Taking aunts offer to buy her house cheaply when my sister wants/needs it more?

[Anonquestion125]

When my husband and I were at my aunts a couple months ago we talked to her about how we were looking into buying our first house. My aunt after inquiring what our price limit was asked if we would buy her house. Her house is a beautiful five bedroom and was out of our price range. She however said she would sell it to us for far less. Her husband died a couple years ago and she said she had wanted to move back to Scotland and live with her sister, but had only been holding off because she didn’t want to sell her house to strangers.

I have always loved this house and have lots of fond childhood memories of the please, so we had the house inspected and it’s in really good condition. Even after calculating the extra expenses associated a home of this size it’s still a great deal. So we accepted my aunts offer.

My sister found out and she is upset because she knew that I knew she and her husband were also looking into buying a house and that I should have brought the offer to her first since since she has a larger family and a greater need for more space.

This whole situation has been brought to my aunts attention and she has said that my sister can have the house if I say no, but it’s completely up to me and she doesn’t want to get any more involved and refused to talk about it more.

My main thought on why we should have the house is that my aunt had said she didn’t want to sell the house to strangers. Yes, my sister isn’t technically a stranger, but she very rarely ever goes to visit our aunt (maybe twice a year). Meanwhile me, my husband, and our daughter visit my aunt regularly. Usually twice a month. My husband goes by even more often to help her with any heavy duty chores or to fix things.

My sister says that bringing that up is unfair because she doesn’t have as much free time to visit our aunt as she has four kids all under the age of 10 and no help while I only have one and my mother in law helps out a lot with childcare.

Buy it. For all the people saying it will be at the cost of your relationship with your sister - why? Does she value the house more than she values you? Would she rather you be resentful if it means she gets the house?

take your aunt up on the offer. She offered it to you, and it’s a great opportunity for your family. You’ll regret not going for it.

If my sister accepted an offer like this rather than reasoning with the aunt to sell it on the open market and get the fair value, I'd be appalled.

@Cuppasoupmonster If it’s a family home and she’s an older lady it’s probably for sentimental reasons. When we bought our house, the (older) owner turned down two significantly larger offers from other buyers first because they both planned to knock down the existing house and build something new on the land. He was born in the house as was his brother and he wanted it to remain a family home so he waited until a family came along, she might feel the same way.

She can sell it on the open market to a family though.

It doesn't sound as though either sister has tried to rationalise this with her. They've just got £ signs in their eyes.

The aunt would be better off getting the market value and then deciding, in a dispassionate way, how much she can afford to give the sisters to help them out. It may be less than the discount she is having to give on the house.

Buy it but only after checking all the legalities and how it may incur inheritance tax later on etc , its not as easy as selling your house for way less and no one knowing

If my sister accepted an offer like this rather than reasoning with the aunt to sell it on the open market and get the fair value, I'd be appalled.

I agree.

Sounds like OP and her DH have been playing the aunt for a fool.

I'd buy it.
Your sister did not visit so was not offered.
More fool you if you let your sister have it - you'll regret letting it go every time you visit her!
She will get over it. Your Aunt is who she should be mad at - not you
I just can't imagine losing this opportunity and letting my sister get it. She won't lose any sleep over your feelings if she gets it.

Buy the house.

If your sister wanted more contact with your aunt she would have made the effort. She has the time for phone calls, and letter.

You and your husband sound lovely, don't get taken advantage of by someone who will likely always pull the 'but i' card.

"Entitled cow"??

Bear in mind you're only hearing one side of the story here. The OP is not necessarily giving a full and fair picture of her sister's relationship with the aunt.

We know that they both jumped at the chance to take advantage, rather than trying to persuade the aunt to act in her own best interests. I think that says a lot about both of them.

What's important to your aunt is that her house goes to family. What's important to your sister is that you and she are treated reasonably equally and you don't get a massive advantage over her.

Given that you are getting the house at significantly cheaper than its market rate, that's equivalent to her giving you a massive gift of capital. Could you consider getting a mortgage for a bit more than you need, and gift a lump sum to your sister so that there's some redress of this imbalance? Maybe not half the capital benefit that you are gaining, given that your aunt is emotionally closer to you and has every right to favour you, but maybe a third?

Unless your aunt might already be planning to equalise it in her will by leaving a larger share to your sister. If that is likely then any such gesture from you now would put you at a disadvantage in the long run.

It’s up to you but I think you need to be willing to lose your sister over this.

OP how much are we talking about in your opinion of the discount to market value in cold hard cash terms?

The house belongs to your aunt, and your aunt offered to sell it to you. I would buy it and say thank you.

I can understand your sister feeling envious - that is just human nature. But any sympathy I may have felt would shrivel and die the moment she started throwing tantrums about it.

This is a bad situation all round. I wouldn't touch it. I'd secretly seethe the rest of my life though 😂

Buy the house. Your aunt offered it to you, not your sister. Your sister could have seen your aunt but she chose not to, so buy the house

The aunt is thinking emotionally regarding her house, that's understandable. But other people shouldn't be playing along with the worries of a vulnerable older woman - they should be reasoning with her.

But if she goes ahead with this plan she has no choice over how big a gift she gives the OP. She has to give the difference between the market value and what the OP can afford. Can she afford that much? Has anyone sat down with her and considered the implications if, for example, she needs to pay for care later on.

If someone was acting in the aunt's interests here, they would be trying to persuade her to sell it at market value. She would then be free to decide how much (if any) of the proceeds she can afford to give away, while still leaving enough for the rest of her retirement.

The aunt is thinking emotionally regarding her house, that's understandable. But other people shouldn't be playing along with the worries of a vulnerable older woman - they should be reasoning with her.

But if she goes ahead with this plan she has no choice over how big a gift she gives the OP. She has to give the difference between the market value and what the OP can afford. Can she afford that much? Has anyone sat down with her and considered the implications if, for example, she needs to pay for care later on.

If someone was acting in the aunt's interests here, they would be trying to persuade her to sell it at market value. She would then be free to decide how much (if any) of the proceeds she can afford to give away, while still leaving enough for the rest of her retirement.

You buy it. If you ever need to move, offer your sister first dibs.

It's not the house that is being sqabbled over, it's the discount - effectively a massive financial gift.

It's not the house that is being sqabbled over, it's the discount - effectively a massive financial gift.

You, and your Aunt really need to get some good independent tax/financial advice before doing this. There are tax implications of selling a house at less then market value.

Bizarrely, some lenders can be funny about below market value mortgages so you might not find getting the required finance straightforward

Totally agree with this

Toss a coin?

OP is a first time buyer, and it's a large 5 bedroom house. The OP says that what they'd pay would be "far less" than it's worth.

It'll vary by area, but in most parts of the country that will be a substantial gift.

But your aunts house .she wants you to have it. Your sister will have to get over it.