Meet the Other Phone. Flexible and made to last.

Meet the Other Phone.
Flexible and made to last.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Skidding Car - friend's husband today "couldn't resist the opportunity"

544 replies

alwaysmovingforwards · 05/11/2022 19:02

Sorry, bit of a long one..

I flew back to the UK today and my friend's husband had kindly agreed to give me a lift home from the airport. Such a lovely gesture - saves me either a hefty taxi bill or 2+hrs on public transport. My friend lives close to me and her husband owns companies on the industrial estates near the airport , so he's always doing that route. I get on really well with both of them and their family, they're all lovely people, seem very happy and lead a very nice lifestyle. It was my friend who made the offer and we arranged a couple of weeks ago, he then followed up on text to say it's no problem just let him flight details etc which I did.

Anyway, we arranged for me to get the airport bus 10mins to the long stay carpark to avoid the airport fees, which makes sense. So I get there and he arrives shortly after. It's a massive carpark and pretty much empty so he pulls up right next to the little shelter thing, we say hi, he gives me a hand putting my bag in the boot and I get in and buckle up. As we pull away I'm saying thank you and was about to ask how everyone is, but he's smiling and says "sorry, just can't resist the opportunity..."

He then accelerates his car really quickly, turns and the whole car starts skidding sideways! The engine sounds incredibly loud and must be revving right up to full power and we're literally sliding on the wet carpark in a big circle, totally terrifying. I don't know if he was in control because the steering wheel was moving around quickly but didn't seem to correlate with the direction of the car. It's one of the most shocking things I've ever experienced and I don't like roller coasters etc.

He then slows, chuckles "just couldn't resist it" again and calmly drives to the barriers, exits smoothly towards the motorway, puts the radio on and then casually starts asking how my trip was.. as if that whole thing didn't happen! I tried to speak on the way home, to be polite and make small talk, but in all honesty I was feeling very ill and my legs were shaky 40mins later when he dropped me off.

Should I tell my friend what an abolosute idiot her husband actually is? On one had I really appreciate the gesture of giving me a lift and value our friendship, but on the other this was an incredibly dangerous and shocking incident she should be aware of.

It's so weird, because up until now I thought he was a really nice guy. But I just can't see him in the same way any more. I know he likes fast cars because she's told me that the stables at their house have been converted into garages and he has various cars in there. I've been in the car with him before and he's been a really good confident driver, very safe and smooth. He's in his early 50s FFS!

To make matters worse, I called my parents when home to say hi after my trip. I spoke to my Dad as even though he's in his 70s, he knows lots about cars and I explained what happened and he sort of laughed and said "well, once every now and again, why not eh..."
Seriously WTF?!?

So AIBU to be so shocked and upset by this? I still feel nauseous now.

Or is there a weird parallel universe I've just discovered where respectable, responsible, grown arse men with kids and wives and businesses, that should know better, see it as perfectly acceptable to be doing skidding and sliding and loud engine revving in their cars?

OP posts:
BatCheeseIsFine · 07/11/2022 08:05

And I sometimes think some men are like this because they can no longer get away with groping and harassment (i know that’s still common too, but more men know it won’t end well for them). Other power trips like this give them an ego boost and sense of control over women instead. He was also doing OP a favour, making it harder for her to object. There are a lot of parallels.

and I know I’ll now get even more / worse abuse for seeing that, but as pp said, spotting these situations and these men can serve you well.

taliaG · 07/11/2022 08:06

No it isn't normal or acceptable and YANBU. Obviously don't accept any lifts from him in the future. Yes I would tell my friend, his wife.

Lovemusic33 · 07/11/2022 08:11

TBH I would have been tempted to do the same as him 😬 but probably not with someone in the car. The car park was empty and he couldn’t help himself……but yes, he should have refrained.

Cherryblossoms85 · 07/11/2022 08:13

You sound like hard work. Of course he was a twat, and I'd certainly drop it into conversation with the friend but geez, the drama!

Brokenmiata · 07/11/2022 08:15

Grown adults don't have to outgrow their love of cars to keep miserable people like you happy 🤷🏽‍♀️. Perhaps shouldn't have done it with you in the car but doing donuts in a wet car park for a few seconds is actually harmless. Yes the steering wheel doesn't correlate to the direction of travel, it's called drifting, takes a fair bit of skill, he was more in control than most people ever are on the road.

Caroffee · 07/11/2022 08:15

He thinks he's on Top Gear or Grand Tour.

If he wants to do this sort of thing, he should do it when he's he on his own.

Don't accept a lift from him again.

BatCheeseIsFine · 07/11/2022 08:22

The thing is no one is suggesting he has to stop enjoying the fabulous thrill of making a car skid around in circles if that’s what floats his boat, or that he has to stop doing it.

the issue is it was not ok to do it to someone else without their consent and that it was reasonable for op to be scared or upset. Trauma from a previous crash, neck or back issues, vertigo, heart condition, or just a nervous passenger, there are loads of reasons why springing this on someone is terrible idea, especially if they don’t know what’s going on - and this thread shows lots of people wouldn’t, however pathetic or miserable you think that makes them.

Jippers · 07/11/2022 08:24

What's wrong with people? You are NOT over reacting OP. What a wanker.

SurreyHillsMamaAndBabyOscar · 07/11/2022 08:31

total non event belied by a juicy title

Sophie89j · 07/11/2022 08:36

Get over yourself, let the bloke enjoy his life and just not get in the car with him again🤷🏻‍♀️

Withmayo · 07/11/2022 08:41

What a w**nker! Maybe he is going through a mid life crisis.

AJ2009 · 07/11/2022 08:46

I don't understand how the fact they have a nice life style is relevant to the fact that he did a donut?

And yes the title would make anyone think he tried it on with you

Funny that you give a detailed description of their life but not a title

MaxTalk · 07/11/2022 08:48

Withmayo · 07/11/2022 08:41

What a w**nker! Maybe he is going through a mid life crisis.

Or maybe, just maybe he just likes to enjoy his life and his cars?

Maybe he was drifting on his own before he picked her up as well and wanted one last slide before exiting? I would have done the same...

I can imagine him asking for her permission as some suggest. Seeing a completely blank look, having to explain what a drift is, how the steering won't correlate to the direction of travel, how it maybe a bit noisy etc. Maybe he would need to draw a diagram and get her to sign a disclaimer.

After all that's been done there would have probably been a queue behind the guy.

Nah, sod it and just do it was the right decision. And get her to complain to his wife who would probably do feck all. Far less stress..

dimenwgeni · 07/11/2022 08:51

Do you not watch Top Gear? It's what they do all the time. If he drove safely on the road what's your problem? His wife probably know what he's like and has no problem with it.
Maybe you should fork out for the fare home next time.

OpinionsOnEverything · 07/11/2022 08:51

Wise up 🙄 You wrote a deliberately misleading title for a non event, so for that alone YABU. It was a "nearly empty" car park, he's "into cars" so clearly knew what he was doing and was in control. Was it a bit teenage boy racer-y? Yes. Are you completely over reacting as much as you possibly can by threatening to tell his wife like he shoved you in the boot blindfolded? Yes.
This has irritated me more than I expected it would. You're a fool. An unreasonable fool.

ahunf · 07/11/2022 08:52

Are you not around men your own age very often? If you're straight do you have a partner?

MoanaMadness · 07/11/2022 09:05

Am I not the only one actually surprised there’s an empty carpark at an airport!!!! It’s always been heaving in every carpark every time I’ve been!

Ginglymostomatidae · 07/11/2022 09:21

Stravaig · 07/11/2022 06:26

I think the ambiguous title is perfect. This is exactly the kind of guy who would grab a woman, force himself on her, then saunter off whistling, completely oblivious to the frozen, shocked, terrified, violated person he leaves behind him. After all, he's having a good time, why isn't she?

This is the vehicular equivalent. The shock and upset is less about speed and danger. The problem is the stripping away of agency, of having something done to you without your consent. That is wholly and forever unacceptable.

Don't be a twat. How on earth some people make the leap from donut performing to rapist is beyond me.

CecilyP · 07/11/2022 09:27

Lovemusic33 · 07/11/2022 08:11

TBH I would have been tempted to do the same as him 😬 but probably not with someone in the car. The car park was empty and he couldn’t help himself……but yes, he should have refrained.

Yes, he could have availed himself of the opportunity before picking up OP. He did it specifically because OP was in the car, to show off or to unnerve her.

DisenchantedDewberry · 07/11/2022 09:32

I don't think you're being unreasonable for not enjoying it, I think he should have warned you he was about to do it, but I don't think his wife needs to know or anything like that lol.

CecilyP · 07/11/2022 09:38

Sophie89j · 07/11/2022 08:36

Get over yourself, let the bloke enjoy his life and just not get in the car with him again🤷🏻‍♀️

Doubt he would have enjoyed it nearly so much without OP in the car. I’d be tempted to tell his wife - not in a complaining way, more in an excited, ‘you’ll never guess what …’ kind of way.

MaxTalk · 07/11/2022 10:00

CecilyP · 07/11/2022 09:27

Yes, he could have availed himself of the opportunity before picking up OP. He did it specifically because OP was in the car, to show off or to unnerve her.

No he didn't, you are completely wrong. It was the last opportunity to slide it about before hitting the main road where he needed to drive sensibly (which he did) so had a bit of a play.

"Showing off" and "unnerving" her didn't ever his mind. He has a great car and wants to enjoy it whenever the opportunity presents itself.

CeCeDrake · 07/11/2022 10:17

My very sensible, responsible, hard working, fun and mischievous husband would NEVER miss this opportunity.
We are perfectly happy, although a ‘you scared the shit out of me you dick’ probably would have been the most appropriate response here!
you could tell his wife but his mischievous character is most likely a large part of why she enjoys him - speaking as a mischievous persons partner!

Hollowgast · 07/11/2022 10:41

He should have warned you but in an empty car park there was little risk. A few years ago our team at work was sent home due to incoming snow. I was stuck working on something and so there was a thin layer on the ground when I got to my car. A rear wheel drive car and an empty, snowy carpark. I was unlikely to get a similar opportunity so made the most of it and it was tremendous fun. His wife probable knows he does this

illtellyouwhatiwantwhatireallyreallywant · 07/11/2022 10:52

*No he didn't, you are completely wrong. It was the last opportunity to slide it about before hitting the main road where he needed to drive sensibly (which he did) so had a bit of a play.

"Showing off" and "unnerving" her didn't ever his mind. He has a great car and wants to enjoy it whenever the opportunity presents itself.*

I love it when a mind reader enters the chat.