Adults only weddings - Yay or Nay

[Knittingpandas]

I am not very familiar with the concept - it only happened once to be invited in such a wedding and I have also heard of another.

But how is it possible to invite adults only? I mean if parents go to the wedding then who is supposed to look after toddlers, babies etc. ?

Is it a way to say to people “we invite you but please don’t come?”

We have no family/support around and this invite sounds a bit weird and discriminatory … If you want someone to share the joy and happiness with you then you must welcome his other half and, of course, children under 18 years old! Where are they supposed to stay while their parents celebrate with you?

Or they could have an adult celebration with their friends and family.

your post is a total non-sequitur. Not wanting children doesn’t mean you have to be in your own in silence. I honestly am not sure why you would think those are the two options.

Agreed. That was a very strange post.

“Discriminatory and bizarre” 🤣 Some people just don’t like children at weddings. I am getting married shortly and no children are invited. 2 out of the last 3 weddings l have been at, then l was ill afterwards from catching lurgies from other people’s children. A friend of mine caught hand, foot and mouth at her own wedding then was quite unwell. Thats before you even get started on the behaviour. No thanks! When people have children then compromises needed to be made and you can’t do all the things you used to do. If you don’t want to leave your children with family or babysitters then that’s your prerogative. But you can’t just bring your children

I still chuckle at the wedding l went to years ago which was child free. Grooms cousin chose to ignore this and brought her 3 children anyway. She got some evil looks from other guests who followed the no children rule. Children had nowhere to sit and no food, as they weren’t invited.

So people’s weddings are about educating children now?

i’m not sure why, on these threads, it’s franed that weddings that include children are somehow more authentic than childfree ones, that are merely exercises in narcissism that MUST be choreographed for Instagram. Like the only reason you could want an adult-only event is for self aggrandizement and the the aesthetic.

if you like children at weddings then invite them to yours. If you don’t, then have a childfree day. It really is that fucking simple.

Right. So if it's fairly common, then it's not very uncommon for guests to be expected to travel a very long way and stay for 2 nights. Which is exactly the point I was making - that very often an invitation to a childfree wedding is not 'an evening off', but expecting you to find childcare for at least 2 full days.

I still can’t understand the reasoning for their decision and it still hurts when I think of it today and it has tainted our relationship with them for sure.

Not sure you get the concept of what selective means. You can have hundreds of people to your wedding and still be selective in who you invite. I'd educate yourself before you start throwkng around big words of more than one syllable around, like discrimination and selective.
And my god, yes, you come across as angry...and bitter and resentful and judgemental and unreasonable and just a tad unhinged, tbh

Sure, if that’s the type of wedding they want then they absolutely can. If they want a wedding where they invite a huge amount of people to an adult-only event then they can do that too.

If you don’t like it then by all means don’t go. Your dislike of children not being invited is your problem, not anyone else’s 🤷🏻‍♀️

All of you that you have child free weddings, I am sure you have memories as kids from weddings.

How sad is that your kids will find out what a wedding is in their adulthood …

They will only know from movies what happens in a wedding.

Really disappointing for our next generation

I think weddings should be about community and family. It's mean spirited to exclude children. Sure they can be annoying, but so can people in their 20s, 30s etc

The reasoning for their decision was because the hosts didn't want children at their celebration. Its that simple! My nieces and nephews won't be at my wedding, but neither will my own child after the ceremony!

I have memories of being bored shitless at family weddings as a kid.

You need to get all the grips

No actually I have no memories of weddings as a child as I wasn't invited to any. My parents attended loads though, and managed to enjoy celebrations without their 2 children tagging along. Do I feel like I missed out? Absolutely not. Do I know now what weddings are? Yes I'm not stupid! I attended my first wedding in my late teens!

Oh well.

I was invited to some weddings as a kid, and others were childfree ones that my parents attended alone.

it’s a ceremony to join two people who get to decide how they want their day to be. It’s not a learning opportunity for children the couple are obliged to provide.

I had a child free wedding much to the dismay of a couple of my family members. It was fantastic and so relaxed. I had no kids at the time and did not want the stress, hassle or expense of other peoples kids at my wedding day.

Me and DH now have 3 kids and I would still prefer to attend a child free wedding. I have had to recently decline a wedding invite from a friend as can't get an overnight babysitter (to far away not to go overnight). If it had been local I would have booked and paid the babysitter we use and enjoyed every child free moment of it.

Kids at a wedding change the dynamic massively. Toddlers and young kids running around the dance floor while drink adults stumble around and stressed parents try stop them or worse just ignore them. They then get over tired and grumpy. Young babies would be the only exception I would have made.

What? Why do you think this person is spending his weekend with children?

I Completely agree.

This!!
We eloped and just had photographer and musician as our guests. Bloody loved it. Each to their own - as anyone healthy would tell you - but of course it hasn’t stopped people judging us! Yawn.

I have no childhood memories of weddings. I was taken to two before I was a year old, and then none until I was 25. There just weren't any in the family for all that time. Still managed to figure out how to behave at them, like any other social occasion! Unlike many MNers, I love a good wedding, kids present or not!

I've said it before on here, but I had no kids at my wedding, because there weren't any amongst my family and friends. We certainly weren't sitting around in silence wishing there was a toddler knee-sliding across the floor! If we had the same adult guest list now, we'd have about 30 kids, which would obviously mean a completely different (more expensive) day.

Well maybe if the current generation of parents actually parented correctly and let their little darlings ruin the most special time of a couple’s life then they might get more invites

There is no way my parents would let me run wild or scream my head off at a wedding which is why I got invited over and over again.

*and didn’t let

I was really sniffy about them (privately with OH) until DC were toddlers then I finally went to one without a babe in arms and have to say ok all turned around on the subject. They're bloody brilliant.

I've been so time amazing family friendly weddings, relaxed and everyone involved, it seems more natural but it's way more fun to be child free for a night than the one wrangling over tired over stimulated kids whilst everyone around you gets pissed.

Didn't you know that weddings have become a class thing (again)?
In years gone by, the "upper" classes would certainly have had "child-free weddings" in the sense that there were nannies etc. to deal with the children. They also had evening dances so that family retainers and estate staff could celebrate.
This has now "trickled down" to the lower demographics (who do not have nannies etc.).
Personally I have never been to a wedding that excluded children, because isn't the whole point of getting married to have children and bring them up in a community?
I do remember, in the early 60s, being looked after by my mother's cousin for the day, whilst our parents were at a wedding with no children (very rare at the time). Equally around the same time or slightly earlier, my brother and I (I was 4, he was 18 months) attended our aunt's wedding as the only children.
Possibly, in those days, weddings were more traditional than today's piss ups or instagram fests?