Parents! What do you miss most before children

[californiakiss]

What do you miss most before you had your kids

Independence

Freedom

Open ended activities. Go for a drink after work, turns into dinner, turns into whatever. Now everything is on the clock and a delay of just five mins at the wrong time can fuck up an entire day. I hate that.

My marriage.
On a lighter note, only saying a sentence once.

Absolutely everything.

Absolutely everything.

Having absolutely nothing and no one completely dependent on me.

Spontaneity.

as I’m still recovering from covid I’m going with being able to have a rest day when I’m sick without having to look after a tiny human.

that and time for hobbies

The theatre. We still go sometimes, but a babysitter adds about £100 to the price, so we don't take chances on quirky stuff as often.

Basically waiting out the 9-10 years before DD can come to a bit of Ibsen at the National with us.

Two weeks away spending days on a beautiful beach reading books, swimming in the sea on my own going as far out as I like with nobody panicking that that can't see me, then lying in a dozey haze in the warm sunshine to dry off with nobody asking me to build sandcastles. Not having to speak to anybody, then out for a lazy dinner and wine after a long hot and uninterrupted shower, and getting up when I wake up naturally and repeat 14 times. The food of my sanity, now completely lost.

I am a lone parent so it'll be more than a decade before this is possible again.

Sleep. A good relationship.

Uninterrupted sleep and time just to myself.
Saying that as I'm up at 2am as one of the DC has decided no more sleep tonight. Yawn.

Exercise. There just isn't the child free time. I miss it so much.

The lack of real worry about anyone other than myself really.

I find the responsibly and worry I have about my child a massive burden. I fret about them and their future (hence the 4am post).

The freedom to go out and do things spontaneously. More time and energy for self care. Just being able to go out and walk for hours.

Sleep.

Sleep. Spontaneity. The ability to run to the shops
Quickly without having to pack nappy bags and strap everyone into the car etc.

Silence
watching adult shows
not cleaning the entire kitchen 4 times a day
being able to hear each other speak
SLEEP
’coming around’ when waking up rather than being thrown straight in.
re wearing clothes the next day
not doing 5 loads of laundry a day
eating meals…hot
eating my own food
being able to shower when I like
my hands not disintegrating from constant washing
not having to change 6 shitty nappies a day
not shouting’ NO DIRTY’ 40 times a day
going to the toilet alone
foreign holidays
beijh able to sit on the sofa without being climbed like a tree
not feeling guilty all the damn time
not making 6 meals a day
being able to mentally switch off
owning ornaments on display
the house being clean/tidy
not going to bed at 8pm to wake up at 4:30am

I have 2 toddlers

Being spontaneous and sleep

Being able to rest when ill and actually recover properly

A long lie when you feel like it!

Coming home from work and doing nothing

Being able to do what I want when I want. Drinks with friends? Off I pop. Gym session after work? Great.

All of this.

I’m exhausted, broke and a shadow of my former self.

DC are 7 & 9. I thought it would get easier as they get older. It does it some ways but in other ways it is even more challenging.

I often wonder what my life would have been like without children.

Money (that now goes to nursery). Not worrying about someone so intensely. Sleep. Dinners / evenings out.

Worth it though.