Taking aunts offer to buy her house cheaply when my sister wants/needs it more?

[Anonquestion125]

When my husband and I were at my aunts a couple months ago we talked to her about how we were looking into buying our first house. My aunt after inquiring what our price limit was asked if we would buy her house. Her house is a beautiful five bedroom and was out of our price range. She however said she would sell it to us for far less. Her husband died a couple years ago and she said she had wanted to move back to Scotland and live with her sister, but had only been holding off because she didn’t want to sell her house to strangers.

I have always loved this house and have lots of fond childhood memories of the please, so we had the house inspected and it’s in really good condition. Even after calculating the extra expenses associated a home of this size it’s still a great deal. So we accepted my aunts offer.

My sister found out and she is upset because she knew that I knew she and her husband were also looking into buying a house and that I should have brought the offer to her first since since she has a larger family and a greater need for more space.

This whole situation has been brought to my aunts attention and she has said that my sister can have the house if I say no, but it’s completely up to me and she doesn’t want to get any more involved and refused to talk about it more.

My main thought on why we should have the house is that my aunt had said she didn’t want to sell the house to strangers. Yes, my sister isn’t technically a stranger, but she very rarely ever goes to visit our aunt (maybe twice a year). Meanwhile me, my husband, and our daughter visit my aunt regularly. Usually twice a month. My husband goes by even more often to help her with any heavy duty chores or to fix things.

My sister says that bringing that up is unfair because she doesn’t have as much free time to visit our aunt as she has four kids all under the age of 10 and no help while I only have one and my mother in law helps out a lot with childcare.

Lol, no she doesn’t. She’s managed fine up to now, and clearly she didn’t think her bedroom situation was dire when she chose to have four children.

honestly if I were the aunt and the intended recipient was guilted out of it I would indeed offer it to the sister. At market rate.

I'd be busy if I have 4 children!

👏🏼

I doubt that it is just a line.

I feel the same way about our family vacation home, which now belongs solely to me. I'd rather sell it cheaply to young relatives than have it fall into the hands of strangers. Some people really do have sentimental attachment to their properties, surpassing the need for more money.

But even if it were just a line, the aunt is free to act upon her impulses without interference from GreedySis or others.

The difference is that the OP was OFFERED this deal, whereas the sister is ASKING for a deal that would advantage her. I'm surprised more people can't discern the difference.

I can see why a lot of Mumsnetters seem to be NC with their families 🙈

I think describing the sister as greedy when the op isn’t exactly being reticent in going ahead with the purchase at the heftily discounted rate from a family member is a bit odd

Husband helping Aunt out, going round diligently twice per month.

Someone has had an eye on that house and a bit more for quite a bit of time.

Someone I know does this with her elderly relatives. She is very well off because of inheritances
Family joke that you get worried your time is nearly up when you start to get regular visits from her

Maybe too suspicious of people going to visit elderly relatives.

If you don’t pay market value, if your aunt goes into a care home in the next seven years don’t you become liable for her care home fees as it could be seen as getting rid of assets to avoid paying for care

I’m not NC with any of mine, but I’m struggle to see why jettisoning piss takers (or even better, the trash takes itself out) is supposedly a terrible thing to do if they happen to share DNA.

Yes the aunt offered her at a reduction because OP made her aware she was looking to buy her first house but if she was aware her other niece was also looking then would she have made the offer? OP said her sister was annoyed that she knew she was looking to buy also. All the Im saying is if the sister was in a position to offer her more would she not be given a chance to? If it benefits the aunt then I see why she couldn’t.

I am quite bemused by the posters advocating for the sister who CHOSE to have 4 children!.

Have as many children as you want and can support by all means, but that doesn't give you some kind of Golden Ticket of Entitlement.

The Aunt wants to sell to a family member. The OP has been OFFERED the property by the Aunt.

The number of children either sister has is totally irrelevant.

My only question mark about this transaction would be Inheritance Tax implications which really does need closer looking at or there could be Tax payable

No-one is taking advantage of the Aunt, the Aunt had made the offer'.
The OP may be planning a large family and is buying a suitable house.
The sister is trying to blackmail her sister because of her own fecundity, her womb her choice!

Who knows? Maybe she would, maybe she shouldn’t. What we do know is that she offered it to OP without considering the sister at all, and only threw the sister the salve of being next up if OP chooses to pass it up.

the sister isn’t entitled to an equal shot. It’s the aunt’s property, she can choose what she wants to do with it.

I'm 100% on OP's side even though I've personally been in the opposite situation.

My aunt gave her house to my brother. And I mean gave, not sold (not in UK). Doesn't have children and is elderly, so there's definitely an implied agreement that my brother and his wife will take care of her, so she's staying in the house until they can find buy a smaller flat for her for retirement.

I have zero problem with the arrangement. I see my aunt rarely, while my brother visits her regularly. But in any case it's her house and can do whatever she wants with it.

All I was meaning was if sister is also looking to buy and in position to put an offer on buying it too and it benefit the aunt then why couldn’t she. If she getting it at a reduced rate and sister said I’ll give you just say £20,000 more then surely that would benefit the aunt for her move.

Your sister is making excuses for not spending time with your aunt now that she knows you might get something out of it.

Your aunt clearly wants you to have it. She's closer to you and your family and the fact that your DH goes out of his way to help her with things too means a lot.

It sounds like your sister would snatch her hand off and gleefully step on you to get it, whereas you're the one feeling guilty. FECK THAT!!

Put your family first, for once, OP. The offer was made to YOU. Take it!!!

If the aunt wanted more money for it she’d sell it at market rate. Why do you think the sister offering £20K more would sway her? 🥴

Because the aunt likes OP better and wanted to give her a good deal. Simple.

Because she not a stranger as that was main reason she doesn’t want to put it up for sale so if she could sell it to family and get more then who know she may consider it.

Mil died earlier this year and BIL who put himself in charge of her estate “to make things simple” (DH trusted him) has inherited the lot. (Think well into 7 figures)
According to the date on mils will was around the time she was diagnosed with Dementia

It all looks too suspicious

But she wanted OP to have it. If she wanted the sister to have a chance to put an offer in she could have chosen to give her the opportunity. She didn’t. OP is clearly the one she favours and that’s fair enough. The sister isn’t owed anything here.

If your aunt's crazy enough not to want to sell to strangers then she may also try to influence what you do with her beloved bargain of a house. Imagine you want a new kitchen but auntie says no because she has so many happy memories of cooking in her old one. I'd find another house to buy personally. I quite like my sister though.

Christ Alive I can imagine the cat's bum mouths being made by some posters on here 🙄

My aunt left her house to my sister, she and her husband are high earners, I am a single mum.

It would be petty to resent my sister as, she was always around my aunt in her later years while I was only able to meet her once a year.

It could be stupid of me but if my parents left their house to my sister too, I wouldn’t resent her either, she is the one getting their shopping, taking them to the doctors and helping them regularly. I live too far away to support them as she does so, I think she has earned the right.

Sounds like that will seriously needs contesting. Especially if your MIL had dementia when she left everything to your BIL, and your BIL arranged everything! This is blindingly obvious that the BIL has stolen it all for himself.