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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Taking aunts offer to buy her house cheaply when my sister wants/needs it more?

295 replies

Anonquestion125 · 03/11/2022 18:03

When my husband and I were at my aunts a couple months ago we talked to her about how we were looking into buying our first house. My aunt after inquiring what our price limit was asked if we would buy her house. Her house is a beautiful five bedroom and was out of our price range. She however said she would sell it to us for far less. Her husband died a couple years ago and she said she had wanted to move back to Scotland and live with her sister, but had only been holding off because she didn’t want to sell her house to strangers.

I have always loved this house and have lots of fond childhood memories of the please, so we had the house inspected and it’s in really good condition. Even after calculating the extra expenses associated a home of this size it’s still a great deal. So we accepted my aunts offer.

My sister found out and she is upset because she knew that I knew she and her husband were also looking into buying a house and that I should have brought the offer to her first since since she has a larger family and a greater need for more space.

This whole situation has been brought to my aunts attention and she has said that my sister can have the house if I say no, but it’s completely up to me and she doesn’t want to get any more involved and refused to talk about it more.

My main thought on why we should have the house is that my aunt had said she didn’t want to sell the house to strangers. Yes, my sister isn’t technically a stranger, but she very rarely ever goes to visit our aunt (maybe twice a year). Meanwhile me, my husband, and our daughter visit my aunt regularly. Usually twice a month. My husband goes by even more often to help her with any heavy duty chores or to fix things.

My sister says that bringing that up is unfair because she doesn’t have as much free time to visit our aunt as she has four kids all under the age of 10 and no help while I only have one and my mother in law helps out a lot with childcare.

OP posts:
Obki · 03/11/2022 19:45

RedToothBrush · 03/11/2022 19:44

There are legal ramifications to selling a property to a family member for less than market value.

You can't just do it.

It can be viewed by HMRC as an attempt to avoid capital gains tax, stamp duty or inheritance tax. So you need to be very careful and speak to a solictor about it.

Please don’t put the OP off. This is a fantastic opportunity.

ZeldaWillTellYourFortune · 03/11/2022 19:46

There is no indication that the aunt is senile.

The aunt is under zero obligation to treat these relatives equally or to provide anything whatsoever to the sister.

The aunt is the one who asked OP her price range and THEN came up with the offer to sell the house to OP at a price the OP could afford. She is not being scammed or coerced.

For all we know the aunt has millions and no worries about care homes. Most people know about depletion of assets and factor that in to their planning.

The idea that the sister's presumptuous demands and tantrum require anyone else to change their plans is ridiculous.

JustLyra · 03/11/2022 19:46

Obki · 03/11/2022 19:45

Please don’t put the OP off. This is a fantastic opportunity.

Pointing out that there can be legal ramifications is not attempting to put her off - it’s making sure that a fantastic opportunity doesn’t become a nightmare for the OP or her aunt.

WallaceinAnderland · 03/11/2022 19:47

TomTraubertsBlues · 03/11/2022 19:04

It's not the house that is being sqabbled over, it's the discount - effectively a massive financial gift.

Tough. The gift was offered to OP, not the sister.

NameChangeLifeChange · 03/11/2022 19:47

I’d buy it

Roselilly36 · 03/11/2022 19:48

This type of transaction, can cause a family split. Be careful.

ZeldaWillTellYourFortune · 03/11/2022 19:48

ermana · 03/11/2022 19:42

@ZeldaWillTellYourFortune yes but just because her aunt has had that thought doesn't mean it's the right thing to do.

Has she sought any advice? Thought of her other options? Is she even compos mentis?

Sounds like an ill thought out idea on her part.

Umm, it is 100-percent up to the aunt to decide what is "the right thing to do" with her own private property. And she has made her wishes clear.

When was the last time the sister and HER husband were over at the aunt's doing chores and DIY? Or even just visiting? We reap what we sow.

expat101 · 03/11/2022 19:49

How did your sister find out?

you are not responsible for house hunting for her, anymore than she is for you. Whatever her needs, there is no need for her to guilt trip you when the position she finds herself in is of her own doing.

However moving on, neither of you will be long term happy over whatever choice you make, so you do the right thing for you.

perhaos if your aunt is financial enough, she might wish to make a gift to your sister in lieu…

AnotherEmma · 03/11/2022 19:50

OP, are you planning/hoping to have any more children?
I do think that if you stay a family of 3, having 5 bedrooms would be excessive and unnecessary.

I agree with PPs that aunt should sell the house at market value and give you and your sister a contribution to help each of you with house deposits... but she will need to seek financial advice first as PPs have said.

Alertthecorgis · 03/11/2022 19:51

I bet your sister would bite her hand off if the shoe was on the other foot. It sounds like you’re close to your aunt. I’d investigate any legal issues with her selling you the house for less than it’s worth but aside from that, I’d buy the house.

CarefreeMe · 03/11/2022 19:51

But the other sister doesn't want her aunt to do this, she wants the house for herself instead!

It sounds like the sister and OP are money grabbers and both as bad each other.

OP has been offered the house because her and her DH apparently care about her more than the sister - yet not enough to offer her anywhere near the market value for her home.

Obki · 03/11/2022 19:52

JustLyra · 03/11/2022 19:46

Pointing out that there can be legal ramifications is not attempting to put her off - it’s making sure that a fantastic opportunity doesn’t become a nightmare for the OP or her aunt.

That wasn’t OP’s question and we don’t even know how much less OP would pay.

We had a neighbour sell her house for 35% less than its value to a friend with no issue. I’m sure OP will have a solicitor.

Riverlee · 03/11/2022 19:53

How much lower than market value? Will other relatives feel that you are ‘stealing’ their inheritance? Or be entitled to less when she passes away (although I know her will supersedes what people think they will inherit).

The aunt offered the house to you, so your sister has no claim. The number of children is irrelevant - that’s her choice.

rach2713 · 03/11/2022 19:53

Whats the chance you let sister buy the house from aunt for cheap then a few years later your sister sells the house for full asking price or if not more then she has made a good profit on the house and sold it to strangers and your still in the same the boat as you first started..

mauvish · 03/11/2022 19:54

I'd go for it.It doesn't sound as though your relationship with your sister is that great; and why on earth should she have it instead of you?

If your aunt was selling it on the open market and wanting to divvy up the profits between you, then you could argue that you could/should share and share alike. But you can't both buy the house, so if only one of you does, then clearly your aunt chose you.

I'm presuming your aunt has no children of her own?

The other thing to consider is getting good legal advice. How old is your aunt, and how is her health? If she basically gifts you a large sum (and underselling a house would count) but then survives for 7 years, there will be no effect on inheritance tax on the estate. If she were to die within the next 3 years, it could be held against the estate (that's the estate, not against you as an individual. How much that would matter migh depend on the value of the residual estate). If she were to die within the next 4-7 years, then the value is titrated down over that period.

The rules regarding paying for social and nursing care are different in Scotland from those in England. You would need to find out any possible effects there, should your aunt need to move into a home in the forseeable future - but I have a feeling that the Scottish rules may be more relaxed than the English ones(but I'm not in Scotland so don't take my word for it!)

Vikinga · 03/11/2022 19:55

You and your husband have been there for her with no ulterior motive. You deserve it more. If I was your aunt, I'd want to give it to you.

The aunt doesn't want it sold, which would be the next best thing, to sell it and split the proceeds so you both get money towards a house.

Whinge · 03/11/2022 19:55

rach2713 · 03/11/2022 19:53

Whats the chance you let sister buy the house from aunt for cheap then a few years later your sister sells the house for full asking price or if not more then she has made a good profit on the house and sold it to strangers and your still in the same the boat as you first started..

I reckon there's less chance of the sister selling it in a few years time given the size of her family, if anything the OP is more likely to sell the house and downsize.

Topsyturvy78 · 03/11/2022 19:56

There's a few things you need to consider as well. Interest rates rising would you be able to keep up with the mortgage payments? As well as possible increase in council tax and the cost of energy bills and food on top of that.

GettingItOutThere · 03/11/2022 19:56

Aquamarine1029 · 03/11/2022 18:09

Your aunt offered the house to you. You have a much closer relationship with your aunt than your sister does. You should definitely buy that house. You'd be crazy to pass up this opportunity.

this!!

buy the house!!!!

MeanMrMustardSeed · 03/11/2022 19:57

Def but it. No brainer to me.

imacatmeow · 03/11/2022 19:57

Your sister is taking the piss. The offer would never have existed if you weren't the one visiting her.

I can't believe the selfishness of her, trying to take your house sale lol. And how does she know you won't have more children?

Buy the house yourself op. I can guarantee your sister wouldn't have put you first in the same situation.

imacatmeow · 03/11/2022 19:58

Topsyturvy78 · 03/11/2022 19:56

There's a few things you need to consider as well. Interest rates rising would you be able to keep up with the mortgage payments? As well as possible increase in council tax and the cost of energy bills and food on top of that.

I think the op knows her own financial situation

JustLyra · 03/11/2022 19:58

Obki · 03/11/2022 19:52

That wasn’t OP’s question and we don’t even know how much less OP would pay.

We had a neighbour sell her house for 35% less than its value to a friend with no issue. I’m sure OP will have a solicitor.

It’s a pertinent point that should be thought of.

if the op wants to disregard it she can, I’m sure she doesn’t need you policing what other people post for her.

Maytodecember · 03/11/2022 19:59

When you ( or your sister) go to a lawyer or conveyancer you will be asked if you are in way connected to the vendor. You then have to declare that you are buying at market value ( or close to). Unless the law has changed in the last 25 years.
I think it’s to prevent buyers avoiding Stamp Duty and maybe sellers avoiding Capital Gains if it’s not their sole property. I think you’d be wise to consult a solicitor first.

BMW6 · 03/11/2022 20:00

RedToothBrush · 03/11/2022 19:44

There are legal ramifications to selling a property to a family member for less than market value.

You can't just do it.

It can be viewed by HMRC as an attempt to avoid capital gains tax, stamp duty or inheritance tax. So you need to be very careful and speak to a solictor about it.

This. There are tax ramifications to be looked into. Please look into this properly at HMRC before going any further.