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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Skidding Car - friend's husband today "couldn't resist the opportunity"

544 replies

alwaysmovingforwards · 05/11/2022 19:02

Sorry, bit of a long one..

I flew back to the UK today and my friend's husband had kindly agreed to give me a lift home from the airport. Such a lovely gesture - saves me either a hefty taxi bill or 2+hrs on public transport. My friend lives close to me and her husband owns companies on the industrial estates near the airport , so he's always doing that route. I get on really well with both of them and their family, they're all lovely people, seem very happy and lead a very nice lifestyle. It was my friend who made the offer and we arranged a couple of weeks ago, he then followed up on text to say it's no problem just let him flight details etc which I did.

Anyway, we arranged for me to get the airport bus 10mins to the long stay carpark to avoid the airport fees, which makes sense. So I get there and he arrives shortly after. It's a massive carpark and pretty much empty so he pulls up right next to the little shelter thing, we say hi, he gives me a hand putting my bag in the boot and I get in and buckle up. As we pull away I'm saying thank you and was about to ask how everyone is, but he's smiling and says "sorry, just can't resist the opportunity..."

He then accelerates his car really quickly, turns and the whole car starts skidding sideways! The engine sounds incredibly loud and must be revving right up to full power and we're literally sliding on the wet carpark in a big circle, totally terrifying. I don't know if he was in control because the steering wheel was moving around quickly but didn't seem to correlate with the direction of the car. It's one of the most shocking things I've ever experienced and I don't like roller coasters etc.

He then slows, chuckles "just couldn't resist it" again and calmly drives to the barriers, exits smoothly towards the motorway, puts the radio on and then casually starts asking how my trip was.. as if that whole thing didn't happen! I tried to speak on the way home, to be polite and make small talk, but in all honesty I was feeling very ill and my legs were shaky 40mins later when he dropped me off.

Should I tell my friend what an abolosute idiot her husband actually is? On one had I really appreciate the gesture of giving me a lift and value our friendship, but on the other this was an incredibly dangerous and shocking incident she should be aware of.

It's so weird, because up until now I thought he was a really nice guy. But I just can't see him in the same way any more. I know he likes fast cars because she's told me that the stables at their house have been converted into garages and he has various cars in there. I've been in the car with him before and he's been a really good confident driver, very safe and smooth. He's in his early 50s FFS!

To make matters worse, I called my parents when home to say hi after my trip. I spoke to my Dad as even though he's in his 70s, he knows lots about cars and I explained what happened and he sort of laughed and said "well, once every now and again, why not eh..."
Seriously WTF?!?

So AIBU to be so shocked and upset by this? I still feel nauseous now.

Or is there a weird parallel universe I've just discovered where respectable, responsible, grown arse men with kids and wives and businesses, that should know better, see it as perfectly acceptable to be doing skidding and sliding and loud engine revving in their cars?

OP posts:
taliaG · 08/11/2022 00:58

Withmayo · 07/11/2022 14:14

I am amazed at the number of posts on here defending this idiot guy. He clearly wasn’t driving safely. It is not ok to drive like this in a car park. If he HAD caused an accident (luckily he didn’t), he would have been guilty of dangerous driving. It was also incredibly inconsiderate and thoughtless of him not to appreciate that this was likely to be a frightening experience for his passenger. The posts having a go at OP are disgraceful.

Me too. I feel like I have dropped into a parallel universe. I have heard of 18 year old yobs doing things like this. Not fully grown men and women.

taliaG · 08/11/2022 01:01

BoiledorMashed · 07/11/2022 18:58

I think you may need to start popping a red pill occasionally. The way it started out I thought you were heading through the safety barrier at the top of a multi storey. If I'd done a good deed of that magnitude only to be snitched on I'd be absolutely raging. Start living life on the edge, next time you go through a morrrisons self check out use a Tesco bag for life.

"Snitched on" ? If you think it is acceptable, why would you mind if someone told your wife you had done it?

taliaG · 08/11/2022 01:04

@MaxTalk no, we definitely haven't "all" done it

Aquaria88 · 08/11/2022 06:41

Ginglymostomatidae · 05/11/2022 19:07

Did you die though?

😂😂😂^^

Ivyonafence · 08/11/2022 08:02

@MaxTalk

We have not 'all' done it.

And just about every driver overestimates their own level of skill, so saying something isnt dangerous if 'executed well' is nonsense. Just about every man who has ever slammed into a tree probably believed himself to be an excellent driver.

It's not his call. It's about consent. She should have had a say in whether she believed it was safe before her own person was put through it.

Withmayo · 08/11/2022 08:33

Well said @Ivyonafence

MaxTalk · 08/11/2022 08:40

Ivyonafence · 08/11/2022 08:02

@MaxTalk

We have not 'all' done it.

And just about every driver overestimates their own level of skill, so saying something isnt dangerous if 'executed well' is nonsense. Just about every man who has ever slammed into a tree probably believed himself to be an excellent driver.

It's not his call. It's about consent. She should have had a say in whether she believed it was safe before her own person was put through it.

You may be right actually. I will be asking for consent when I get into a taxi and the guy goes a bit too fast for my liking, where my friend has a load of cheap crap tyres on his car as he couldn't afford to buy anything decent, where the lady at work takes us on a business trip and is going way too quickly for the conditions etc.

How long is this piece of string...? I would hazard a guess that Mr. Slider is very probably far more in control that 90% of people I see on the roads everyday...

People are getting all hot and bothered because he had a bit of (probably) controlled fun but in reality they probably do far more dangerous things on the roads every day without thinking about it...

Topseyt123 · 08/11/2022 08:48

I think he sounds like a twat and I would have let rip at him at the time. He would have known exactly how his stupid actions had impacted on me.

I would have demanded to be let out of the car and would have gone for the taxi or public transport home.

Yes, I would have told his wife what he had done and why I didn't like it. No further offers of lifts would be accepted, and probably wouldn't be forthcoming anyway (no loss).

If it was an airport car park you can hope that it was captured on the ANPR and security cameras.

Ivyonafence · 08/11/2022 09:24

@MaxTalk my man, you can absolutely tell a taxi driver slow down. Did you not realise that?

You can also absolutely not hop into a friends car if you don't think it's safe. It's also a ridiculous analogy for this situation because in your example you haven't hopped into a perfectly normal car for it to VERY SUDDENLY turn into a bomb with crappy tires. You got to look at the car and choose the risk you assumed.

OP got into a normal car for a normal trip home with what she thought was a sensible person. That's the risk she assumed.

Assuming some risk just a necessary part of driving. But doing a donut is unnecessary.

You can't force your ideas of fun on other people.

DarkKarmaIlama · 08/11/2022 09:38

@Ivyonafence

I know right? Last time my Uber driver dropped me off to the airport I asked him to slow down. He was really speeding and as a paying customer I am certainly entitled to ask. He slowed down.

I also never get in the car with my sister as I value my life and I’ve let her know this 😜.

FirewomanSam · 08/11/2022 09:40

Some of these posts read like we’re back in high school, with all the accusations of being lame and boring if you don’t enjoy something. Personally I think the ones who think drifting is the height of ‘cool’ and jeer at anyone who doesn’t like it are the ones who sound a bit sad.

Enjoy whatever you want but to scorn at other people and accuse them of being losers if they don’t like it makes you sound pathetic.

Tiggee2001 · 08/11/2022 10:46

I am a “grown arse woman” of 38 and when I had my BMW mini (less than 3 years ago) I used to drift round car parks if empty or only a few cars present. I now have a baby and SUV so not as easy to do.

You may of felt the car was out of control but I (personally) am in complete control Of the vehicle when I am drifting or other car tricks.

I do not think you need to report his behaviour to his wife that feels a-bit OTT. 🤦🏻‍♀️ You did get a FREE lift home which saves you messing around on public transport and a hefty taxi fare as stated by yourself. However, if you feel strongly about the experience then I would not accept a lift from your friends husband in future.

as they say no good deed goes unpunished. 🤷🏻‍♀️

Ivepaidmytaxes · 08/11/2022 11:24

He should have done his little party trick before getting you into the car not when you were inside. I wouldn't tell his wife...she probably knows she's married to a dick.

Algor1thm · 08/11/2022 11:32

Ivepaidmytaxes · 08/11/2022 11:24

He should have done his little party trick before getting you into the car not when you were inside. I wouldn't tell his wife...she probably knows she's married to a dick.

Ugh yeah, he did a 1hr 30 minute round trip to the airport to collect his wife's friend to save her having to use public transport. What a waste of a space dickhead.

Ellflet · 08/11/2022 16:37

Me too!! 🙂

AnnieSnap · 08/11/2022 20:47

Algor1thm · 08/11/2022 11:32

Ugh yeah, he did a 1hr 30 minute round trip to the airport to collect his wife's friend to save her having to use public transport. What a waste of a space dickhead.

I take it you didn’t read the bit that said he works near the airport 🙄

Thinkingpod · 29/09/2023 07:17

You a drama queen. If it upset you THAT much you should have gotten out and got in to a taxi and paid the bill

RedPony1 · 29/09/2023 09:46

Sounds like a brilliant journey home to me!! Nothing i haven't done once or twice (or twenty) times myself 😂

Even my mum would have loved it

DriftingDora · 29/09/2023 11:26

Thinkingpod · 29/09/2023 07:17

You a drama queen. If it upset you THAT much you should have gotten out and got in to a taxi and paid the bill

A very deep, insightful, meaningful response - an absolute treat to read, but er...in reply to an old thread. Why, just why?

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