For welcoming Jennifer Anniston’s honesty about her struggle to have children

[RhubarbRocks]

www.bbc.co.uk/news/entertainment-arts-63576100

As someone who went though multiple rounds of unsuccessful IVF in my late 30s and early 40s it’s good to see this normalised in the news. It sometimes feels very isolating when you can’t have children (not least here when it’s sometimes questioned why childless women are here - I joined during ivf and have stayed for all the other non child related chats!)

So not really an AIBU but maybe a question/observation about the assumptions we make about whether a woman does/doesn’t have children.

Aniston! Sorry autocorrect got the better of me.

It must have been very hard for her dealing with all the speculation over the years by the media about it.

It sounds like she started trying very late and didn’t understand that fertility has a limited window. She could have adopted instead.

Honestly this will be one of the most impactful things J AN has ever done. Exposing the misogyny in Hollywood and society at large.

Since she clearly wanted children, I'm sorry that didn't work out for her. Given her wealth, I'm surprised she didn't have a child by other means.

Yes! It is bad enough having family and colleagues speculating (friends knew for me). Imagine having the press publishing articles about it - and how hurtful it must be when they talk about your ‘baby bump’ when you are just a bit bloated but desperate to be pregnant. She must have had a hard time.

There is a huge stigma attached to women who don’t have children, whatever the reason might be.

She is a very private person and I'm sure she will have wondered whether to have opened up about this.

Good for her. People think money can buy you anything (and sometimes it can - surrogacy route, which seems to be talked about more openly), but it just goes to show that at a base level, we are all human and have our struggles.

I'm so please she didn't rent a womb like so many callous others in Hollywood.

In retrospect she's probably glad she didn't have dc with bp given what happened on that plane.

I feel really sad that she’s spent most of her career being hounded about her fertility and motherhood, and that she felt she had to ‘reveal all’ about private medical issues.

Adoption made the 1st page! Inappropriate infertility bingo has started early

I feel sorry that so many cruel things have been thrown at her that she feels she needed to be honest she really didn’t

it’s no one else’s business but her own

how awful it must have been every time she was photographed she was scrutinised to see if she had gained any weight then the usually misogynistic comments of her being selfish or too concerned about weight gain

I wholeheartedly agree

'She could of adopted instead' is such a ill though out statement.

I think Kylie has suffered from he same treatment over the years sadly.

Yes!
so depressing

I’m not sure money can buy you anything in these circumstances. I have always been lucky enough to be able to work for or buy whatever I want (within the reasons of normal people!) I spent all my savings on IVF. Even if I had have more, whatever I had spent wouldn’t have been enough - it isn’t a miracle - in fact the clinic refused to continue to treat me with my own eggs. We could have gone for donor eggs and surrogacy, or adoption. But FOR US (I emphasise that as this is personal to everyone) it isn’t the same as having your own biological child. That isn’t to say it is any less than that. But it isn’t the same. We chose not to go down that route for various reasons - none of them were about money.
,

I feel for her

And even on this thread the judgement is there. Horrible.

Yes because adoption is just that easy! Pick a baby you like out of a line up, it's just like buying a hamster from pets at home.

I totally agree with all this. Horrendous. I can’t imagine how distressing it would be for her.

You beat me to it!

Maybe she didn't want to raise a child biologically related to her. It isn't compulsory for the infertile.

• unrelated

You are right that fertility has a limited window (the extent of which is unknown until it is closed). You are very wrong that adoption is a direct alternative. It has value its own right but the two things are not interchangeable.

I thought it was very brave of her to talk about it, even now after all these years it must be hard.