I know I'm not, despite what anyone else says

[SaltireOShanter]

Last Christmas (2006) SIl who was 19 at the time moved into a flat which she had bought with her boyfriend. At the time DH said he wnated to buy them a present. I said Ok, we'll get them some towels, or sheets. I'll be honest, i didn't want to spend a lot becasue the cynic in me decided it wouldn't last. So we told Step MIl and PIL that's what we would get them. When we visited at New Year, step MIl said Oh could you buy them an Iron and Ironing Board instead as X has decided she doesn't want towels. SO DH said "Oh yes, no problem", i was furious. So anyway, she had actually picked a £50 iron out the Argos book. I put my foot down and said no, and insited we got her one from Asda which we did. Anyway they split up and sold everything on ebay and split the money . However, SIL has now moved into a bigger flat with 2 other girls, and step MIL has been on the phone to DH - at his work - he thought something was wrong - asking if we would get X another Iron and Ironing board and said "It would be nice if you could get her what she wants this time"
I have told him to text her back and say no. DH is 40 in a couple of months, his mum and dad are both 60 (another story, they are both having their 60th's on the same weekend, out of spite), his dad and step MIL are celebrating their silver wedding, SIL is 21, and we also have 2 weddings this year

MrsRuffallo - wasn't that you posting earlier that SoSis mean-spirited to not want to buy something? Of course it's up to in-laws if they want to help out, it's also up to sos if she wants to help(which she obv. doesn't)

I'm still LOL'ing about the thought of a 20 year old really wanting a £50 iron. I'm 43 and can't even rustle up any enthusiasm for one!

she is your dh's sister
your dh can buy her whatever he wants whenever he wants
if he doesn't want to buy her anything, that is his decision

my advice would be to take your nose out of it and try not to be such a tightwad

I don't think refusing to spend 50 quid on an iron for a spoiled 20 odd year old is being a tightwad. Fifty quid is a lot of money to many (it is to us- if we had a spare fifty quid I;d buy a scanner- been waiting for that spare fifty quid for months).

YANBU

Why should you pay for her iron (twice!) when she is working full time.

Get her a nice dishtowel set. And a wooden spoon, what my mum calls "A wee minding"

I don't have a spare £50, not with all the expense we are going to have this year

Oh goodness, how selfish are you, fancy not buying her the right iron in the first place, I mean you may as well not have bothered. only joking!

Get her a £7.49 iron from argos or even better £2.00 from a car boot sale and tell the ungrateful little mare to stick it.

If Mr and Mrs Saltire each have their own "pocket money" and HE wants to buy his sister whatever out of HIS money then fair enough.

But ...... if this is expected to come out of joint disposable household income, and/or is money which is needed for Saltire's family, then it's incredibly dismissive to tell her to take her nose out of it ! Most couples don't go around spending nilly-willy without discussing it first, and then justifying it with "it's my sister " (or whoever) "so what" !!

And the fact still remains that she and her mother are being very presumptious.

If she is working fulltime she prob. has more disposable income than you have SoS and I don't think you are being a tightwad to refuse to be pressured into buying a present for someone (who obv doesn't deserve it). Get PrincessPeahead to buy it for her. She has as much obligation to buy you SIL an iron your SIL as you have. ie none

You are sooooo NBU. She needs to learn to stand on her own two feet and buying her the iron will not teach her this. Step MIL needs to keep nose out and do not agree with posts saying it is 'his money, his sister' etc. You are married so joint money so you have an equal say. She should have kept half of the property when she split up with ex IMO.

TBH any purchases DH and I make regarding family is decided on together "How much are we spending on X this year?" and we spend the same on everyone. Like Saltire we can't afford to go mad we have enough expenses of our own.

I seem to remember when I left home, my mum and dad let me take my bedroom furniture and some bedding, bought me some towels and I bought a little bit more of what I needed each week out of my wages. Why can't SIL do that?

YANBU, your MIL and SIL are being cheeky.

YANBU! She sounds very spoilt and step MIL a bit of a nightmare.

LOL, wish I got new iron, etc every time I move house! Am at this post - what's wrong with a card saying happy new home? I am a skinflint though...

Cheeky bugger! And the MIL wants to mind her own bloody buisness!Cant tell people how much to spend or specify a particular item unless you have actually her yourself!Id be livid!

in my family, at that age when you are moving into flats etc you get all the old guff that the rest of the family wants rid of. i used my mum's old towels from circa 1970 for years

Just had email from Step MIL telling me she had called DH to ask about the iron and giving me "suggestions" for PIL's 60th birthday present.

Tell her to stick her suggestions up her arse. If you want suggestions you can ask!

I can't believe there are some people who think that the OP is being unreasonable for not wanting to buy her sil a £50 iron!

Sil sounds like a spoilt mare.

FWIW I was in my own flat when I was 16 and bought my own household goods. If i got a present I was pleased and grateful, no matter what it was. And the thought of wasting £50 on an iron makes my mind boggle. What's wrong with a £5 cheapo from Tesco?

Can you imagine what the op's sil's wedding list will be like

I don't see what all the fuss is about. I would rather buy someone something they wanted than a cheaper version that won't be used. Same for PIL 60th

The very idea! YANBU, like you need me to say it.

oh, and a 'welcome to the real world, where people actually think £50 is a large sum' to the folk saying you are BU.

Signed Mrs Tightwad - for whom £50 is 1/6 of her food and essentials budget for the whole month.

How are your gifts usually received?
They seemed a bit concerned over what you are going to buy?

oooh!!! i cant believe the cheek of their family!!! you shouldn't expect you to buy her a new iron, her mother shouldn't expect you to buy her a new iron!! when i moved in with my now DH we had a joint engagement and my 18th birthday party, if any family asked what i wanted i asked for something for the home as we were soon to be getting a flat....some family insisted on buying me a housewarming and a birthday present, but i didn't want both!!

you only get real housewarming presents the first time you move into somewhere!! SIL sounds like a spoilt little brat and i'd tell her where to stick her (turned on) iron!!

plus....princesspeahead if they dont have £50 as a family to afford to spend on SIL then why should he be able to buy 'his sister' anything he wants. as a married couple things should work together and it should be a joint decision how much is spent if anything in this case!!