Skint Wife and Rich Husband

[TheSkintWife]

I have name changed for this thread.

My husband of 3 years is in a much stronger financial situation than I am. He earns a little bit more but has a lot of savings thanks to a large inheritance. The house is in both names but we're in a fairly low value area so not worth a big sum. We each pay half towards all bills and mortgage. He is earning a decent amount of interest every month on his savings whereas I'm getting into debt to try and make my share of the monthly costs.

We are married but it's been a short marriage so far and I don't want to split with him for this. Even if we were to split at a later date I wouldn't be entitled to his inheritance. We don't have children and both work.

He is really quite tight with his money and he has designer labels on all of his clothes and drives a nice car. I'm in Sainsburys clothes and knackered old Fiesta (which I love but that's not the point).

Is this how marriage should work? We were equal when we married for all those thinking I married him for his money I didn't. He inherited after marriage and I didn't know about the wealth of this relation.

You can wrap whatever fairytale layers around it that you want, at its core, marriage is the formation of a legal and economic partnership. It is a business arrangement between two people.

working together on shared economic goals should be in both of your best interests.

if you are going to continue with keeping everything separate and basically keep loving like roommates, then at the very least, I would insist on everything being done in a way that makes your budget comfortable. You shouldn’t be straining to cover half. both of you should be living the lifestyle where you are comfortable financially.

Do you feel he cherishes you OP? Does he show you in other ways?

Disgusting. DH is named on three inheritances (we’re fully aware that they’re not guaranteed due to illness etc) However, it’s treated as ‘our’ money and we’ve already discussed what we’re going to do with anything we receive. He’s never forgotten the fact that I paid off £1200 of his and his ex-wife’s debts from my inheritance when we were first together and he was on minimum wage so things work both ways. He had no way to pay it and it would have gone to debt collectors otherwise. Thankfully he’s on 5 times that wage now but it was tough back then. I also supported him during that time and arranged it so that two other creditors only took £1 a month (they had been taking £100 pcm) It was absolutely crippling him. Marriage is definitely a partnership.

Me and DH didn't just hope we would be together for life but definitely believed. We both had parents that had been married for 30 years or longer, plus aunts and uncles all with long marriages and no divorces.

Which is lovely

but surely you read the papers and grasp that given almost 1/2 end in divorce - not out if the realms of possibility to not have your stance?

Is this how marriage should work?

Not in my opinion, no. When you get married you become one, for better, for worse. Otherwise, I don't see the point.