To think if someone is four inches taller than you that is not short

[SleepDreamThinkHuge]

in relative terms?

I was talking to a friend who said he met a girl who was 5 feet 2 and he is just over 5 foot 6 she said she liked everything about him, but he is "too short for her."

I told him height is relative. For his height, someone who is between 5 feet to 5 feet 3 it is not really too short because it is still a significant difference. I have heard other stories from friends as well another guy who is about 5 feet 9 and a girl who is 5 feet 3 thinks, he is too short for her. Is it me or if someone is a few inches taller than you at least that should not be classed as short speaking in relative terms?

@tigger1001 that’s exactly what I mean - you knew each other before hand, so personality came to the fore.

I think OLD is problematic in this respect as people get hung up on superficial things - and then people lie, which becomes the issue rather than the actual height or whatever other feature it is.

5ft 2 here, DH is 6ft 2. 5ft 6 is absolutely too short for me, relative terms or not.

When I was dating early last year, I had my filters set at 5ft 10 minimum. I'm petite and I prefer taller men.

I agree.

If all you have to go on is physical attributes then these will matter more.

It's ok to find certain things physically appealing and other things less appealing

It would be interesting to see the average height of men in online dating profiles vs. the average height of men in general in the population.

My guess would be in OLD it would be 2" taller.

I'm tiny. And I just wouldn't fancy a short man and in fact I've never dated anyone under 6ft

Of course it’s a preference, of course it’s allowed, but it doesn’t stop it from being stupid.

I will never understand the mindset that a few inches height is way more important than compatibility, values, work ethic, maturity etc. it makes zero sense to me.

I am around 5ft7, my guy is around 5ft 5 and a half. He’s the most masculine guy I’ve ever come across, and I feel significantly more protected with him than I have with any of the much taller men I have been with. He’s reached the top of multiple martial arts, and he’s very strong. He also takes no shit. The idea that height = protector is just a bit silly.

It’s not stupid. You don’t have to understand, you just have to accept that people find different attractive. That’s a good thing.

Attraction is weird, often not easily explainable. What some people find attractive does nothing for someone else.

Of course I understand attraction. What you are not understanding is a) priorities and b) how attraction in the physical sense can change when everything else is in place and you get to know someone. Particularly if it’s something arbitrary.

But I don’t care. If it limits other people, go for it!

Yes I imagine what they say in dating profiles is on average about 2” taller than the population- don’t think the actual men are taller!

Its a shame, as if I meet someone and they have clearly lied about something on their profile that’s an instant turn off. I wouldn’t swipe someone left for being 5’7” , for example, but if someone has said they’re 5’9” and turns out to be 5’7” that would put me off them.

Yes I imagine what they say in dating profiles is on average about 2” taller than the population- don’t think the actual men are taller!

That’s what the poster is saying.

if someone has said they’re 5’9” and turns out to be 5’7” that would put me off them

I honestly don’t think I’d notice a difference of two inches. I don’t think most people know how tall anyone else is (even their partners) down to the exact inch. I think my husband is roughly 5’11”, but I’ve never actually measured him.

Again with the understanding. No one else needs to ‘understand’ anything about what others find attractive. Short men will never be attractive to some people so they will never date them. Others love short men and will seek them out. Many probably just don’t care.

People having different priorities to you doesn’t make them or said priorities stupid. There is no metric wherein your priorities are right and good, and theirs less valid.

And everyone ‘limits’ themselves with regards to partner selection. Said ‘limiting’ is rather how it works, or we’d all be taking all comers.

Its not just about being a protector. There are simply some attributes that are generally considered more desirable. And not just in dating, but other aspects of life. There are loads of studies showing that tall men are seen preferably in the work place for example.
Tall for a man is what a pretty face/good body is for a woman. If you've got it you're ahead of the game. If you haven't, too bad. Your dating pool will be more limited.
Tbh, I get tired of hearing short men and their partners whinging on about it. Women didn't invent patriarchal attitudes that men should be big and strong and women small and weak. Men did. If thats a bit of an own goal for shorter men, well that's unfortunate.
They'll just need to accept they can't have every woman they might fancy, and be satisfied with the women who don't mind their height.

OTOH the people who don't lie are disadvantaged by the ones that do, especially when filters are available and people apply those filters. It's like a "lying" arms race.

For me is there is a level of acceptability in lying. So you might be able to get away with calling yourself 5'8" if you are 5'6" but not 6'.

Of course the same goes for women with posting photos of themselves when they are not the same as the photos !

My guess is for OLD that there is a level of lying where it is acceptable and it advantages you to lie (the number of matches increases and the probability of finding a match therefore increases), and a level beyond that where it doesn't (where the advantage of getting more matches is negated by the outrage felt caused by the lying on discovery).

OLD game theory. I suppose that the only thing you can say for certain is that OLD is the way it is because we (collectively) make it that way.

Yes to those posters commenting about what I said re OLD. I’m sure people who are truthful do miss out due to people “gaming”’in one way or other.

TBH I don’t bother with OLD, because I like to know someone’s personality and generally how they come across first, and not that bothered about whether I meet someone or not!

@RishisProudMum that was just an example - I just mean lying is a turn off in itself - not specifically whether you can judge two inches in height (I’m 5’6” so I think I’d notice the diff between just slightly taller than me and three inches taller).

However, I have the most embarrassingly full on crush on someone famous who is short (won’t say who) so this might be influencing my posts a bit!

I agree with what you’ve said re gamification.

On the height issue, I probably wasn’t super clear as to my point. Sorry. Speaking personally, I’m 5’7” and if a man is taller than me, I’m never actually clear on how much taller he is unless it’s massive (I’d definitely notice that a 6’2” guy was way taller, for example). So, as most men who lie about their height on OLD add circa two inches (according to the studies I’ve seen), Mr 5’8” claiming to be 5’10” would probably get away with it. That’s probably what these chaps are banking on, I think.

I like to know someone’s personality and generally how they come across first, and not that bothered about whether I meet someone or not!

I think OLD is great for this!

🤣🤣
I'm 5ft 8, Dp is 5ft 8. I like confidence, values, and a good bod. I know for a fact Dp doesn't have limited options. He has his own personal limits.
Most people have limited options, height is one factor, earnings, financial responsibility for a man, weight is a factor for a women, as is age.
Personally I don't have a strict criteria, I'm a little my open which gives me more options.

Good for you 👏

It’s interesting what some people have said re the preference for height being about instinctively looking for a “protector” and associating height with being well equipped to protect the family etc

I think my instinct is look for some evidence of a lack of selfishness - something I failed in utterly as my exh turned out to be the most selfish man alive once kids came along. Someone who, due to lack of complete selfishness, will put their family before themselves. So I think it’s part of the same instinct family as those who want a protector. I think this is on some level why some women like men to at least offer to pay on a first date - I don’t think that works as an indicator though because selfish men can easily fake a little bit of generosity in the first weeks and months. Just my musings!

This poster is definitely the 5’6 man lol. There are at least 3 other threads from them all about height ( specifically a 5’6 man)…..

@Cheesyfootballs01 ha ha, I missed that

It’s sparked some conversations that I find quite interesting though, just in terms of knowing how people tick

And obviously I’m not bothered what the consensus is as I’m not a man of any height!

Do they also have to accept they’ll earn less in the workplace, as studies indicate? Or do their best to challenge it and get labelled as having a Napoleon complex?

Napoleon was actually average height for his time btw……

Of course he has limited options, as evidenced by the number of women on here who would find him too short to date. Everyone has "limited" options. None of us could have any person in the world. I'm sure he's rejected someone in the past too.

Doesn't mean he's not fantastic or your relationship isn't great. But he has limited options. Everyone has.

Your just repeating what I've said.
Preferences for dating are acceptable whatever and whomever.

No, I'm disputing your assertion that your 5'8" partner, as fabulous as I am sure he is, does not have limited options. A significant number of women won't date a man of that height and many have said so here. It may be their loss, but that's still a limit to his options.