I agree with the stance of what looks stupid to one person may look lush to another. That is not the point here.
I can look at someone in the street covered in piercings and think wow.. we would that obviously attractive man/woman do that to themselves and in my subjective view make themselves look deeply unattractive. Yet I can also understand that to many people it does the exact opposite and makes the person an object of extreme desire to many. Horses for courses.
However, this is not about subjective opinion of the many. This is about sexual desire between spouses. People get together with their other halves initially because they find them sexually attractive. Then following (for want of a better word ) courtship, they may find the surface attraction extends to character making it likely a relationship that will continue if these feelings are mutual. That's how relationships last. That's how love begins and develops.
If after a time that person changes that initial attractive persona be it in physical appearance or character then there is a very strong chance the sexual desire will diminish. BUT that has a HUGE amount to do with intent.
If my husband developed (God forbid) diabetes and ended up losing a leg, having kidney problems and subsequent ED.. would I leave him ? Hell no. It's not a choice . My love for him would mean I would support him and care for him and continue to love him. Likewise, should I develop breast cancer and need a mastectomy, would he fuck off with the next woman with breasts . No of course not. But when your spouse deliberately goes out of their way to make a radical change to their appearance out of CHOICE, that renders the partner sexually turned off, then of course it's her choice not to have sex with him.
What would be hugely unfair is the idea NOT to tell him. They are both adults with autonomous behaviour. To refuse sex but not to tell him why is an awful way to go and leaves everyone confused. The wife for failing to understand his lack of Will to change and the husbands lack of understanding as to why his wife no longer fancies him.
It's NOT an ultimatum. It's a statement of fact. I hope everyone on this forum agrees that no one. Married or not has the right to expect sex. Or indeed is required to have sex when they don't want to. All Topazyouth needs to do is state her truth. His new look turns her off. Her husband is then a complete liberty to make any decision he likes based on that knowledge.
He may well find his 'quasi Viking-homeless-Ian Beale' look is liberating and so important to him that it is more important to him than his wife and marriage. Or he may be mortified that she is turned off and decide a wife who fancies him is a much more life fulfilling situation and decide to get a shave and a haircut.
His choice at the end of the day. We none of us have control over what we find attractive. It's one of the few things where are basic biological instincts are still very much in play.