Sick to death of hearing about people's cancer

[MiserableCow2022]

I've name changed for this one because I'm pretty sure I'm going to get massive abuse for it but I'm a regular poster.
What the title says, I am sick to death of everybody and their brothers cancer or other appalling disease being postered up in every magazine and newspaper all of the time with week by week progress of their dying. This morning headline news was another "celeb" and her cancer.
I feel sorry for her, I'm not a monster but that's for her and her family to deal with it isn't headline news.
I've had a terrible sad life with lots of abuse and illness and I've lost no less than 9 lovely people who were very close to me over the last three years so I've had loads of grief too on top of my own health problems which I choose not to broadcast to the nation or go on about on mumsnet or facebook.
Isn't life just shit enough for everyone now without reading about people's terminal illnesses every single day - it's enough to make you want to just end it all.
I don't find people like bowelbabe inspiring, she is gone and her children are motherless and we all had to watch her dying and shrinking bit by bit, nor do I find Sarah Beany's bald head refreshing or inspiring.
I just wish they could just keep it it to themselves and their families.
Everytime I look at the papers I think it's going to be me next.
When I grew up people with a terminal illness just got on with it and retreated into the bosom of their families to die and I wish they would do that now. That is certainly what I am going to do.
People will be informed of my terminal decline only after I've gone. I have no intention of rubbing their noses in it everyday.
I want to die with dignity away from the public gaze and not drag anyone else down with me.
I think part of the reason people do the public thing is because they are terrified of dying and can't accept it and going public distracts them.
AIBU?

The point in many is cancer isn’t a death sentence and will impact us all so normalising the conversation tends to be the reason behind it. I also think people cope differently, and that’s okay.
the bowel babe story hit me and brought up sad memories, I cried. But that’s okay. It’s okay to feel feelings. Sarah Beeny isn’t terminal, she has breast cancer and wants to show others what that means and that she’s still her. Should she hide away? That wouldn’t be her. Plus I assume she may need an income? Just because someone is wealthy doesn’t mean than can survive with no income for a year.

I hate it! I can’t walk by a bus shelter but there’s a cancer advert. Local library - Cancer posters. Every second advert everywhere on tv - cancer. I can’t take it. I can’t go for a walk but there’s adverts on billboards, even when my ds was at school it was fund raising for cancer…. It genuinely contributes so much to my anxiety, it’s too much!

I've had a terrible sad life with lots of abuse and illness and I've lost no less than 9 lovely people who were very close to me over the last three years so I've had loads of grief too on top of my own health problems which I choose not to broadcast to the nation or go on about on mumsnet or facebook.

Well you have just broadcast it.

It honestly sounds like you are spending too much time online.

Social media is known to get you down because it’s either full of people with apparently perfect lives or moaning about how crap and worse off their lives are compared to everyone else.

Honestly, reduce your SM usage and you’ll feel so much better.

On MN you do not need to click on a thread related to health.
On Facebook you don’t need to read about the celebs.

I’ve had breast cancer and during my treatment I’ve felt as if I’ve been bombarded with a constant stream of cancer related stories and charity adverts. There was a Breast Cancer Now stall at the shops and the woman persuaded me to give monthly despite me telling her I was undergoing treatment at the time.
I understand awareness should be raised but I have t enjoyed the constant reminders of my illness.

In some ways they do bring awareness of sign's to look for. I had an abusive childhood myself, was sexually abused. I had put off going for my smear for a couple of years. It was because of Jade Goody that I actually went.

A couple of weeks later I had a letter to say I had pre cancerous cells. I had to go for a colposcopy to remove the cells and they took a biopsy and pictures etc. They just said I will get the results in 6 weeks. It was actually 10 week's I waited but no cancer was found and they managed to remove all affected tissue.

But if I had put it off any longer I wouldn't be here today.

But there is a celeb who is from where I live recently found out he has cancer. Until a few years ago he had a house here and often visited. But there are at least 2 or 3 days a week of an update in the local paper.

I must admit he does stick up for our town when we are slated in the media. But today there is yet another one about a Jimmy Carr jibe unrelated to his cancer. I did read that article because I can't stand Jimmy Carr and now I hate him even more. He laughs at his own jokes he's just not funny.

We're a small northern working class town. We don't have many celebs from here.

I too am a very private person, those who need to know, know and those who don't, don't.

If OP doesn't like it then she could just not read it?! No one is forcing her to read it! If you're a public figure then your life is public - that's what being a public figure means. OP is asking people to literally hide themselves away from their life because she doesn't like them living it when they're ill. OP is not only incredibly unreasonable, she's a complete and total hypocrite too (for seeking sympathy here for something a million miles less stressful and difficult than having cancer. Poor OP for having to READ about cancer - people actually suffering with it really shouldn't be so selfish as to put her through that, right?

Do you really, genuinely think it is better than people with cancer should be forced to hide their cancer and suffer in silence rather than OP have to not actively look up and read about it?! OP is choosing to read about it - she's choosing to follow it. The person with cancer isn't choosing to have cancer. OP is causing her own (minor) misery and expecting people with real problems to shut up so she doesn't have to take any responsibility for not causing her own misery. It's pathetic to be honest.

What I think is insane is:

My step/ father being repeatedly told his symptoms were constipation - he died of liver cancer secondary to stomach cancer an was only diagnosed when referred shoulder pain became an issue.

My friend dying of bladder cancer that metastised to her brain because her symptoms were dismissed as neuroses.

My mother being dicked around on the Fodmap diet for three years before they agreed to look at HRT for her tiredness (in her 70s) and a blood test found her stage 4 cancer by accident.

Thats the insanity if you ask me, that’s where the awareness raising should be going on.

And now, post pandemic, it’s getting worse.

So good luck with getting the diagnosis and being able to talk about it and do great things if you’re average Jo or Joanna.

Bitter? Too fucking right.

My mum has terminal cancer and my dad who is no longer here also had Cancer. This thread is offensive and distasteful. Let’s all live in a happy bubble and hide away from reality shall we, FFS 🙄

@Mummbles I disagree that she can "just not read it". It is everywhere now and that's what OP and many others on this thread who agree with her are talking about.

I have just reported this thread and asked to have it removed.

I also disagree that public figures have no say on what is seen about them in public.

Well f**ing said!!!

Honestly some of the reposes on here are ludicrous.

Hope all goes as well as it can with your investigations💐Do not let tone def threads like these stop you from feeling comfortable about speaking about your situation.

What a bitch!!
Well thanks your lucky stars you’re not suffering!!
im on steroids that keep me awake all night. I can’t look after my little grandchildren independently. I can no longer drive. I’m almost blind due to my brain tumour, lost all my beautiful long hair now it’s grey short and curly.
I cannot believe what you’ve written!!!!

Celebrities have every right to share their cancer stories, it’s not going to change, I’m very glad people aren’t expected to hide away and not talk about it. Sorry if you don’t like it.

Why? Do you think everyone who agrees with the OP on this thread (of which there are many - and a number actually living with cancer right now at this very minute) are being offensive?

And for the people who have said it’s bad for their anxiety. Dear lord, get a grip.

That’s not fair. If you don’t like it, you can hide it. Can you not see the hypocrisy of trying to silence the OP for saying she finds hearing about something constantly upsetting?

There is an awful, overwhelming helplessness associated with this disease and all it’s ramifications.

There is so little we can do in the real face of it. We can hold space, hug, empathise and do what we can for sufferers we know but it’s a disease we cannot apparently cure or eradicate…..

I will sit and talk and hug people and cry in private. But I’m only human.

It’s a huge shitty emotive subject. There is no right or wrong, that’s true, but when it starts to feel suffocating are we not allowed to process and vent?

The OP has highlighted how the curated media version of “caring” about cancer can be jarring in the face of our grief and impotence. That is valid too.

This is what happened to Sarah Harding from Girls Aloud. She had to go public with her cancer after being papped receiving treatment.

I find your attitude much much more depressing than people looking for support when fighting such a nasty disease.

I completely agree with you @MiserableCow2022 . I've had cancer, my sister died from it. I don't want to be reminded of cancer and having it shoved down my throat. Thank you for your bravery in raising this.

It's not everywhere though is it? I haven't seen a single picture of Sarah Beeny and only know about BowelBabe because I ran a marathon for Bowel Cancer UK. If OP doesn't want to read the news she could not read the news. If OP doesn't want to see people's lives on social media then she could not use it - it's literally what social media is for!

I absolutely agree OP.

There are so many variations - half of the reality type shows have somebody with a sad story. Every time we turn the TV on (Aus) there is another story. Social media is a veritable barrage of stories.

My family have been affected by tragedy - as have countless others - much like you I don't need reminding every five minutes of the day that it is likely to strike at anytime.

It's so hard. Not everybody can be a cancer warrior and I for one don't need or want to one or hear about it.