Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Taking aunts offer to buy her house cheaply when my sister wants/needs it more?

295 replies

Anonquestion125 · 03/11/2022 18:03

When my husband and I were at my aunts a couple months ago we talked to her about how we were looking into buying our first house. My aunt after inquiring what our price limit was asked if we would buy her house. Her house is a beautiful five bedroom and was out of our price range. She however said she would sell it to us for far less. Her husband died a couple years ago and she said she had wanted to move back to Scotland and live with her sister, but had only been holding off because she didn’t want to sell her house to strangers.

I have always loved this house and have lots of fond childhood memories of the please, so we had the house inspected and it’s in really good condition. Even after calculating the extra expenses associated a home of this size it’s still a great deal. So we accepted my aunts offer.

My sister found out and she is upset because she knew that I knew she and her husband were also looking into buying a house and that I should have brought the offer to her first since since she has a larger family and a greater need for more space.

This whole situation has been brought to my aunts attention and she has said that my sister can have the house if I say no, but it’s completely up to me and she doesn’t want to get any more involved and refused to talk about it more.

My main thought on why we should have the house is that my aunt had said she didn’t want to sell the house to strangers. Yes, my sister isn’t technically a stranger, but she very rarely ever goes to visit our aunt (maybe twice a year). Meanwhile me, my husband, and our daughter visit my aunt regularly. Usually twice a month. My husband goes by even more often to help her with any heavy duty chores or to fix things.

My sister says that bringing that up is unfair because she doesn’t have as much free time to visit our aunt as she has four kids all under the age of 10 and no help while I only have one and my mother in law helps out a lot with childcare.

OP posts:
SkylightSkylight · 03/11/2022 19:09

ilkleymoorbartat · 03/11/2022 18:35

Sell at market value and see if aunt will split the difference between what she was going to sell it for? Then you could give some to your sister?

The Aunt doesn't want to sell it to strangers, she wants to sell it to someone who loves the house! She offered it to the OP, who she has a hood relationship with, not grabby sister.

MayThe4th · 03/11/2022 19:09

Always amazes me when the posts on the thread bear absolutely no resemblance to the vote.

And as for the emotional blackmail being thrown at the OP that she should give the house to her sister or lose the relationship, that is pretty shit really.

I don’t think it’s fair that she is getting pushed out because she’s much busier than you and doesn’t get to see her aunt very often. a likely story. More likely that she has never bothered with the aunt and is now spinning the sob story that she is too busy because she’s an entitled cow.

OP, buy the house.

And really, if you were to lose the relationship with your sister over it then it says far more about her than it does about you.

Quitelikeit · 03/11/2022 19:10

Your sister really is trying to emotionally blackmail you here

it really is no fault of yours that your aunt has offered you this wonderful opportunity

I would grab it with both hands!!

it is very sad for your aunt that your sister has done this

may I ask how much cheaper you are getting it?

could your sister even afford a mortgage on it?

PayPennies · 03/11/2022 19:11

The price of this house is the sum total of

  1. The price your aunt has quoted
  2. Associated extras like stamp duty etc
  3. and the loss of the relationship with your sister.

if that total feels appealing to you you should go for it.

thenewduchessoflapland · 03/11/2022 19:11

You have a child;your child is entitled to a forever home;your sister doesn't trump your daughters needs because she has "more kids";you may yet have more children.

Your sister would happily leave her own sister,BIL and niece struggling to buy somewhere and expect you to okay with it but when the tables are turned she's being a brat about.

Your sister is an entitled CF;but the house from your beloved aunt.

EverywhereIgo · 03/11/2022 19:14

Buy it. It's wrong that your sister is guilt tripping you about having a smaller family than she does? You're closer to your Aunt and therefore makes sense that she wants you to have her house. Don't give in.

As for your relationship with sis, it's clear that she's only looking out for herself and not you, so you can do the same. Family, in some cases is over rated.

thenewduchessoflapland · 03/11/2022 19:15

Also as harsh as it sounds if your sisters current living isn't big enough for her family then she's the one who chose to bring additional children into that living situation,

Letthesunshineonin · 03/11/2022 19:16

Buy the house. You have been there for your aunt, supporting her and helping when needed. Your Sister hasn’t put any effort into developing a close relationship but still wants to trod all over your good fortune and grab the house.

unsync · 03/11/2022 19:16

Your sister doesn't sound very nice. What is your relationship like?

In your shoes, I would accept your aunt's very kind offer.

GreenlandShark · 03/11/2022 19:17

If the roles between you and your sister were reversed, how would you react?

Even if the sister does feel she has been unfairly treated, she should just swallow it and congratulate you with her integrity intact.

What if you want a larger family in the future? Your sister is essentially ruling that out.

Happyher · 03/11/2022 19:17

You Aunt offered to sell it to you and you want it so you should buy it. Your sister is displaying jealousy and sour grapes that you’ve had a bit iof luck. I would go ahead and buy it. Your sister needs to grow up

PurpleButterflyWings · 03/11/2022 19:20

I would bet a month's salary that your sister would snatch your aunt's hand off if the situation were reversed, and wouldn't think twice about you. She is clearly butthurt and sore that SHE hasn't been given the opportunity, but tough shit. If she was a decent person/good sister, she would -and should be happy for you.

@Anonquestion125 Buy the house off your aunt. If your sister is pissed off/goes NC, then that's her problem. Why should SHE get to have this house at a reduced price when YOU are the one who is in your aunt's life a lot more? Your aunt obviously wants YOU to have it, or she would not have offered it to you 'first.'

Ragruggers · 03/11/2022 19:21

Take legal advice.It could be seen at selling at a lower price to avoid tax and care home fees if needed in the future.

ZeldaWillTellYourFortune · 03/11/2022 19:21

MRex · 03/11/2022 18:36

Get the house valued (but ask for low-ball, you might need that anyway if it were seen as deprivation of assets) and give your sister 50% of the benefit, but you buy the house.

Nonsense. Why should aunt and the OP change their arrangement to benefit the grasping, selfish sister? Her only words should have been "Congratulations, enjoy your new home!"

mam0918 · 03/11/2022 19:22

So your a family of 3 (you, your 1 DD & DH?) planning on living in a 5 bed house while a family of 6 (DS, her 4 kids and DH?) has a house too small?

This is whats wrong with the housing market, 5 beds are VERY rare and those that need them are usually trapped by lack of availability, where as 2 or 3 bed (what you need) are the most common house lay out and readily availible all over.

ZeldaWillTellYourFortune · 03/11/2022 19:22

PayPennies · 03/11/2022 19:11

The price of this house is the sum total of

  1. The price your aunt has quoted
  2. Associated extras like stamp duty etc
  3. and the loss of the relationship with your sister.

if that total feels appealing to you you should go for it.

The sister is the one creating the hard feelings, NOT the OP.

mam0918 · 03/11/2022 19:24

Ragruggers · 03/11/2022 19:21

Take legal advice.It could be seen at selling at a lower price to avoid tax and care home fees if needed in the future.

Also from the title my first though was the tax man is gonna want his part of this inheretance scam too.

Pretty sure everyone would just 'give away' their houses to avoid having to sell them and pay if they could.

FleecyMcFleeceFace · 03/11/2022 19:25

The ethical thing to do would be to encourage your aunt to sell on the open market and use the money for herself.

If you're not going down that road, then buy it yourself. Your relationship with your sister is already trashed. DSis is demanding you give up this house so that she can have it cheap - which is selfish and unfair. And you and dh
are happy to take the house at way below what your aunt should be paid. Essentially you are taking money that sister might reasonably expect to inherit. You and DSis will never recover from that.

maryberryslayers · 03/11/2022 19:25

Of course you should have it. Your aunt wanted you to have it for less money than it's worth because of your close relationship. Your sister is just jealous and bitter. A good sister would be happy for you, not spitting her dummy out. Your aunt obviously feels obliged to offer your sister the same deal but it wouldn't be what she wants as the relationship isn't there.

ZeldaWillTellYourFortune · 03/11/2022 19:26

TomTraubertsBlues · 03/11/2022 18:50

If my sister accepted an offer like this rather than reasoning with the aunt to sell it on the open market and get the fair value, I'd be appalled.

Why?

I own a family vacation home. No way is it going to strangers in my lifetime; I'd much rather sell it at a discount to young relatives if they become interested, or even give it to them. It's not up to anyone else to be 'appalled' at my choice to do so.

I trust that the aunt knows her own financial situation, there is no reason to think she is some doddering fool, and that she can afford to accept a lower payment for the house. To her, for sentimental reasons, it's worth it.

MeridianB · 03/11/2022 19:26

Presumably she didn’t make this offer to your sister as she barely sees her. So it’s a bit rich for your sister to try to muscle in. Go ahead and buy it.

YellowHpok · 03/11/2022 19:27

🍿

GeorgeQuentin · 03/11/2022 19:28

mam0918 · 03/11/2022 19:22

So your a family of 3 (you, your 1 DD & DH?) planning on living in a 5 bed house while a family of 6 (DS, her 4 kids and DH?) has a house too small?

This is whats wrong with the housing market, 5 beds are VERY rare and those that need them are usually trapped by lack of availability, where as 2 or 3 bed (what you need) are the most common house lay out and readily availible all over.

Yes these were my thoughts.
Plus the whole taking advantage of the aunt thing, which both siblings are guilty of.

AbbieLexie · 03/11/2022 19:29

Can your sister afford to buy it?

NowNumber5 · 03/11/2022 19:29

Did your sister ever make an effort to visit your aunt when she only had one child?