Adults only weddings - Yay or Nay

[Knittingpandas]

I am not very familiar with the concept - it only happened once to be invited in such a wedding and I have also heard of another.

But how is it possible to invite adults only? I mean if parents go to the wedding then who is supposed to look after toddlers, babies etc. ?

Is it a way to say to people “we invite you but please don’t come?”

We have no family/support around and this invite sounds a bit weird and discriminatory … If you want someone to share the joy and happiness with you then you must welcome his other half and, of course, children under 18 years old! Where are they supposed to stay while their parents celebrate with you?

Bad things happen within families too. Rare but just as rare as murdering nurses or friends

As you say maybe food for thought for you is other people like different things to you and that includes having a life outside of being a parent

@Knittingpandas

aye can deffo tell you’ve never been a party animal!

do you go out with your mates for a night out and leave your kids with your husband at all? Maybe that would be good for you

Most weddings I've been to here in Ireland have been child free besides immediate family, most people have access to childcare for a few hours 💁

OP you talk as though 100% of people don't want children at their wedding...that's not the case.
At the end of the day it's their budget & big day, so it's their choice who they invite.
If you don't want to go without your child, then just don't go. It's really not worth getting so bent out of shape about.

@LuckySantangelo35 you made me laugh! Yes, I go out and I trust my kids with their dad

We got married later in life. So all our friends had kids. Some of my husband's friends have 6 children each. We invited our siblings children but they were in their 20s and one late teen who was a bridesmaid. We have close relationships with them all and they're very dear to us. A couple of friends who just had babies asked and were allowed to bring their babies. We had 100 seats and they didn't require seats. 2 other couples brought their children but had their nannies watch them in a room close to the main hall then joined us to dance and eat in the evening.
It was fun and we all had a good time.
I won't ever require anyone to invite me or my children to their event even though I might like us all to attend and really except it's family I don't see the point.

OP, please stop saying "food for thought" as if you're the Dalai Llama.

Can I ask when you'll be taking nightclubs to court for discrimination on the basis of age?

Very common from where I am from to have child free weddings (France). Also have been to five Italian wedding and they were also child free.

Child free weddings are exponentially better. i have been to many weddings and child free is the way

@HerMajestysRoyalCoven weddings and night clubs are not the same. Weddings are family celebrations! It doesn’t make sense to compare them

They are a celebration of the bride and groom. Nobody else.

Weddings are whatever the couple wants them to be

😂The kind of adult behaviour I like to see at a wedding

You think it's discriminatory to exclude people on the basis of age and yet you're fine with nightclubs doing it because you don't want to go to one.

Precisely the same as everyone posting here who thinks it's OK to have a childfree wedding because they want one.

Op to be fair I think you're a bit deluded.

a) most people will use a babysitter or childcare arrangements,
b) many cultures have childfree weddings

I can truly think of nothing worse than having the children of everyone I know at a wedding. I think that the children of immediate relations should be invited (neices nephews) but absolutely wouldn't occur to me to include the children of my friends. My children have been to the wedding of their aunts and uncles and no others. They really haven't missed out and I've never wanted them there. Children at weddings are unecessary

You really can’t trust 100% anyone apart from close family, let alone trust your babies with a stranger just for you to have a fun night out

OK, this isn't really about childfree weddings.

OP, we only have one life; it shouldn't be feared.

Exactly! The OP has no concept that their idea of a wedding is different to other people’s. I find it hard to believe that there are people out there who have this level of entitlement and no comprehension that others think differently to them. A wedding is to celebrate two people joining together (this doesn’t necessarily mean the families of both people coming together too), the same way a birthday is to celebrate a person getting a year older. Let’s not dictate what people can and can’t do on the day they are paying for.

@Knittingpandas

yeah but they’re not!

they are a celebration of the BRIDE and GROOM , no one else

it is THEIR day - so what they want goes

do you really not get that?

not everything has to be ‘family, family, faaaaaaamily!! 😩’

I don't mind them either way. But I totally understand people not wanting kids at their wedding & would respect it & have done in the past.
I have been at weddings with kids though & it's the parents that are the issue. I find in the last 20 years or so parents are getting more & more entitled & think the world revolves around their little ones. I was once at a Wedding where a toddler guest ran onto the altar & was jumping up & down. Parents thought it was hilarious. No one else did. Eventually the priest got very cross & asked the parents to take him down. They were annoyed they'd been asked to actually parent their child. It was the most self centred thing I've ever seen.

When we go married we didn't do automatic plus ones. Friends who we knew were single didn't get a plus one, friends/family we weren't sure about I asked (and they said they were happy to come without their non significant other) and colleagues bar one whose DH I knew, were all single invites.

We had a big ish wedding but adding plus ones to single friends and family would have meant not inviting people we knew and ultimately would have probably meant not inviting colleagues (we worked together so it helped that there was only one work place to think about).

I would only invite a plus one I didn't know if said person didn't know others at my wedding. For example, one of my bridesmaids is very shy and doesn't really know my family at all. But only did I invite her BF, I also invited her parents (who I didn't know well but had known since primary school) just so that she had people around her.

We had a few kids at ours, but not in the ceremony.

I remember a friends wedding where you could barely hear the vows etc over the sound of kids chatting and running around the church. It's not their fault - its boring for a kid, and the parents should have taken them out! We knew one of the kids would have run amok and his parents would have let him - and didn't want our ceremony ruined by that!

I think the rise of childfree weddings is partly related with the rise of entitled parents. As a kid at a wedding I would simply have been taken out if I was disrupting things - not ignored so my DPs didn't miss anything! Plus the couple tend to pay for it themselves these days, so actually have the choice- hooray!

When my kids were small I enjoyed having some adult only social time. A bride and groom should be able to choose who they want at the wedding and if invites go out with weeks to spare then parents of kids should be able to find a sitter or don't go.

I think that it is exactly this level of entitlement shown by the OP that causes people to not invite children

The “you must invite my children” lot will very likely be the same ones that think it’s cute for their kids to “just be kids” even if it’s ruining the B&G’s big moment.

When we go married we didn't do automatic plus ones. Friends who we knew were single didn't get a plus one, friends/family we weren't sure about I asked (and they said they were happy to come without their non significant other) and colleagues bar one whose DH I knew, were all single invites.

when I got married 32 years ago it wasn’t considered a huge insult to only be invited to the evening do, and in that case it was normal for the invite to include a plus one.

Money. It is more respectful to cut from your flowers, decorations, invitations and other stupid things than to invite people and force them to find a solution and triangle the circle in order to attend your wedding

Nobody is being forced to find a solution. If you can't come, you can't come.
Fine, and perfectly understandable. Nobody will mind.