a strange way to answer.

This with bells on OP. For goodness sake the poor man was trying to make nice small talk with you while you waited and you were rude ans got offended over something tiny and not offensive at all.

it's racist

YANBU

Op might be white.

Oh well that's that settled then 🙄

WTF, I was replying to someone about the cricket and no I didn’t make it up or imply the OP was either of those backgrounds. Get your head out your arse.

I also suggest you have a look into the experiences of Irish people in the UK before you make such claims. Ignorance.

@ShesThunderstorms - exactly, “I am British so I support England” - erm.. Scotland, Wales and NI?

Funny that op hasn't come back to her thread.

Get over yourself. It’s stuff like this that makes people scared to say anything in case it offends the easily offended.

@phishy I'm guessing you don't know much about the way Irish people were treated in the uk? The signs saying no blacks, no Irish, no dogs? Surely you must know about this?
My grandma was a nurse over here and had people refuse treatment from her when they heard her accent.

Why is it any time BAME talk about their experiences, people bring it back to Irish aka white people?

For you to compare the racism against black and Asian with that of Irish people is just so typically white centric it's laughable. So get your head out of your own arse.

It’s just conversation.

This 💯

Always with the white centric posts even though racism against white people in the UK is a tiny fraction.

It would be laughable if it wasn't so depressing.

Exactly. I am disgusted by that comment, my grandparents and parent have experienced a lot of discrimination based on their accents. Apparently white = racist and immune from discrimination.