Taking aunts offer to buy her house cheaply when my sister wants/needs it more?

[Anonquestion125]

When my husband and I were at my aunts a couple months ago we talked to her about how we were looking into buying our first house. My aunt after inquiring what our price limit was asked if we would buy her house. Her house is a beautiful five bedroom and was out of our price range. She however said she would sell it to us for far less. Her husband died a couple years ago and she said she had wanted to move back to Scotland and live with her sister, but had only been holding off because she didn’t want to sell her house to strangers.

I have always loved this house and have lots of fond childhood memories of the please, so we had the house inspected and it’s in really good condition. Even after calculating the extra expenses associated a home of this size it’s still a great deal. So we accepted my aunts offer.

My sister found out and she is upset because she knew that I knew she and her husband were also looking into buying a house and that I should have brought the offer to her first since since she has a larger family and a greater need for more space.

This whole situation has been brought to my aunts attention and she has said that my sister can have the house if I say no, but it’s completely up to me and she doesn’t want to get any more involved and refused to talk about it more.

My main thought on why we should have the house is that my aunt had said she didn’t want to sell the house to strangers. Yes, my sister isn’t technically a stranger, but she very rarely ever goes to visit our aunt (maybe twice a year). Meanwhile me, my husband, and our daughter visit my aunt regularly. Usually twice a month. My husband goes by even more often to help her with any heavy duty chores or to fix things.

My sister says that bringing that up is unfair because she doesn’t have as much free time to visit our aunt as she has four kids all under the age of 10 and no help while I only have one and my mother in law helps out a lot with childcare.

Who says the sister would ever be the aunt's heir? She's not obliged to leave bequests to her nieces. What a ridiculous idea -- that the OP would somehow be eroding her sister's future inheritance.

Also ridiculous is the notion that the aunt has no idea what she is doing, or that she "needs" full market value for the house. There's no indication of that.

She loves OP and wants to give her a break, in return for the peace of mind of knowing that family will still reside in the house and that OP is very fond of the house. She's not obliged to give the same break to any other family members.

It was wrong, though, to tell aunt about the sister's demands; I hope the OP wasn't the one to burden her with that.

Depends how much less the OP's aunt is selling it for. Real value: roughly £190K (maybe it's up north/in Telford/Stoke etc...) and she is selling it her for £160K. OR is it £600K, and she is selling it for £300K.

Big difference.

I suspect it's closer to the latter, and yes it COULD cause repercussions on the future.

I always wonder this about equity release. Like what the OP's aunt is doing, it could result in a case of 'deprivation of assets?' I know nothing about it, so I really don't know. Never looked into it.

I fully understand your sister being upset but this is not her decision and it doesn’t mean you are unfair to go ahead. It is your Aunt’s house and wishes not your sisters, or yours. She has said she can buy it if you say no. She wants you to have first refusal for whatever reason and that is ok. I’d think yourself lucky here and try not to be guilt tripped!

Why did you tell your sister in the first place? It’s a private financial arrangement between you and your aunt.

I wondered this too. How does she know about it?

My mum mortgaged her house (she owned outright) in order to buy another for my brother. I have no idea how much was involved, it's none of my business. I haven't even tried to find out as it's no concern of mine.

Sorry, but no one is entitled to a house that provides a separate bedroom for each child. Maybe sis should have matched her reproductive choices to her economic situation, if that were important to her.

Bedrooms can be used as offices, yoga / exercise studios, guest rooms, libraries, storage, extra closets -- the list goes on. No one need feel guilty if they are able to buy the amount of space that suits their lifestyle.

Sister clamoring to horn in on a good deal when she couldn't be bothered with aunt up to now is such a sign of low character. OP and her husband clearly deserve it more.

If you really want to buy it and don’t want to piss your sister off, you can either give her some of the money you saved or let her think you have discussed it with your aunt and have decided you’re buying it at market value because you really love the house. This way she won’t feel as if you’ve got an advantage over her.

I imagine the OP's sister knows about it because the OP told her!

If I was the aunt I would probably sell it on the open market. The difference of what she would have sold to either of you and what she gets for it I would then share between you both, so that maybe she can help you both out with a bit of a deposit.

I can understand your sister being jealous , who wouldn’t be! I’m jealous! I wish I had an aunt with a big house, willing to undersell it to me! But your sister is being unfair, in trying to steal your good fortune because she ‘needs it more’. If you won the lottery would she demand you gave it to her because her need is greater? Presumably she isn’t destitute, under threat from homelessness? She just wants a bigger house than you because she has more
kids. Well sorry sis. This good fortune is yours.Ashe should be thankful for what she does have. I’m sure she would rather have her 4 kids in a small house, than only 1 kid in a big house.

The aunt was wrong to offer it to you without thinking about your sister.

Imagine a mother doing the same with her off spring. It would breed resentment.

I think neither of you should have it, it should go to the market and your aunt should keep the money.

And if she wants to contribute to you both being able to improve your position on the property ladder, give you both an equal sum of inheritance to help you do that.

Your sister sounds like a petulant brat. You've done more for your aunt and she's keen for you to have the house so crack on!

The aunt is not making this move in order to drum up money to share among her relatives.

She's doing it for her OWN peace of mind, as she wants to downsize but doesn't want to sell to strangers. That is right in the original post, so why do people continue to push this "sell it on the open market" notion. The aunt has ruled that out of her own volition.

And maybe she doesn't even like GreedySis. She's under no obligation to distribute assets with her.

I have young relatives that I feel quite generous toward and others I woudn't give the price of a bottle of water. They aren't equals.

Absolutely this! Don't be greedy! You can gain a lot materially but lose your sister and her family. Also it will always look as if you unfairly influenced your aunt whether that's true or not.

It's not the OP's fault that her sister chooses to have a lot of children! It would be wrong to go against the Aunt's preferred buyer especially as the OP and her husband are far closer to her and have been more supportive.
However I think they need to be careful, if the Aunt in later years needs a care home the authorities will look at her assets and could decide she undervalued the house and call it depletion of assests. Keep her alive for at least seven years to avoid this!

Buy the house, OP!

Don’t let your bratty sister reap the benefits of the time you and DH have spent with aunt that has made aunt offer this incredibly generous gesture.

Your sister can sort her own life out and whose to say you won’t have 4 kids in future too (apologies if this is insensitive).

The sister isn’t wanting to be treated “reasonably equally” - she wants the cheaper house for herself I.e she thinks she should benefit over the OP.

There’s nothing in that stance that says equality.

The offer was made to you because you've helped her out, your sister hasn't. If she wanted to offer it to your sister first she would have. I'd buy it, why should your sister buy it over you?

This.

Depending on your aunts age and/or prospective care needs, selling at a below market price could potentially be viewed as deprivation of assets by the courts.

@ZeldaWillTellYourFortune yes but just because her aunt has had that thought doesn't mean it's the right thing to do.

Has she sought any advice? Thought of her other options? Is she even compos mentis?

Sounds like an ill thought out idea on her part.

Also, if the roles were reversed would your sister give the house up for you? I think I'd be guided by what her actions would be. If you think she'd give it up in an instant for you, I'd reluctantly do the same. On the other hand if she'd bite your aunt's hand of without a second thought for you...

BUY IT!!!

absolutely. Why ever not?

would your sister do it for you? She’s offered it to you. So why not take the offer. Your sister hasn’t been offered it yet except for if you say no. So don’t say no?

There are legal ramifications to selling a property to a family member for less than market value.

You can't just do it.

It can be viewed by HMRC as an attempt to avoid capital gains tax, stamp duty or inheritance tax. So you need to be very careful and speak to a solictor about it.

It was offered to you first. Your sister’s position of having more children was her choice. You should accept and pretend that you paid for it at market value.

But the other sister doesn't want her aunt to do this, she wants the house for herself instead!