For asking my Ukrainian guest to get a job so they can move out?

[Erith1985]

Wondering if anyone else is going through the same thing.

I’ve been hosting a Ukrainian guest at my house for six months. I’m appalled by the war and I have a big spare room with its own bathroom and so although I normally live alone by choice, I offered up my room. The first few months were ok, they are clean and tidy and were out and about a fair amount so we didn’t get in each other’s way. We didn’t discuss length of stay when they first arrived because I didn’t want them to feel unwelcome. I figured I would bring it up when they got a job.

That hasn’t happened. They say they have been sending off their CV and getting some interviews, but they haven’t secured anything. It seems they have only been looking at jobs in their previous sector, and that they have pretty high salary expectations since they’re complaining about the 45% tax rate. In the meantime, they’ve now settled into a routine that means they are at home nearly all the time - coming down to cook three times a day and only seeming to leave the house to go to the gym or the job centre, and spend most of the time in between instagramming. It feels like the heating and / or the oven is constantly on and they aren’t very communicative so when we’re in the shared space at the same time it feels awkward.

We finally had the conversation a month or so ago to say that I would like my hosting to end at the end of November, which they accepted on the basis that they were sure they would have secured one of the jobs they were going for by then, but there’s no sign of that being the case. When I ventured that they might need to look at work that wasn’t their first choice sector, they looked at me like I was mad and said that they’d rather start her own business (!) They’ve also mentioned several times how expensive flats in our area are and how they needs the big salary they want to be able to afford it.

I’m really just at a loss for how to handle this situation - I obviously won’t be turfing them out on the streets but how do I make them see that they might have to accept work that is not their ideal and work towards it? And / or rent a room that is outside of London to be able to afford it? They have great language skills, and there’s no reason they couldn’t find work other than they aren’t willing to consider something which isn’t their “dream job” and furthering their career; I totally get wanting that, but not at the expense of being able to support yourself. I’m worried that I am now just stuck hosting as long as they want me to, and the Council have been no help (basically got a letter saying “no other hosts available and we hope you’ll help them as long as they need you”.)

Am I being unreasonable for wanting them to work harder at getting a job (any job) so that I can have my house back?

Ignore this post entirely. The Ukrainian guest is not a tenant. The fact remains that you notify the council that the guest is homeless on x date and the guest presents as homeless and will be placed in hostel/hotel accommodation which they will pay for.

She had permission to work the moment she arrived. You do realise that don't you. If she is saying otherwise then she is taking your parents for a ride.

I would be very direct , please do not feel intimidated , tell them they need to go out by the end of the month so finding where to stay is up to them . I’m assuming they have money if they are not paying anything or working ? Maybe a state agent will let them rent with 6 months upfront . Either way not your problem at this stage

what kind of job are they qualified to do that would warrant 45% tax rate? Doctors/surgeons maybe but they need to have English competency certification.

there was an Italian surgeon i knew had to work for half salary because he didn’t have this certification and couldn’t operate on patients only gives advice on case sto other surgeons.

If that is true, not so "lovely" then

I read in our hosts’ forums, here in Yorkshire, it is very difficult for them to secure rentals because the landlords want rent guarantors. The council are guaranteeing the deposits but obviously not the rent.

You told them the end of November was the deadline. Write to them confirming that that date still stands and you expect them to vacate by 30th November. Give them the contact details for the council's housing department.

İn my council they are just using people who already had a role, to do the work. We've never had access to an interpreter and the people doing the house checks were already working for the council, doing house inspections to make sure landlords were complying with standards. Etc etc.
To put it into context, my local council told me (back in May), they had 100 hosts in the city and surrounding areas signed up, each with at least one Ukrainian, and everyone I've spoken to is hosting families. That's just my small city. The county council have set up a hotline to process their welcome payments and ask for information, but no other support is available through that. The county as a whole would have received millions so far, and no support given to hosts of guests with settling in, whatsoever. I told my council that my guest would like support in finding private accomodation and the advice was to wait whilst they sorted out a plan. This was back in July and not a word heard since. They left the UK in the end.

I had to post in a rush earlier. Although our guests have jobs and teen is in school getting them to move out at the moment is unrealistic. There's no where to go exce0t temp accommodation to be honest. Thankfully we always expected they'd be woth us for at least a year and we are fortunate enough that they are clean and tidy, occasionally watch DS so we can go out and are mainly good fun.
but who can be always good fun when.yoir men are fighting, your friends are at risk of rape or death or f9rcible deportation and you may f8nd your home has g8ne when you return.

We've been lucky but I know of so many hosting arrangements that have broken down. The scheme was bodged together and people with kind hearts and intentions duped. Its very sad

www.gov.uk/government/publications/right-to-work-checks-employers-guide/ukrainian-nationals-and-right-to-work-checks-accessible-version

Automatic right to work immediately if entering under the Homes for Ukraine Scheme

Not ridiculous. I’d be really surprising if this isn’t someone job in Russia.

But yes, contact the council so they can arrange housing.

OP, sorry you are going through this. We had a Ukrainian family staying with us for 3 months although they have now returned home for various reasons.

There have been a few other support threads for hosts on here which you may find helpful.

You can start asking her for a contribution to the bills, that is allowed under the terms of the scheme, this is in addition to the £350 you get from the council.

I'm sure you have learned this by now but you need to be extremely blunt and clear with Ukrainian people, they don't really get the subtle approach - they take everything at face value. Presumably she is going to the job centre to get her benefits so I'm not sure why they are not putting more pressure on here to work - as we all know there are plenty of jobs in the hospitality and care sectors at the moment.

And as PPs have said, you should push this back to your council through the appropriate channels. The government really didn't put enough thought into what would happen at the end of the 6 months, and they need to sort it out.

@TheWomanTheyCallJayne Are you going to tell your parents that their guest is able to work already?

She has helped. She kept her side of the bargain and is now exhausted.
To accuse the OP of dumping her guest, when she has clearly done more than you (or I) have, is grossly unfair.

Everyone who has offered up their homes is extremely kind and generous. Post covid, when we have all become accustomed to our own space, to share that space with a stranger is a big sacrifice.

I have to say that the Ukrainian guests I am helping are suffering with PTSD. They had to escape occupied Ukraine via Russia, leaving their parents, home and pets behind. They took nothing except what they could carry. They spent days in a russian filtration centre which they do not talk about. Since arriving in the UK, several family members and friends have died because of the war. They do not speak much English. They live in fear every day of another death. Anyone here in the UK, going through such trauma, would be signed off for stress. I cannot imagine the roles being reversed and me having to find a job in Ukraine.

The OP has done a wonderful thing and the government needs to take responsibility long term. It isn't fair to expect hosts to shoulder the responsibility indefinitely. But I do think it's unrealistic to expect some (not all) people fleeing such a war to hold down a job depending on their personal circumstances.

FFS don't you watch the news? Life is very far from normal in Kyiv. They are under frequent attack from drones and occasionally missiles, the power, heat and water are frequently knocked out, and the mayor is making preparations for the whole city to be evacuated.

The family we hosted, who included young children, returned in the summer when it was relatively peaceful. They are now living 6 people in a 2 bedroom apartment and regularly having to take cover in an air raid shelter.

YANBU, I am also a host and it's largely been successful however my guest will be leaving in December and their work hours have been reduced by their employer because the employer knows they'll be leaving shortly. This means the guest doesn't get up till 8.30/9am, hangs around all day in a dressing gown and no longer takes public transport to 'go out' since the free travel pass ended. They're not interested in going out because they'll spend money. If it's raining, they won't go out. If it's windy, they won't go out. They just don't go out. It's become a very stressful environment in my own home because it's like they've disengaged. They will only go somewhere if I invite them to 'go out' and I'm paying. I stopped that when I realised you can take a horse to water.........

I feel so sorry for all parties here. There was no thought given to longer term plans and we already have a housing shortage. We also have a shortage of employees! As usual the governments can’t sort anything properly

OP you have been so kind.
In the nicest possible way, she will get away with whatever you let her get away with.
It is really up to you to set the boundaries.
I suggest you write a simple, short letter with the end date. It will make a difference her having it in writing.

Also tell her in the mean time that the bills are sky high and she may only cook once per day. Breakfast and lunch need not involve cooking.

If it makes it feel easier to you OP then why don't you tell a little white lie... that you have family arriving on 2nd December to stay for 2 months from overseas and she must be gone by then.

Just do it OP, you have been more than generous. And thank you on behalf of those of us that didn't make such a sacrifice.

Ignorant post of the day.

Kyiv is currently experiencing significant electricity black outs and running water is intermittent.

Yesterday the city's mayor Vitali Klitschko put out a statement saying the city was preparing plans for mass evacuations if the situation got any worse.

Thats BEFORE you take into account the regular missile attacks themselves that are knocking out the electricity and water and killing people in the process. Its true they hadn't had any attacks in months but that changed in October.

It isn't front line and there are less pressures, BUT there are real concerns about a humanitarian crisis unfolding in the city due to so many people there and the loss of critical infrastructure over the last month heading into a cold Ukrainian winter. The city has already set up 1000 warm zones for the vulnerable, but these have limited capacity. Citizens are being encouraged to store fuel and water atm because of these concerns.

If you are going to post something, at least know what the hell you are posting. You couldn't have put a post more out of touch with the situation on the ground if you tried - the timing its appalling.

You are learning the hard way that no good deed goes unpunished. The govt didn’t think any of it through. We have tonnes of homeless and unemployed people in the UK with many applicants per job. Much of our housing is in appalling condition and overcrowded. A little 2yo boy recently died as the black mould was so severe in his housing. Healthcare is getting impossible to access and schools are full. It was lunacy for a country as densely populated as ours to be stuffing people into spare rooms and I said this at the time.

jtaeapa congratulations on being right and taking the wise decision not to help anyone. Enjoy that. Do you have anything helpful to add?

We are also hosting and have a very similar situation.

Whilst we feel that the situation in Ukraine is terrible, and what Russia is doing is very wrong, we feel that our Ukrainian guests are completely taking the mick.
They treat our house like a hotel and seem to have money for shopping (a constant stream of internet purchases arrive, clothes, trainers, etc) but when we mention moving out, tell us how expensive accommodation in the UK is. Well it is, but they could easily earn more and spend less on other things. Our 50 year old lady works for 3 hours on 4 days a week. Her 20 year old daughter is "still looking for a job" after 6 months as she seems to prefer sleeping and being on the internet all day! They see us rushing about, working, going to school etc and when I dared to mention how much our bills have increased since they arrived, their answer was was "But you get paid to have us". We receive £350 a month for hosting (not for each Ukrainian) and our bills have increased by a lot more than that, plus all the extra food and household things like loo rolls, laundry detergent, etc they use.

The Ukrainians in the UK seem to have been mislead by the hosting arrangement, treating their stay in the UK like a holiday, ours go off sightseeing etc. They are very aware of their "rights" and their social media groups tell them how to claim the maximum amount of benefits and what they are entitled to. They don't seem to understand that living with a family might involve mucking in. A local hosting family had a complaint made against them to the council for asking the Ukrainians to help with a bit of cleaning in the house and washing up - they said they were being treated as slaves!

Truthfully in your position I would extend my offer to the end of the year, and expect the guest to have secured a job of some kind by the end of this month at the very latest.
If they have not found a job by the 30th of November I would probably ask them to leave, as I would take that as wilful refusal to work. There are in excess of a million job vacancies, so waiting for the perfect job is not an option when someone is paying for you, there are so many other opportunities.

That would be my approach. You have done more than enough already.

In your position they would be out. No way would I be able to tolerate what you are describing.