To think if someone is four inches taller than you that is not short

[SleepDreamThinkHuge]

in relative terms?

I was talking to a friend who said he met a girl who was 5 feet 2 and he is just over 5 foot 6 she said she liked everything about him, but he is "too short for her."

I told him height is relative. For his height, someone who is between 5 feet to 5 feet 3 it is not really too short because it is still a significant difference. I have heard other stories from friends as well another guy who is about 5 feet 9 and a girl who is 5 feet 3 thinks, he is too short for her. Is it me or if someone is a few inches taller than you at least that should not be classed as short speaking in relative terms?

I'm 5'3 I prefer 6ft+ I have dated shorter men but the shortest has been 5'9 and even then I felt they were short for me. I'm shallow I am fine with that.

I know your not, I never said he was fabulous.

I'm not what?

I inferred that you think he's fabulous on account of being in a relationship with him and listing his good qualities. If you actually think he's crap, well, I'm confused but it doesn't really matter.

His height limits his options in a world where many women won't date shorter than average men. That's all.

I didn't say he was either crap or fabulous.
I listed some qualities.
I think we are just going round in circles.

His options are limited because a lot of women won't date a man of 5'8".

That's all I'm saying.

Or, you know, those women are limiting themselves. Horses for courses.

Yes, you could look at it that way. Point is, at 5'8" he is out of a lot of women's dating pool. I'm not saying that's right. I'm just saying it is.

Globally 10% of men are 6ft, 30% of men in the UK are 6ft. So who's limited.

Oh no, on the contrary I think it is right. He is actually at a serious advantage, because his height means that all of the shallow women will be eliminated, leaving him with the (apparently) very few women who may consider him for WHO he is.

Everyone, in some way.

I truly don't know why this bothers you so much. You said your partner, at 5'8", isn't limited in his options. A lot of women won't date a man of 5'8", so the fact is, he is. I'm not saying that's a good thing or a reflection on him. I'm just saying it's true.

I'm bored now.

Your still repeating what I said.
My response was originally to gap, who somehow always manages to weave some disparaging comments about male dating options.
I do think some women live in a different world sometimes.

No, I'm still disputing what you said. And if I'm only repeating it, I don't see why you need to keep repeating it again.

Actually, you contradicted yourself in your post by saying your partner didn't have limited options and then immediately going on to say that everyone had limits in their options.

A lot of women don't date men of 5'8". It's therefore a limit on options.

If it's any consolation, I'd sooner date a man of 5'8" than one of 6'2" who holds conversations like this one. It's all getting a bit surreal for me. Enjoy.

Unless you have absolutely no physical criteria whatsoever when dating (in which case, you’re in a very small minority) then you realise that this statement is also applicable to all of said criteria?

@RedAppleGirl You initially said Dp is 5ft 8…I know for a fact Dp doesn't have limited options. He has his own personal limits.

@ReneBumsWombats responded by saying that - regardless of how fabulous he may or may not be - he does have limited options, as most women would still not date him.

The two of you have been talking in circles ever since, so hopefully that helps!

Well I don't know about most women. But certainly a significant percentage. Hence, a limit on options.

Unless you have absolutely no physical criteria whatsoever when dating (in which case, you’re in a very small minority) then you realise that this statement is also applicable to all of said criteria?

Brains in jars dating astral projections. It's the future.

I have a boy who's almost certainly going to grow up to be a short man. I can only hope when he does reach adulthood the kind of 'heightism' that makes women write 'no men under 6 foot' on dating profiles will be a thing of the past.

Yeah, we can't help what physical attributes we're attracted to but cultural tastes change too, and much of it is arbitrary.

Feminism isn't meant to be a race to the bottom.

If he grows up to be confident, generous, kind, solvent, emotionally available and ready to commit, I've no doubt he'll be fine.

I think there'll come a point where speed dating and singles events - ie, meeting in person first - will make a comeback. Nobody seems to like online dating, and it's all for the same reasons.

If she's 5'3" and wants her children to be taller, she needs someone over 5'6".

Do you also hope that your son will have no physical criteria with regards to who he dates?

I’m not particularly fussed about height, but the idea that caring about height is somehow more ‘shallow’ than any other physical criteria is very weird to me.

I know an adorable couple. The woman is 6'1" and a burlesque dancer and model. The man is about 5'6" and a bit weedy and beardy.

They've been married for seven years and have just had their first child. They're nuts about each other.

Why do people not like online dating ?

Ultimately the people on online dating are the pool of people that are out there. Most people who want a relationship will be on there. Or at least a significant proportion will be.

If they can't find someone who matches their expectations then it probably says that they are too picky, rather than the clientele being too unacceptable - maybe a relationship is not for them...

I think online dating "works" if it's used to meet a broad range of people and then filter down to the ones you are interested in with a bit of chat. It's just a basic introduction plus some filter of someone who is interested in the same goal as they are - a relationship.

But the more filters we put in from time zero, the less the pool of available people it will serve up. Its not reasonable for us to expect it to deliver up a billionaire 6ft 5 inch red headed Spanish bloke with a great sense of humor and then when it doesn't complain that it isn't working.

I think the most positive thing about OLD is it puts people who actually want a relationship together in the same space. Saving all the significant embarrassment and hassle of going through that discovery process in the first place.

Agree with all of this. I’m a big fan of OLD and it’s ‘worked’ (in that, we’ve all achieved our varying aims) for me and most people within my social group.

MN appears to have a deep and abiding hatred for it, though. Which is quite interesting.

Well he does have limited options. His options are limited to women who don't mind dating a guy who isn't tall. As you say, few of us have no limitations on who we can date. But he met you, you don't mind, so all good. Nothing to complain about is there?
I get that some women are happy with shorter men. Just don't get the need to convince everyone else they should want one too.

I have no particular physical type. No particular preference for hair colour, eye colour or height really. It’s all about the overall package for me. How the individual characteristics fit together. Is that what you mean by having no physical criteria?