I can’t stand one of my colleagues

[TimeAtTheBar]

And it’s really out of order of me because she’s actually very well meaning.

I am her manager and only started last month. I was meant to have a handover from the outgoing manager but she bailed on her notice. So this girl (and she is a girl; about 19) who has been there the longest has been my go -to for questions about specifics. I mean stuff like where we keep the XYZ. I had some training in a different site but not as much as would have been ideal so I’m having to wing it a bit; my boss is fine with this and I’m getting lots of support from them.

But this particular colleague is getting right on my tits. She keeps correcting me. Over tiny stupid things that don’t matter. She talks over me with customers. She tells me to do things.

It’s partly of my own making I think because I deferred to her knowledge in the first week but I just want to scream in her face that I AM HER BOSS when she pulls me up on things.

My current strategy is just ‘yes I know that thank you’ or laughing when she tells me what to do. But any minute now my last nerve is going to snap and I’m going to say something I’ll regret.

She’s also not actually very good at her job and I am going to have to have a conversation about her standards with her soon which makes it even more laughable that she patronises me.

im posting while on my lunch break, she hasn’t left me alone, every time there’s more than one customer she has asked me to come and assist.

Just posting for a rant really. I know I’m being unreasonable. I need to gently assert that I’m the one in charge, not her.

You need to stamp your authority right now. Saying something like, 'I am your boss, you are the employee. Please get on with your work.' And when she tells you that you're doing something wrong, I would say 'no I am not, I was brought in to fix this place up because I was told it's staff are incompetent. As your boss, this is how we will be doing things from now.'
Always emphasise that she is the employee. You are her boss. Every single time she nitpicks something. For example when she said 'you will have to explain it to the customer' I would say 'no I don't, that's your job, I am your boss. Please get on your work.' Always reiterate that.

I am your boss, you are the employee. Please get on with your work.'

she should fairly rightly come back with “well seeing as you’ve been on your phone most of the shift….”

😂😂😂

Corking advice from the School Of Incompetent Management which is bound to land well on a sarcastic 19 year old ...

Exactly. Not the best way to go about things.

Don’t know why some posters are being so critical and undermining of the OP.

OP, hope you managed to speak to the annoying teen today and nip her boundary pushing in the bud.

If she wants to keep her job she wouldn't. Employees don't get to tell their managers how often they use their phone. My advice was actually assertive, and any good HR rep would give the same advice I did. Be assertive and direct, and re-establish hierarchy.

Being assertive as a Manager and establishing the hierarchy is the advice of any good HR Management. Anything else is incompetence.

And that 'sarcastic 19 year old' teenager doesn't have a lot of options compared to the OP, so they'd want to keep their sarcasm in check and not mouth off to the Manager.

It's a jobseekers market and the op is already short-staffed. That will work well.

😂😂😂 good god I hope you’re never in a position of authority. Do you honestly think this is how competent managers talk to their staff? Or is this sarcasm??

So it started a bit dodge, she came in (an hour behind me) and told me (not in a reminding way) I needed to do XYZ this morning. I said yes; I’ve already done it, don’t worry as I am up to speed now.

I kept her busy today with jobs I’ve been itching to get at, organising and cleaning stuff that I’ve either been too busy or alone in the shop to do. She pushed back at a couple by saying ‘we’ve always had it there’ or ‘we only cleaned that a month ago’ so it was a great opportunity for me to assert that I want things done this way now. There is a lot to change, the cleaning schedule and organisation is dire. Also stupid little niggles like things that are used frequently being stored in awkward places.

I also emphasised that my boss wants me to take ownership and use my knowledge and skills to change the way things are done, they’ve basically been managed by him from afar as the previous two managers didn’t do much in the way of managing. So when she kept saying X says we have to do it this way I have been able to say no, this is the way we are doing it.

I think she will continue to push back at me as that’s just her personality but she has today also started asking me for permission/advice for things so she gets it now I think.

Thank you to those that understood I was just having a moan. I’ve now managed to arrange tomorrow off so I’m having a glass of wine and settling in for the night.

Ah, what is wrong with what I said? I stated almost verbatim what was in my texts from my HR course as part of a Diploma. Asserting authority is what bosses do.

I hope you are all joking.... What I said is HR Best Practice. Goodness, do people really not understand how to assertively manage a workplace, that they think they know better than official training manuals?

Glad it went well, op.

She is a girl and I'm sorry to say young girls are often talented hungry ruthless and take no prisoners. You are below her in her mind due to lack of knowledge, softness and inexperience

Girls of this age also lack soft skills, team player abilities and are rude to older and subordinates imo

so it was a great opportunity for me to assert that I want things done this way now.

Very well done, OP. Assertive, not submissive or passive. Lines cannot be blurred in a Boss/employee relationship and both need to understand their position in the company. Unfortunately it seems the lines became blurred with the teenager basically showing the older adult boss around to workplace, and that somehow has given the teenager the wrong idea of her role in comparison to you.

So when she kept saying X says we have to do it this way I have been able to say no, this is the way we are doing it.

Exactly, and very well managed by you.

Did you not realise that some people on MN don't see low paid jobs as 'real' jobs? It's called extreme narrow-mindedness.

You do sound a bit like 'that' new manager though who comes in swinging your balls about 😆

You almost had me for a minute there

I don't agree with this in this case but I do so love this expression and I am pinching it :)

Brilliant. 😂😂

You need to show your authority asap.

She is snapping at your heels because you're allowing her to. You need to have that frank discussion about ways of working before its embedded.

A cool calm "I don't appreciate being spoken over, I'm assuming you're not meaning to come across rude but you are" - feedback in the moment

Then a 121 where you lay out your expectations and how she's not meeting them along with her attitude, then its there in black and white how she needs to improve - then its a case of if she is receiving the same feedback time and time again there is evidence she is not improving and its a perf management piece

Stop trying to mother her (I suspect) - you're her boss not her mum

You are the manager, she reports to you. You just need to take control. Take her aside, thank her for helping you out when you started, be calm and clear that, unless you specifically ask for her input, it is no longer needed.

Jesus, talk about ageist.

She is a girl. She’s the same age as my daughter and lives at home with her parents.

You'd get a warning from HR for this kind of attitude at my work.

She is an adult employee. It sounds like what she is trying to do is be helpful and show her competence/usefulness. Don't be threatened by it. A good manager appreciates pro-active helpful staff. You are only as good as the staff you manage.

good god I hope you’re never in a position of authority. Do you honestly think this is how competent managers talk to their staff? Or is this sarcasm??

This!! Good people management is not telling people what to do in an authoritarian style.