To not want to give lifts with baby in the car

[alwaysfrazzled]

My baby is four months old and is a nightmare in the car. She screams the place down and always drops her dummy which upsets her even more. If I need to go anywhere in the car I make it short journeys and if I have to go anywhere longer than ten mins I always go with someone else in the back.
Sister in law is in hospital and needs a lift home. She stays a half hour drive away so that's an hour round trip.
She would have to sit in the back with the baby but it won't stop the screaming, on the way home would be a nightmare. I hate driving with constant screaming.
I don't want to do it. Would I be unreasonable to suggest she gets the bus home?
My partner is working away so not home to help. Her mum is on holiday. Nobody else can drive her home. Nightmare.

I just can't imagine being that selfish as an adult - knowing that I'm making my SIL drag her screaming baby on multiple car journeys just to help me out for half an hour.

Me neither, but someone has asked OP

I knew someone like this, people stopped inviting her places in the end as she made such a dram about driving with her baby in the car.

Driving with a screaming baby is distracting and dangerous. You are right not to want to do it.

Can she not get a taxi?

*drama

Who will be minding your other kids OP?

No it wouldn't, it would be wrong to risk the baby's health and other road users. It would be kind of the SIL to not be so selfish and impose on a mother with a 4 month old newborn baby, and get a taxi like any other normal human being would.

So there should be no issues with her saying no.

The OP said they're in school.

So there should be no issues with her saying no.

Right, but OP obviously feels there might be otherwise would not be asking, that's what the thread is about.

I knew someone who's baby screamed non stop in the car. It only happened in the car so I wonder if she felt travel sick? I couldn't concentrate driving, with a screaming baby. I know someone who crashed her car, due to a screaming baby.

My eldest has bad travel sickness. She is on medication when ever we need to go anywhere half an hour away. Has never grown out of it and I suspect dd is the same.
Dd says she gets awful headaches, feels sick and dizzy in the car.

She was a sensible woman.

And if OP crashes her car, we all know very well that CF SIL will not help her with insurance costs. That's if OP/SIL/baby and/or other road users get out of it alive/unhurt.

So you have two children who deal with this horrible illness but aren't willing to see a doctor because it only happens in the car? Poor kids,

@girlmom21 did you miss the part I said she's on medication? I have saw the doctor, but thanks for your assumptions. My poor kids are just fine.

My baby did this. It eventually stopped but it was extremely distressing for all of us. I can assure you she is perfectly normal.

Dear @JennyNotFromTheBlock I very much do know what sepsis is thank you. Both from personal experience and several years working in a microbiology lab.

I think you and I just fundamentally disagree with each other. That's fine because neither of us are either the OP or the SIL and so aren't invested in this tale and so just passing the time on a wet Sunday afternoon.

It does not require the level of investment that your caps and bold font seem to require.

I'll bow out now.

I suggest maybe you think about a spa day. 😂🤣

You also refused to go to help the baby.

I would think it's a bit of a safety issue too..the OP is bound to be distracted and concerned about her LO in the back so doubt she can concentrate fully on the road. I know I couldn't.

Unfortunately there is absolutely nothing at all, whatsoever that a doctor can do about travel sickness. My uncle has travel sickness so bad, and no travel sickness meds work, that if he has to travel to an appointment (he lives rurally) in the city, unless it's an emergency he gets telephone appointments instead where the doctors have a phone consultation with him.

Even as someone whose kids hated the car I think YABU. It's an hour which will be relatively difficult for you and will then be over. SIL is in hospital and you can help, its a one off just give her a lift.

Put little one in the front, I used to take a bag of dummies when he lost one I could just shove another one in his mouth/hand. DS hated being in the back (he's now 9 and runs to get in the front over DH) yet was happy as a bunny up front next to one of us. He wasn't to bad in the back with someone else

this thread is so infuriating. reminds me of all the times my parents said ‘just let her cry and she’ll fall asleep’ about my daughter who would cry until she threw up and then continue crying :) it’s not always black and white. sis can get a taxi

Dd was like this. But i still had to go in the car daily with her. I wouldn't avoid it. Especially to get someone from hospital.

By 12m i did FF her seat as she would make herself physically sick every journey.

@girlmom21 what? Help the baby how?
She can't go on medication until she is old enough. So for now, we limit car journeys. I don't know what's so hard to understand about that.
We have tried distractions such as toys and dummies. Not much else I can actually do.