I know I'm not, despite what anyone else says

[SaltireOShanter]

Last Christmas (2006) SIl who was 19 at the time moved into a flat which she had bought with her boyfriend. At the time DH said he wnated to buy them a present. I said Ok, we'll get them some towels, or sheets. I'll be honest, i didn't want to spend a lot becasue the cynic in me decided it wouldn't last. So we told Step MIl and PIL that's what we would get them. When we visited at New Year, step MIl said Oh could you buy them an Iron and Ironing Board instead as X has decided she doesn't want towels. SO DH said "Oh yes, no problem", i was furious. So anyway, she had actually picked a £50 iron out the Argos book. I put my foot down and said no, and insited we got her one from Asda which we did. Anyway they split up and sold everything on ebay and split the money . However, SIL has now moved into a bigger flat with 2 other girls, and step MIL has been on the phone to DH - at his work - he thought something was wrong - asking if we would get X another Iron and Ironing board and said "It would be nice if you could get her what she wants this time"
I have told him to text her back and say no. DH is 40 in a couple of months, his mum and dad are both 60 (another story, they are both having their 60th's on the same weekend, out of spite), his dad and step MIL are celebrating their silver wedding, SIL is 21, and we also have 2 weddings this year

I bought my sister an iron and an ironing board for Christmas the year before she went to Dartmouth. She looked at it glumly and said "thank you, I know I need it, but it's not very exciting is it?"

Unless you have your own individual accounts or loads of money of course you discuss presents. It's common courtesy not to just take 50 quid out of a household budget- unless you have so much that it really isn't noticeable. I'd spend a fiver on a present without asking dh, but not 50 quid.

You don't get an iron every time you move house. Crazy people.

If the Saltires were millionaires, it would still be bloody rude for SIL/MIL ask for anything, and ruder still, having dismissively flogged the last present, to specify (as FioFio rightly points out) "what they want this time". (Plain English translation: I didn't like your last present / you didn't listen to me)

To me, the presumptious expectation is what this is really all about. Not whether or not Saltire can or can not afford a £50 iron. I know lots of people who give the impression that they'd be able to buy me a very nice present for a lot more than that but I have never asked them for any such thing (not even leaving home at 19, not even after losing my home because of an evil bastard) and, as an adult, the only expectation I have ever had on moving anywhere is that I would be responsible for looking after myself one way or another.

Let her walk around all crinkley I say.

Actually, I think it's rude irrespective of whether or not you can afford it.
I also disagree with PPH that as it's his sister he can decide and you should stay out!
My understanding is that marriage is a partnership where you make decisions together. Clearly Saltire (and her DH) think this is outrageous and I don't blame them.

She sounds spoilt and ungrateful. The fact that she has never stood on her own two feet just compounds that. How rude to sell the gifts and then expect more! How rude to expect a present just for moving house and worse still to expect that present to cost £50!!!
Buy her a £10 argos voucher and tell her to add her phone credit hand outs to it to get what she wants!

But for the fact I'd begrudge spending a penny more on this spoilt brat it'd be so tempting to get an ELC iron and when her face falls claim that something must have been lost in translation from MIL: "Oh, you know me, just mention irons and my brain turns to mush".

Lapin - No, they came round when i was out, then though I asked them to call after 3pm!

Can I point out that it wasn't just our rpesent she/they sold on ebay, everything went, including the leather sofas and bed that her granny ahd bought her, the plasma tv, the DVD player, the washing machine all of it was sold either on ebay or privately (ad in shop window type thing)
What is annoying me is that A) Step MIL ahd the cheek to call up and ask for another present
B) The fact that no matter what DH does it never seems good enoguh for his dad, he always seems to ahve this guilt trip about everything
C) We can't afford it

What would annoy me is the audacity of expectation both from your SIL and worse, your PIL!

YANBU. Buy her a card.

Buy her the identical iron that you bought before and say brightly "isn't it amazing what you can get on eBay!"

I think they are supposed to be doing us today, even though I said I would be out I'd be willing to bet I still get a stroppy little card saying they tried to visit . Like the bright red notices they used to leave our padre upstairs, saying they'd tried to do an inspection and reminding him that he was obliged to let them in. In the end I rang up and said "he's DEPLOYED, you farking idiots".

or remind her that the crinkled look is back in this year??

catsmothers post is spot on. Its nothing to with money, its to do with manners. It's appalling manners to ask for a present in the first place and then, even via someone else, specify what brand is considered good enough. Fair enough if op had said 'oh I'll get you a housewarming gift what would you like' and got a response but SMIL and SIL are being unreasonable IMO.

Stand your ground SOS.

shocking manners. buy her bugger all

YANBU - how spoilt, rude and what everyone else has already said! Am [angry on your behalf - am also going to look at Argos on-line and see what on earth marvellous iron you get for £50! I think ours was about 19 7 years ago!

I like Little Lapins idea. Try to find it in a charity shop.

A 21 year old who irons?!

WTF!

I remember once I bought this nice iron the summer after university graduation because I had a real job as a legal secretary starting in Semptember, and whilst I was working a summer job, my dumb ass roommate put it face down on the board whilst she went to answer the phone.

And caught the fucking thing on fire!

The moral of this story is: don't buy nice appliances for people under 25 unless they're getting married or living alone.

YANBU. It's not normal to get pressies every time you move house!

Talk about ils from Hell!

None of their business what you do or don't buy sil as a present. With ps like that she is probably so spoilt it's not surprising her relationship failed.

I'd tell them to butt out and refuse ever to discuss such matters with them again.

Buy her a travel iron this time

Especially since she keeps moving

So, I'm right in thinking that she's moved in with 2 girls, and between them, they dont have an iron?????

Fuck em, I say.

£50 on an iron, does it iron the clothes for yousorry haven't read whole thread. I think is very rude for sil to expect a 2nd house warming gift having sold the first. Send a card & buy her an ironed from Tesco. I think lulamama said you can get one there for under a tenner.

this looks good - buy them one each

yanbu. like vitomum says, when a 21-year-old moves house she should be grateful to be gifted the crud that no-one else in the family wants. why not give her your iron and get dh to treat you to the £50 one. be sure to thank SiL for the pointer.

Oh god does it always boil down to money? Why can't you knit them a teacosy and they be delighted with it?