I can’t stand one of my colleagues

[TimeAtTheBar]

And it’s really out of order of me because she’s actually very well meaning.

I am her manager and only started last month. I was meant to have a handover from the outgoing manager but she bailed on her notice. So this girl (and she is a girl; about 19) who has been there the longest has been my go -to for questions about specifics. I mean stuff like where we keep the XYZ. I had some training in a different site but not as much as would have been ideal so I’m having to wing it a bit; my boss is fine with this and I’m getting lots of support from them.

But this particular colleague is getting right on my tits. She keeps correcting me. Over tiny stupid things that don’t matter. She talks over me with customers. She tells me to do things.

It’s partly of my own making I think because I deferred to her knowledge in the first week but I just want to scream in her face that I AM HER BOSS when she pulls me up on things.

My current strategy is just ‘yes I know that thank you’ or laughing when she tells me what to do. But any minute now my last nerve is going to snap and I’m going to say something I’ll regret.

She’s also not actually very good at her job and I am going to have to have a conversation about her standards with her soon which makes it even more laughable that she patronises me.

im posting while on my lunch break, she hasn’t left me alone, every time there’s more than one customer she has asked me to come and assist.

Just posting for a rant really. I know I’m being unreasonable. I need to gently assert that I’m the one in charge, not her.

Yes, I can see you don’t work at Boots from your latest posts…but the image is still there 🙂

Anyway…as a manager myself, I wouldn’t personally directly challenge her telling you what to do, otherwise you’ll look like you are just being bitchy when it comes to having any difficult conversation in the future.

When she tells you what to do, I’d smile, and say either ‘thank you, that is a great idea/very helpful’ or ‘thank you, that’s a good idea, but I think I’m going to try things a little differently today’.

In the mean time, you also need to start asserting your authority, but in a non-aggressive way. So for instance ‘thank you Kim, I’ll deal with this customer…would you mind going and checking on the sandwiches’ or ‘I’d really appreciate your help with stock rotation today Kim.’ So you’re just (politely) changing the dynamic that’s been build up so far over this short period of time.

If she then persists in directing you, you can then reasonably take her to one side and simply tell her ‘I understand that you are trying to help and I appreciate that. Are there any other reasons though why you are interrupting me when I speak with customers?’

Give her the opportunity to explain her actions and then you can tell her ‘As I say, I appreciate your help, but I want to ensure we remain professional on shop floor, so if you feel you have a suggestion as to how I can do things differently, let’s make sure we raise that away from customers’.

Just my way of doing things though 🤷‍♀️

But it is though… you say you’re a manager and don’t need telling how to do your job and then you make a huge cock up like using the wrong tongs?? FYI, one gluten CRUMB can set a coeliac sufferer back 6 months in recovery of their stomach. Some coeliac sufferers can go into anaphylactic shock because of simply coming into contact with gluten. I would never want to come into your shop. We know who to look for - the demeaning manager sat on her phone all day!

But she is a woman.

Not to mention the wrong jug, dairy intolerant people could suffer with that as well.

Op, I get the feeling you've blagged your way into a job that you don't have the training or expertise for and are floundering.
Talk to your line manager before you kill someone or make someone seriously ill. Listen to staff who know the ropes and are trying to prevent the above happening.

If the "girl" had "simply made a mistake and grabbed the wrong tongs" I bet you'd have slated her on here.

Glass houses etc.

Then half term which was insanely busy. So today is the first quiet day I’ve spent with her and she’s spent the whole time she was here picking holes in what I was doing. It annoyed me before but now it’s enraging me

and you’ve spent the “whole time” on your phone feverishly tapping away updates on mumsnet 😂

Nothing to do with allergies, just the ‘wrong size’ which was ridiculous.

The tongs were one of the first times I was serving in the bakery. I was happy to be corrected. Not happy to still have her going on about it two weeks later.

This fucking thread.

No they don't give a toss . Their main aim is to do as little as possible and get paid . I guess they are part of the Quiet Quitting movement in Tik Tok .

The biggest mistake you made was thinking of her as a colleague. A colleague is usually someone on the same work level as you and by classing your staff as the same level as you there'll never be any respect.

Secondly at 19 she's an adult but technically also a teenager. From my experience at managing teenagers there's an extremely fine line between a child and adult at that age.

Your daughter is a woman.

Yeah but can you imagine the vitriol I’d have got if I called her my young subordinate or something?

🤣

Oh op. Ok so you’re basically paid a littler more than her, have been getting ir wrong.and are excited about being rhe supervisor.

@TimeAtTheBar very true 😂 Shame they can't be adults when it comes to phoning in sick, most still get their mothers to do it.

I’m the manager. It’s my store. I am new to the business so was learning. I know what I’m doing now and I don’t need a teenager picking holes in every single thing I do differently to her/the old manager. I’ll deal with her.

Your way of managing is awful. There’s a way to handle people. You will lose staff if you go in gung-ho and not giving a damn how you treat your staff.

Exactly. Competence gets respect. Having no idea what you're doing but throwing your "I'm the manager, it's my store" weight around will cause tension, poor staff retention and ultimately poor performance for the business.

I mean I literally haven’t done that but whatever.

Completely irrelevant but I’m wondering what age people class as adults now 😂 x

My post saying I’m the manager, it’s my store was in response to the poster patronisingly telling me I’m paid a little bit more and I’m excited about being a supervisor.

Jesus. I AM YOUR BOSS.

Whatever

Yes but I haven’t actually said that, have I?

For fucks sake.

you sound like a shit manager

35

@AllThingsServeTheBeam I was thinking more 40+ but fair enough