Sick to death of hearing about people's cancer

[MiserableCow2022]

I've name changed for this one because I'm pretty sure I'm going to get massive abuse for it but I'm a regular poster.
What the title says, I am sick to death of everybody and their brothers cancer or other appalling disease being postered up in every magazine and newspaper all of the time with week by week progress of their dying. This morning headline news was another "celeb" and her cancer.
I feel sorry for her, I'm not a monster but that's for her and her family to deal with it isn't headline news.
I've had a terrible sad life with lots of abuse and illness and I've lost no less than 9 lovely people who were very close to me over the last three years so I've had loads of grief too on top of my own health problems which I choose not to broadcast to the nation or go on about on mumsnet or facebook.
Isn't life just shit enough for everyone now without reading about people's terminal illnesses every single day - it's enough to make you want to just end it all.
I don't find people like bowelbabe inspiring, she is gone and her children are motherless and we all had to watch her dying and shrinking bit by bit, nor do I find Sarah Beany's bald head refreshing or inspiring.
I just wish they could just keep it it to themselves and their families.
Everytime I look at the papers I think it's going to be me next.
When I grew up people with a terminal illness just got on with it and retreated into the bosom of their families to die and I wish they would do that now. That is certainly what I am going to do.
People will be informed of my terminal decline only after I've gone. I have no intention of rubbing their noses in it everyday.
I want to die with dignity away from the public gaze and not drag anyone else down with me.
I think part of the reason people do the public thing is because they are terrified of dying and can't accept it and going public distracts them.
AIBU?

YANBU OP, I completely agree, although tbh I suspect we're in the wrong as everyone should of course be able to deal with their own illness and/or death in whatever way they want.

My best friend died from cancer in her early 20s, the same week as Jade Goody. It was awful - aside from her friends and family being unable to escape the topic, at a time when she needed easy light reading every magazine was full of Jade and thus not suitable.

I'm fed up of seeing Kate Garraways, husband journey aswell.

Yes I feel his public journey is not of his choice

FYI but you can say you are not interested in certain topics with some types of social media. There is a list of 'your interests' in the setting in Facebook and you can remove ones you aren't interested in. With tactic you can mark tick-tock's that you aren't interested in and there's something similar with instagram.

OP, YANBU

Talking more openly about cancer and making it less 'taboo' encourages more awareness and early diagnosis, which we know leads to a more hopeful prognosis. So I think it's a good thing that there is more openess and publicity. However, if it's a trigger for you, I do understand your reaction. YABU if you think people with a terminal illness should hide away and die. Whether someone has a terminal prognosis, or not life is for living, and making the most of however people choose to do it.

Oh OP I totally get it

i don’t see much media but that sounds annoying

my father was ill about a year before he was obliged to tell friends due to his appearance. He very much took
the view that it’s good to have fun while you can and didn’t want to be the guy listing all his ailments! Neither would I. There was some upset about him doing as you say, retreating to the bosom of his family to die but I think everyone understood and he didn’t want to be seen in his decline.

I think privacy and discretion are a bit underrated.

My mum has terminal cancer and my dad who is no longer here also had Cancer. This thread is offensive and distasteful. Let’s all live in a happy bubble and hide away from reality shall we, FFS

Some people are just jealous of other people getting attention.

These posters obviously don’t have many people who care about them.

That is obvious in this case as OP felt the need to mention what she’s had to go through herself - doing exactly the same as what she’s claiming to hate.

Half of the names the comments are moaning about I’ve never even heard of.

So it sounds like PPs just have nothing better to do than to spend all day on the internet and then moan about it.

Agreed.

50% of people in the UK born after 1960 will be diagnosed with some form of cancer during their lifetime.

And 100% of people will die at some point.

That's an awful lot of people expected to privately shut themselves away.

The attitude to death in developed countries seems quite unnatural.

My best friend died of cancer.
She was stoic but honest. She didnt shy away from the detail and yet was private. God I miss her.

I do get what OP meant about BowelBabe, and there were a few times when i thought, 'It's not just you'. I found her husband and parents being in the papers immediately after her death somewhat distasteful; quoting the letters to her children was unjustified.

I have another friend who loves to talk about people and their ailments. At least once a month she'll message to say that her work colleague's husband sister has died or been diagnosed with something fatal. When I was being tested for something serious she was clearly gutted I wasnt very ill - I imagine her work colleagues were going to hear all about my illness!

My Facebook page seems to be full of friends with cancer (well 2 actually but prolific posters) and I find it distressing. I won't mute them because they need my support but I just wish they wouldn't

Came back to this post. I have a serious illness in my family right now- not cancer- and I have told nobody about it except my mum and sis. Not a soul. Not put it on social media either. My mum and sis are not in this country, so I feel quite alone but am struggling on. I am quite private and don't put anything personal on social media.

Sometimes I wish I could talk about it openly; maybe it would help. Maybe that is why people talk about it on FB and elsewhere. To get the courage to go on.

Oh poor you 🙄

This thread is really unpleasant, I’ve reported it too. Hope it gets zapped.

Do people in real life say ‘shame on you’? Every time I see it on Mumsnet it makes the poster, in my mind, sound like some kind of unhinged church elder.

Anyway, I can kind of understand what you are saying OP. Personally, I have quite bad health anxiety and reading about terminal illness panics me. That being said, these people are going through a horrible illness and raising awareness and often funds so they should do as they wish and good luck to them.

Why? If you don’t want to read it. Hide it. You don’t have to read it.

@MissyB1 Thank you

Honestly, just how inconvenient of your ‘friends’ to ruin your Facebook scroll.

@Ekátn OP can do the same then surely?

Thank yourself lucky you are not in that person’s shoes. Stay off Facebook.

Ironic that a thread where people have cancer and have otherwise been impacted by it, and are authentically sharing their opinions in agreement with the OP must be silenced because some people think they’re not being kind enough…..

Why are only some peoples thoughts, opinions and feelings valid, and not others?

Bumping this now that it's been reinstated as I know a number of us found it all interesting discussion. I'm working and will check in later.

This is a very interesting discussion. I am not sure how I feel about it but its been interesting to read everyone's views.

Yes, to an extent. When it’s on TV, in papers and on any social media you may come across. It’s more difficult.

Far more difficult than hiding ONE thread on MN. What did you get out trying to stop op and others on here from having an opinion?

So glad @mnhq reinstated this.