Page 9 | Adults only weddings - Yay or Nay

Knittingpandas · 2022-11-06T21:51:34+00:00

I am not very familiar with the concept - it only happened once to be invited in such a wedding and I have also heard of another. But how is it possible to invite adults only? I mean if parents go to the wedding then who is supposed to look after toddlers, babies etc. ? Is it a way to say to people “we invite you but please don’t come?” We have no family/support around and this invite sounds a bit weird and discriminatory … If you want someone to share the joy and happiness with you then you must welcome his other half and, of course, children under 18 years old! Where are they supposed to stay while their parents celebrate with you?

EmeraldShamrock1 · 06/11/2022 23:29

TrollAlarm9999 WTAF ARE YOU AT.

MY EYE'S 👀..

FFS.

Peashoots · 06/11/2022 23:29

Lampshadered · 06/11/2022 23:27

How sad is that your kids will find out what a wedding is in their adulthood …

Completely agree - it's why I bring my 6 year old clubbing. How will she know how to behave if the first time she goes to one is as an 18 year old? It's important to give children these experiences🙄

😂

surreygirl1987 · 06/11/2022 23:29

For me weddings are a celebration and it seems weird to exclude family from that just because they aren't adults?

So... they should go to my 40th in a pub? Or a hen do? Or to my NYE house party? It is a celebration but it's perfectly fine if the bride and groom don't want kids there. Not weird at all - your view is weird though!

Shelby2010 · 06/11/2022 23:30

Surely if you & children are invited to a wedding but you would prefer to go without them, then you decline the invitation on their behalf?! It’s not compulsory to take your children if you don’t want to!

I’ve done this before for a local wedding, because quite frankly a 3 course meal with speeches is stressful with a toddler. However, when the wedding involved 2 nights away due to distance, then there is no way we could/would have gone without her.

Obviously it’s the bride & groom’s choice, but it really shows whether they want you there as a guest or are more hooked on their idea of an instagram-perfect wedding.

surreygirl1987 · 06/11/2022 23:30

Completely agree - it's why I bring my 6 year old clubbing. How will she know how to behave if the first time she goes to one is as an 18 year old? It's important to give children these experiences🙄

Hahaha 🤣

surreygirl1987 · 06/11/2022 23:31

Obviously it’s the bride & groom’s choice, but it really shows whether they want you there as a guest or are more hooked on their idea of an instagram-perfect wedding.

That's very narrow minded. Not everyone who has an adult free wedding does it because they are obsessed by social media you know! I'm not even on Instagram 🤦‍♀️

surreygirl1987 · 06/11/2022 23:33

I would never want a “sterile” wedding that everyone is silent and there is no “real life” in it

Yes... because the adults I know don't talk, and are practically dead 🙄 obviously the only way to have any fun is to invite small children...

PurpleButterflyWings · 06/11/2022 23:34

I hate child-free weddings, and will actively avoid them. I will never go to a child-free wedding, and happily decline. Even though I have no school age kids now, I did have, and I missed a few weddings when my 2 were kids, because they didn't allow children.

I think it's snobby, non-inclusive, and rude - excluding peoples children. As you say @Knittingpandas who is supposed to look after the children if it's a relative having the wedding, or a friend/acquaintance/neighbour etc, who is inviting people in your family too? SOMEone ends up missing out, to look after the children. Horrible.

EmeraldShamrock1 · 06/11/2022 23:34

@TrollAlarm9999 You have ruined the thread with your stupid troll alarm.
I cannot be bothered scrolling back to report.
It hurt the first time.
I've never seen anything as ridiculous..😐

Peashoots · 06/11/2022 23:34

surreygirl1987 · 06/11/2022 23:31

Obviously it’s the bride & groom’s choice, but it really shows whether they want you there as a guest or are more hooked on their idea of an instagram-perfect wedding.

That's very narrow minded. Not everyone who has an adult free wedding does it because they are obsessed by social media you know! I'm not even on Instagram 🤦‍♀️

Agreed. You know what, some people just find little kids irritating and find it stressful when they’re zooming around everywhere and being loud. Sorry, but yes OP, this applies to your precious little angel too.
the bride and groom are entitled to a relaxing and enjoyable wedding day. You thinking your kid singing loudly through the speeches is adorable doesn’t supersede that.

hellosunshineagainxxx · 06/11/2022 23:38

surreygirl1987 · 06/11/2022 23:29

For me weddings are a celebration and it seems weird to exclude family from that just because they aren't adults?

So... they should go to my 40th in a pub? Or a hen do? Or to my NYE house party? It is a celebration but it's perfectly fine if the bride and groom don't want kids there. Not weird at all - your view is weird though!

A wedding is different and you know it

Mariposista · 06/11/2022 23:40

We had to hand pick. We have friends whose kids are a big part of our lives and we know their presence will make our day special and not give us stress. However some of our friends, while great people, are crap at parenting and their kids can’t behave, so only the parents’ names are on the invitation.

Mumof3teenagers · 06/11/2022 23:42

Close family ie: nieces and nephews, should always be included in weddings.

Friends children are different, I wouldn’t expect my children to be invited to my friends wedding but I would to my siblings wedding.

Original poster

Knittingpandas · 06/11/2022 23:43

So roughly 30% of the people in this thread say that they are not happy with child free weddings.

Those of you that you preferred to go for such a wedding just keep in mind that 30% of your guests (one third of them!) is unhappy that you excluded their kids.

Your wedding it’s not only about you, it’s not your honeymoon! Its also about the people that you chose to share your happiness with. And ⅓ of them is feeling excluded and insulted in a way…. If these words sound too much, then surely not happy!

Food for thought

OP posts:

123ROLO · 06/11/2022 23:43

I think it says more about your ability to socialise with other adults if you think the absence of children is "sterile" and "silence".

Child free and child friendly weddings have very different vibes.

Child friendly ive been too all kept very low key, cheesy pop music, sweet selections, dance floor filled mostly with children sliding on their knees and the parents finding it funny.

Child free I have found to be a bit more rowdy, wider selection of music, people dancing like absolute loons, picking the bride and groom up, maybe a few inappropriate jokes in the speeches etc, mostly I've found them a really good opportunity to catch up with people and have a laugh...far, far from quiet.

Most of the people I know if they are invited to a wedding just automatically arrange childcare before even enquiring if its child free, I'm getting married next year and I've been asked by the ones with children to make it childfree - they spend every day, evening, weekend entertaining their kids, a wedding is a night off from mum and dad duties and time for them to mingle with the grown ups!

Peashoots · 06/11/2022 23:44

Knittingpandas · 06/11/2022 23:43

So roughly 30% of the people in this thread say that they are not happy with child free weddings.

Those of you that you preferred to go for such a wedding just keep in mind that 30% of your guests (one third of them!) is unhappy that you excluded their kids.

Your wedding it’s not only about you, it’s not your honeymoon! Its also about the people that you chose to share your happiness with. And ⅓ of them is feeling excluded and insulted in a way…. If these words sound too much, then surely not happy!

Food for thought

your wedding is not only about you
hahahhahaa
yes it is you fool.

LuckySantangelo35 · 06/11/2022 23:45

hellosunshineagainxxx · 06/11/2022 23:38

A wedding is different and you know it

Show quote history

@Hellosunshine1993

nope it isn’t

LuckySantangelo35 · 06/11/2022 23:46

Knittingpandas · 06/11/2022 23:43

So roughly 30% of the people in this thread say that they are not happy with child free weddings.

Those of you that you preferred to go for such a wedding just keep in mind that 30% of your guests (one third of them!) is unhappy that you excluded their kids.

Your wedding it’s not only about you, it’s not your honeymoon! Its also about the people that you chose to share your happiness with. And ⅓ of them is feeling excluded and insulted in a way…. If these words sound too much, then surely not happy!

Food for thought

@Knittingpandas

hahah

id be happy for that 30 % not to bother coming to
my wedding

they would be booooooorring!!

Snugglemonkey · 06/11/2022 23:48

LuckySantangelo35 · 06/11/2022 23:18

@Snugglemonkey

do u literally never go anywhere without your partner and kids then?

for example.,,girly nights out with your pals to the pub… your kids wouldn’t be welcome.

so do u just….not go??

Show quote history

I actually do not go many places without them, as most of our socialising is with other families. However, a girly night out wouldn't be anything like as expensive, time consuming or difficult to arrange as going to a wedding without them. I would not ever go on a girly night out that involved a hotel stay without them, plus then I would not need childcare. So it is very different.

PriamFarrl · 06/11/2022 23:48

Knittingpandas · 06/11/2022 23:43

So roughly 30% of the people in this thread say that they are not happy with child free weddings.

Those of you that you preferred to go for such a wedding just keep in mind that 30% of your guests (one third of them!) is unhappy that you excluded their kids.

Your wedding it’s not only about you, it’s not your honeymoon! Its also about the people that you chose to share your happiness with. And ⅓ of them is feeling excluded and insulted in a way…. If these words sound too much, then surely not happy!

Food for thought

One third of the people on a parenting website. One third of people who mostly have children themselves. So two thirds don’t mind a child free wedding then? Normally you go with the majority.

Lampshadered · 06/11/2022 23:49

Food for thought

@Knittingpandas so 70% of guests would be delighted with a child free wedding.

Although the way to ensure a 100% happiness level at a wedding is to allow people to refuse the invitation if it doesn't suit them to come. If only weddings weren't compulsory!

whumpthereitis · 06/11/2022 23:49

Knittingpandas · 06/11/2022 23:43

So roughly 30% of the people in this thread say that they are not happy with child free weddings.

Those of you that you preferred to go for such a wedding just keep in mind that 30% of your guests (one third of them!) is unhappy that you excluded their kids.

Your wedding it’s not only about you, it’s not your honeymoon! Its also about the people that you chose to share your happiness with. And ⅓ of them is feeling excluded and insulted in a way…. If these words sound too much, then surely not happy!

Food for thought

Lol! My wedding was an event my husband and I organized and paid for. It was indeed ‘about us’, and we decided what we wanted for the day. It was childfree, casual, and I’m pretty sure it didn’t appear on Instagram. Funny, that.

you may be disappointed that you can’t attend a wedding with your children, but that’s life. It’s entirely your problem, and it’s up to you whether you want to brood on it or get the fuck over it. I can assure you the couple aren’t sitting there thinking about you. You don’t get to dictate to other people that they must accommodate your preferences. For someone who doesn’t want to be forced, you seem quite keen on telling others what they should do.

PriamFarrl · 06/11/2022 23:50

It's not one evening. We got invited to a childfree wedding this summer which was 6 hours drive away, started at 12.00pm on the Saturday and went on until late that night. We would have had to stay Friday and Saturday nights and find someone who could babysit from Friday pm to Sunday pm. Fuck that

So if you had taken your children you would have had to subject them to 12 hours total in the car, a boring wedding and the added cost of them in a hotel room.

borderterrierr · 06/11/2022 23:50

@Knittingpandas are you paying for the wedding? Are you paying £70 per person regardless of the age of the person attending? No? Didn't think so. Just don't go. You going with your baby would change the vibe.

No one wants babies there. Another friend demanded to bring their kid to a friend of mines wedding, it had a burlesque event during it. Naked women. Do you think that's appropriate for kids? No.
She was asked to leave when she turned up with her kid. Totally ruined the vibe

PhilomenaPringle · 06/11/2022 23:50

Obviously it’s the bride & groom’s choice, but it really shows whether they want you there as a guest or are more hooked on their idea of an instagram-perfect wedding

I've been to several child free weddings. Not one of them has been instagrammed or whatever you call it. One of them didn't even have an official photographer. Just asked people to send her what they'd taken on their phones.
The idea worked out better than I expected.