To want SD’s to share a room?

[jopejob511]

DS is almost 20 and in his 2nd year of uni. He struggled during the first year but managed to get through it. This year, he's been struggling but agreed to stay and I went to visit him a few times. A few days ago was the anniversary of his dads death (12 years ago, not recently but obviously it's still affected him) which seems to have hit him hard as expected. He called me last night crying saying he wants to come home so I agreed at the weekend ill go and get him.

The issue is his room, he sleeps in it when he's here but when away SD(12) sleeps in it as she doesn't want to share with her sister (7), they come here every other week and stay for the week. The issue is they're also coming this Sunday. DP has said I'm BU for wanting them to share and DS is almost 20 so if he can't cope in uni he should find somewhere else to stay, for example a hotel. I've told him I don't expect him to do that as this is his home we then argued about how this is also SD’s home etc.

Was I bu?

And your response wasn’t Fuck off?! Seriously?!

You are doing the right thing @jopejob511. Hold strong.

Bit of a drip feed there about your DS's suicide attempt. Although your DP was already coming across as an utter cunt.

Your DS has already lost his dad, please show him that his mum is completely in his corner - best way to do that would be by getting rid of the DP who seems intent on pushing him out of his home.

I’m so interested in hearing more about your relationship. Is he otherwise a good partner? Is he contributing to the house financially or otherwise? I’m worried that you’re being taken advantage of.

Its DS's room sd was allowed to borrow it when he wasn't using it. Now he is using it he needs it back. No different to lending anything else out

Given your latest post, I think your "D" P's stance is even more Unreasonable.
Your son needs you in his corner. Your DP doesn't sound terribly nice.

Your son seems to need more help/support and attention than your partner is apparently prepared to give or even support himself.

Your partner sounds like an arsehole. Please don’t put him and his wants ahead of your son’s.

“DP was previously living with a family member before he moved in with me”

Well how convenient 🙄

“he's now suggested DS to stay elsewhere like grandparents which I don't really want him to as this is his home and he attempted suicide 2 years ago around this time of year so I do worry and want to keep an eye on him”

Jesus. With that detail, he’s still suggesting your son isn’t at home (in his own home) with your support? Just so his kid doesn’t have to share their usual room? Honestly don’t know how you didn’t dump him at that point. You son attempted suicide, FFS.

Wow, your DP is a wanker. Please have a good think about why you're with him. Also, think about the message your ds will get if you comply with DP, even leaving the house to stay at a hotel. Your DS needs to know you will put him first- this is definitely a hill worth dying on.

Your DS is struggling and your DP thinks he should stay in a hotel so his DDs can gave separate rooms? Wtf!

Yanbu, he is OOO.

Your DDs will have to share until your DS is well enough to go back to uni or do something else.

For your son's sake, give this man his marching orders! You said no to a hotel so he suggests grandparents? He is beyond being an arsehole and well into cruel fucker territory. Just - No! This is your son's home, and you really need to tell your boyfriend that your son come first.

I honestly think it would be in your son's best interests if your boyfriend was gone before your son comes home. And his daughters. I really think it needs to be just you and your son, and your son takes time away from university too.

If you forget the whole blended family bit, what would you do if it was your own family of 2 girls and a boy. The boy would have his own room and the girls would share. Your not being unreasonable.

I agree wholeheartedly with this post.

take care of your DS and yourself OP.

In the kindest way OP, you've let this man bulldoze your son out of the only home he's ever known. No wonder the poor kid is struggling.

There are times in life where you have to chose who is your priority, and this is one of them. Time to show your lad that he's your priority, not the cocklodger. How dare he try and dictate where your son can stay in his own home.

Just say no to your DP. Your son is coming home for the weekend and will need a room, his girls can share or he can take THEM elsewhere for the weekend.

It wouldn't even be a discussion for me, no is a full sentence and all that.

Are you reading these posts op? You’re completely under reacting. Your ds tried to kill himself 2 years ago, a year after your ‘d’p moved in and he’s been vile to him ever since by the sound of it. Please, please take action.

Your son’s miserable and has been suicidal but your DP is STILL suggesting he stays elsewhere so his kids don’t have to share a room. Your son should be the number 1 priority here no questions asked. Pretty shocked that you’re pandering to your DP over this.

Your 'D'P gets worse each time you post about him

He is trying to tell you what to do in YOUR house about YOUR son whose mental health is fragile.

Get rid of your DP I imagine it might do your son's mental health some good

I think you need to remind your Dp that he has moved into your and DS home, if he doesn’t like it tell him to leave.

If this is all for real, what on earth are you doing to your poor son?
Why did you move your boyfriend in, with his kids, and push your poor son out?
it’s tragic and it seems to be not uncommon

the poor young man has no one, and no one sticking up for him, if you don’t change this situation

Your DP is taking the piss. It is yours and your DSs home. He sounds like a right cocklodger and needs to wind his next in. DS will be sleeping in his room. This is the hill I would die on.