Adults only weddings - Yay or Nay

[Knittingpandas]

I am not very familiar with the concept - it only happened once to be invited in such a wedding and I have also heard of another.

But how is it possible to invite adults only? I mean if parents go to the wedding then who is supposed to look after toddlers, babies etc. ?

Is it a way to say to people “we invite you but please don’t come?”

We have no family/support around and this invite sounds a bit weird and discriminatory … If you want someone to share the joy and happiness with you then you must welcome his other half and, of course, children under 18 years old! Where are they supposed to stay while their parents celebrate with you?

I think you’ll find it depends on the people, the close connection, the cost, size of venue and whether the people invited can get babysitters.

My sister was invited to 3 family child free weddings. She went to two with children. The thing with family weddings is her babysitters are also invited (our parents). The closer the relationships the more comfortable she felt asking.

Just ask them if you can bring them. If they’re budget doesn’t allow, RSVP a no. It’s their wedding after all.

Weddings are expensive. Sometimes not even partners can be invited.

It's individual choice but then don't whinge if people don't go. I have seen threads where nephew's and nieces aren't invited and the siblings then not going is seen as unreasonable which is ridiculous.

The answer depends on wether you are celebrating your marriage with your nearest and dearest or are going all out for the staged, instagram perfect circus.

Well that is rather extreme.

I have kids and give me a child free wedding any day. There is always some arsehole who thinks it's "precious" and "adorable" when their kids interrupt the first dance or shout out during the vows. These will be the same gobshites who let their kids run riot around all the tables whist they get pissed.

It's too long a day for small kids and babies. A reception party is not a place for them with people getting pissed etc. By all means go and bring a babysitter but Christ Almighty a wedding with kids is a chore. Kids get fed up and bored and them kick off. Nobody should have to listen to that on their wedding day.

I am childfree and had a childfree wedding. I am not on Instagram and didn't even have a photographer. Your post smacks of bitterness and assumption.

I really think comments like that are from bitter little people who lack enough social awareness to understand that some people just don’t want children at their wedding

We have been to child free weddings and and weddings that our children were included in.

we have always had the children at family weddings and chosen not to take the children to a few friends weddings and they have had a weekend with grandma, however the one wedding we did go to whereby no children were invited was the most boring wedding ever,

no atmosphere, no celebratory vibes, wedding day was the most boring, longest day ever , marriage didn’t last long either.

😂
Of course. And what was the fault before instagram? Because mine was before I even heard of Instagram

That's the exact bottom line. I just didn't want children there.

Not everything revolves around children!

It’s so normal in my circle that I’m always baffled by these threads where people think it’s a big deal!

We had my (8) nephews and nieces there but we’re not able to accommodate extended family or friend’s children - if we had invited all the children there would have been over 30 kids there, there were only 60 adults in total. We explained and did say individually to people that we would be flexible if they really needed it - eg in case of people who had a way to travel, nobody took us up on it and most friends said they preferred to have a day without having to worry about the kids. They’d have been fairly hypocritical if they had complained as they all had child free weddings themselves.

We’ve been to one wedding since having DD. It was quite a distance away from where we
live so we took grandparents and paid for them to stay in the same b&b where we were staying, had the night before there to get DD a bit more settled, got her ready in the morning then she went off out for the day with grandparents whilst we went to the wedding, then we left after the meal and came back to take over. Grandparents not comfortable with having her overnight still but happy to take her out for the day so that’s how we did it.

1. It is nice and you value your guests if you let them choose to be bring the remaining of their family , to leave behind some of it or not to come at all. It’s about freedom to choose
2. Some people don’t have money for a baby sitter. Some don’t trust strangers with their babies - see at the news what madness is around. Some people don’t have family/friends to take care of their children.
3. I don’t want to invite kids because I can’t have shots at the bar is just the drunken British culture thing.
4. It’s not a club, a bar, a inappropriate sex event that kids are not allowed to participate and experience. It’s a family celebration.
5. Money. It is more respectful to cut from your flowers, decorations, invitations and other stupid things than to invite people and force them to find a solution and triangle the circle in order to attend your wedding.
6. Discrimination - When you select your guests based on their age it is discriminatory. It is like opting for specific genders, skin colour, professions etc. True, it is your wedding but still you are discriminating against age groups.
7. Joy - A happy kid running around vs a drunken old uncle that makes inappropriate jokes and no one wants to be near him. Choose…

Food for thought

It’s up to the couple to decide if they want t to make their wedding a learning opportunity for your children.

As for “how else can they learn” what bollocks. Far fewer people actually bother to get married these days. Children in future may never get the opportunity to attend a wedding. It won’t be the end of the world.

You are misrepresenting the data.
You are, imo, being unreasonable in your vitriol for the way some people choose to celebrate their marriage.
Kid free weddings are a PITA. But if the invite comes to the adults only, it is for me to find childcare or decline the invite. It is not for me to dissect the bride and grooms choices.

It's given me food for thought that OP is not real. Surely nobody can be this miserable and argumentative.

Just don't go to the sodding wedding and go back to being bitter.

I agree that all weddings are about unions, but not all weddings are about having children.

Absolutely this.

And I forgot to add that child free weddings are unheard in other cultures. I discussed it with friends from abroad and this thing is unheard there! It’s popular just in the and because it’s so popular makes people think that it’s normal

We had no children at ours because we had no family children, at that time. But no you’re right it must have been because we wanted the perfect Instagram look and my wedding must have been dull and shit with no one talking to each other.

Maybe I should have hired some random children to create an atmosphere, asked one of them to scream during the speeches.

When I got married I never knew childfree weddings were a thing. Not that I'd have had one.

I've never been to a wedding where anyone got drunk. Some were even dry weddings. It's not necessary to get drunk to have fun.

@Liorae no I don’t think that and I didn’t say that.

i was talking about weddings (ie the act of getting married, the celebration/event) not marriages (the legal status).

I respect that for some people the legal status is the only important thing so a small select group is what they want at the ceremony.

i am talking about an event where the B and G exclude guests on the basis of their age. Personally I think it is more classy to invite a whole family or none of a family if cost is the issue. Or do what you did (although appreciate it might not have been because of cost in your personal situation).

I have been to loads of weddings over the years and they have all been adults-only. Some have made an exception for the children of close relatives.

Our wedding was child-free. The only exception was for our two nieces and my friend’s very small baby.

I’ve only attended one wedding with DD - her uncle and aunt’s. Was an absolute slog all day!

I agree, I think she’s being deliberately inflammatory now.

I just think the OP sees her kids as being the centre of everything at all times.