AIBU for overreacting to comment by John Lewis

[filletofishmeal]

I was on the phone to John Lewis as they failed to deliver an item ( did not put it on their load), and as the person was processing a new delivery date he was making small talk about the reason why I was purchasing a TV. I said it was for the cricket world up, and he asked who I thought I was going to win the tournament. I replied that I am British, so am backing England. He then told me that my name does not sound British, where are my parents from?
I snapped at that point and got a bit shirty with him, as I felt it was unreasonable for him to assume I am not British just because of my surname.

His questions are intrusive and none of his business, even if its small talk.

I sometimes get the feeling that people are just waiting to be offended. My maiden name is Scottish but also a common Korean name, so I have had Korean people ask me about Korean lineage of which I have none.

I have also asked others about their surnames because I am genuinely interested. Are we not allowed to have curiosity anymore and want to learn about people. I honestly don’t get it.

There are surnames from many countries that are obviously not British, but doesn’t imply they are not white! The whole of Scandinavia for a start! Most of Europe, Russia...

You were over the top. He was making friendly chit chat in a clumsy way. I get asked my ethnicity all the time as I don’t look obviously anything but very clearly am something non-Caucasian. I’ve never taken offence to it.

It's this kind of nonsense that totally distracts from the real issue of racism. There are people in this currently who genuinely suffer from discrimination because of their background. This is most certainly not one those situations. You have not only made yourself look foolish on here but, more importantly, also upset some poor person who was just making polite conversation and trying to help you. Whatever happened to #bekind?!

I will find the outrage on this thread really funny if the OPs surname is something like Kowalski or Rossi or Magnusson.

My husband isn't white, he has a very English surname. It is the name of the plantation when his GGGF (I might have the number of greats wrong) was born, was owned and was also the illegitimate son of the plantation owner. We don't know if that was from a relationship or a rape. He also has a very English accent so if he made a reference about someone from the island his family came from people might think he's some white, English bloke making a racist comment but he's not white and he wasn't born in Britain and he might be about to open up a conversation about where he came from but if someone jumps to conclusions he wouldn't get the chance.

The conversation as it was stopped was skirting the edges of inappropriate. It could have gone 2 ways from there - but id put money on it descending into "you can't possibly be XYZ, where are you REALLY from" type comments if left to run further.

Bloody hell can’t people just be interested in others and where they might come from? I would have said the same type of comment. In fact i did a couple of weeks ago. I was speaking to someone with an African accent. I asked her name and it was very English. I said I had not expected an English name. I was just interested! I don’t think I’m racist. My family are mixed race. It didn’t occur to me that someone could think I was racist. I’m really interested in history and etymology and language and in people.

Good fucking god why can’t people have conversations without people taking offence? This is utter madness. poor guy at John Lewis. Also I hope your team lose whoever they are.

Gotta love a hand grenade post to start the weekend off...

You might be British but your name not.
He was interested in where your background was from. Overfriendly of course.
This stuff interests me too but I don't ask but wish I could as it's interesting.

I replied that I am British, so am backing England.

After making such a statement, I don't think the OP is in a position to complain.

Well the OP didn't come back so she's obviously taking it further 😆😆😆
TBH she sounds just like someone who would shop at John Lewis 😆

I think it was just a clumsy way of acknowledging that your surname isn't a typical British name and making conversation basically.

Yes.

Very Johnny English

Did he give you his name? I'm thinking that perhaps he is not of British heritage and assumed you were from somewhere near his family ancestors.

But so many people in agreement with her?! It’s absolutely mad. And sad.
but yes definitely a hand grenade post. And hopefully not real

But she’s British as she says- and you know how they love to complain 🍿

Huh? We are all "from" the place we are born. He didn't ask where she was from, he asked here her parents are from.

Funnily enough I used to work there and someone made a complaint about me because I put their shopping into a bag aggressively. (apparently)

LOL!

Racism

It's being friendly!

Omg! I worked for Waitrose as a teen and someone made the same complaint. It has to be the same person surely? Hopefully there isn’t more than one…

Unless there's a whole other part to this post that you can see and I can't, where the speaker went on to criticise anyone who isn't English, and then acted in a way that was detrimental to the OP, purely based on her non English sounding name, your conclusion that this is racism is the biggest most ridiculous leap I have ever read on MN, and that's saying something!!

Therefore I can only assume that you are being highly sarcastic and in a clumsy way you're telling the OP she is the one being ridiculous. Yes that must be it.

Sure love.