Adults only weddings - Yay or Nay

[Knittingpandas]

I am not very familiar with the concept - it only happened once to be invited in such a wedding and I have also heard of another.

But how is it possible to invite adults only? I mean if parents go to the wedding then who is supposed to look after toddlers, babies etc. ?

Is it a way to say to people “we invite you but please don’t come?”

We have no family/support around and this invite sounds a bit weird and discriminatory … If you want someone to share the joy and happiness with you then you must welcome his other half and, of course, children under 18 years old! Where are they supposed to stay while their parents celebrate with you?

I would never want a “sterile” wedding that everyone is silent and there is no “real life” in it.

I don't suppose there are many people who do, but what has this got to do with the conversation ?
This doesn't describe any of the hundreds of child free parties I have attended throughout my life. why do you think people would be silent ? Why do you think there is no life in a group of adult letting their hair down and celebrating the marriage of their friends or relatives ?

@user1474315215

nope!

weddings are about two people and two people only - the BRIDE and the GROOM

Ok … fair. I appreciate that there are many different views and that fine because this is what democracy is.

I still find it rude and non-welcoming to force parents and not let them choose what to do with their kids but many don’t think like this.

I personally find more annoying drunk adults that behave like kids than kids themselves

If you're one of the posters that think children bring "life" to a wedding and that adult only weddings are sterile, do you bring your kids on nights out because the thought of chatting, drinking and dancing with your friends and colleagues seems cold and morbid to you?

All of you that you have child free weddings, I am sure you have memories as kids from weddings.

Nope. Because my parents went to weddings that were for adults - or as far as I am aware. I certainly never went to any weddings as a child. I managed to work out what a wedding was as an adult still.

@FelicityFlops are you suggesting everyone here who prefer child free weddings are upper class? What exactly do you consider upper class? Landed gentry, royalty?

I didn’t answer the AIBu as I believe that children should be invited to family weddings but it’s not necessary to invite friends children.

I would be pretty disheartened if my children weren’t invited to their aunt or uncles wedding.

@Snugglemonkey

do u literally never go anywhere without your partner and kids then?

for example.,,girly nights out with your pals to the pub… your kids wouldn’t be welcome.

so do u just….not go??

That's fine, but as you can see from the poster you're replying to, and several others, not inviting very close family children to your wedding is likely to have permanent implications for your ongoing relationship with them. So it may be 'simple' but it's also quite a significant statement.

It is intended to imply people who wish for child free weddings are boring and lifeless. Quite the opposite in my opinion-nothing more boring than someone who’s children are their entire personality. I maintained my own personality outside being “mum” after I had kids.

@Grumpybutfunny

news flash!!

for most people money is finite! Most of us cannot afford to just “pay for more places”

also lots of people wouldn’t want kids “running around” the place. For lots of people that wouldn’t be cute or charming or whatever. It’s a day where kids should not be centre stage, the bride and groom should be the key focus

Fuck off @TrollAlarm9999. Report it, don't fuck up the feed foe everyone trying to read the thread

Don’t be so melodramatic. Just because your child hasn’t been invited to one wedding of someone you don’t know doesn’t mean that all weddings will become some mysterious affair that children talk about in hushed tones.

I would invite the DC of immediate family (siblings) and very very close friends.

I definitely wouldn't invite the majority of guests to come with their DC.

It would quickly turn to chaos.

I find this thread hilarious.
Bar my siblings weddings my children were not invited to any other wedding we’ve been invited too. In some cases arrangements were made and others we had to decline.
OP you’re being super dramatic - like a one year old with its toys been taken off.

I mean an ex colleague that hasn’t been in touch in ages - that’s an easy sorry we can’t make it for me

We had kids at pur wedding this year it was lovely. Had about 10 ranging from 6 months to teen but most were under 5. For me weddings are a celebration and it seems weird to exclude family from that just because they aren't adults?

We are going to a child free wedding this weekend and tbh is a nightmare as we don't have reliable childcare so will have to leave half way through. Not everyone has a support network. What I hate most though is the couple dressed it up as a favour, no I like my child but also if I was having a rare night off it would be to do something of my choosing lol

Mine was child free. I love adult only weddings. I never take my children to weddings, even if they are invited.

How sad is that your kids will find out what a wedding is in their adulthood …

Completely agree - it's why I bring my 6 year old clubbing. How will she know how to behave if the first time she goes to one is as an 18 year old? It's important to give children these experiences🙄

The only child at our wedding was my 18 month old niece. Just looking at the group photo and one couple had four children but apart from them none of our friends and family had children. The couple with 4 were grateful for the break.

My niece recently got married and she had her nephew aged about 18 months too and no other children.

You don’t have to go. I’ve turned down weddings because of childcare, distance etc. Nobody cared, including me

I agree. This idea that the b&g will be pissed off that people who lack childcare can't come I think is completely erroneous. I had a childfree wedding and to be quite honest there were a couple of people I fully expected wouldn't come.
They did manage to get childcare so all was well. But I wouldn't have been pissed off or angry, or even slightly put out had they said no thank you.
As pp has said above. Nobody cares as much as you think they do.

So, this is what I really don’t get.
just decline the invite? If it’s a real hardship for you to attend, and you aren’t looking forward to it, why go? If a couple wants to have a child free wedding that’s fine, they need to accept that some people won’t be able to attend.
don’t go and then act like a martyr for it?