I know I'm not, despite what anyone else says

[SaltireOShanter]

Last Christmas (2006) SIl who was 19 at the time moved into a flat which she had bought with her boyfriend. At the time DH said he wnated to buy them a present. I said Ok, we'll get them some towels, or sheets. I'll be honest, i didn't want to spend a lot becasue the cynic in me decided it wouldn't last. So we told Step MIl and PIL that's what we would get them. When we visited at New Year, step MIl said Oh could you buy them an Iron and Ironing Board instead as X has decided she doesn't want towels. SO DH said "Oh yes, no problem", i was furious. So anyway, she had actually picked a £50 iron out the Argos book. I put my foot down and said no, and insited we got her one from Asda which we did. Anyway they split up and sold everything on ebay and split the money . However, SIL has now moved into a bigger flat with 2 other girls, and step MIL has been on the phone to DH - at his work - he thought something was wrong - asking if we would get X another Iron and Ironing board and said "It would be nice if you could get her what she wants this time"
I have told him to text her back and say no. DH is 40 in a couple of months, his mum and dad are both 60 (another story, they are both having their 60th's on the same weekend, out of spite), his dad and step MIL are celebrating their silver wedding, SIL is 21, and we also have 2 weddings this year

Did you email back telling her where to shove the iron? And the suggestions?

Who do they think they are to insist you buy a £50 iron!!

What does dh think??

I remember when we were asked to contribute a few hundred pounds to a present on the IL's side. We didn't have a few hundred pounds - if we had we wouldn't be living with a 1980's kitchen ffs. We said N O. I've found once you just start saying 'sorry no, can't afford it' then eventually people start to believe you.

are they aware of any etiquette in the offering of gifts? Tell them not to be so common. Buy her what you want/ if you want, and accept her grateful thank you xxx

The first time round, if I didn't want to spend £50 on an iron I would probably have given her £[however much I wanted to spend] in Argos vouchers so that she could put them towards whatever she wanted to get. Buying her a different one from Asda may have been moderately crap (depends on circumstances and functions, but for example we definitely want an iron with some specific features and one that doesn't have one isn't much use. Then again, we also buy our own irons...).

I see no reason why you need to buy her anything at all this time, though. People don't get presents every time they move, IMO and IME.

But she could afford it, she didn't want to buy it because she thought the relationship wouldn' last

I don't buy engagement presents for the same reason. I remember a neighbour being huffy with me for not buying her dd an engagement present (I didn't go to the party or anything). They didn't get married.

Anyway she has said 50 quid is a lot of money.

Cheeky sods

Yes first time round she said she didn't want to spend so much as she didn't think it would last, and she was right, this time round things are different, she's already sold the last present and spent the money on a holiday, and she's again asking for a £50 iron....when OP said its too much to spend this time round as there are lots of other family occasions she needs to buy for.

Mrsruffallo - Surely Saltire was right to do so bearing in mind that the gift they did buy for SIL got sold on ebay, spent on a holiday and now she wants a replacement !

Regardless of whether she can afford it or not surely any 'family money' spent can be talked about. I'm damned if I'll spend £50 on my brother for Xmas no matter how much I love him (and I do) as I know that he doesn't really appreciate it (also I'm lucky if I get a box of tesco chocs from him).

But then again it's her sIL isn't it. So maybe DH should speak up a bit, if they can't or don't want to spend that much for another iron then he should be telling his SMIL shouldn't he. What I don't get though it what's it got to do with SMIL anyway? Can't SIL speak for herself? Don't you get on?

No, Saltire said she didn't want to spend a lot on something that might not last (and clearly didn't). That's not the same thing as saying 'I have the money lying about, but I day want to give it to you'.

Mrsruffalo, would you spend £50 on an iron for someone else if your own was a Tesco £5 job???

I most certainly would not!!!

I think DH wants to buy her what she wants

They are a farking nightmare Salty, aren't they?! All that crap at Christmas and now this.

Just send her a card - maybe this one

Saltire's DH hasn't said he wants to get her the £50 iron !
Mine's a £5 jobby from Tesco's, I'd be buggered if I was buying anyone else a £50 one for no valid reason.

where does it say saltires DH wants to spend £50 on an iron?....i cant see anything resembling that!!

lol at Mrs Ruffallo

A lone voice of (un)reason.

x-posts Foghorn!!

Just reading between the lines. Yyou are all getting very worked up about this!!!!

Saltire's dh has not suggested spending £50 on her..

And I also hasten tp add that if dh suggested spending £50 of family money on an iron for his ungrateful, spoiled sister, he would get a nice reply!!

I assume her DH is capable of working out what they can afford to spend
let him decide what he wants to buy for her, if anything, and then buy it
call me naive, but I'm guessing he won't blow the domestic budget on buying his sister a housewarming present
I'd be furious if my DH started having views about what I bought my sister for her birthday, or for whatever reason actually

I don't mind, its good to have an alternative opinion voiced, I think you would all agree

Maybe the OP and dh give the impression of having more money than they actually do

Playing devil's advocate MrsR? You don't have to disagree just for the sake of it, you know.

Anyway, and I hope she doesn't mind, but this is the sort of crap Salty has already had to put up with. I think she is eminently reasonable under the circumstances!

even if saltires dh did want to spend £50 on the iron if it was going to mean that saltire and dc would be short for the month she would have every right to say no.

how bloody cheeky can you get anyway, my brother never bought me anything when i moved into my first house. he took dh (fiancee then) to the pub and got him well and truly pissed while i was left to unpack everything.