To think life was 100% easier before kids

[Pleasecreateausername95]

I adore my dd, obviously…but it’s so hard at times, isn’t it? I’m starting to miss so many things now and I know I won’t get them back…or maybe in another 12-14 years perhaps…and it won’t be the same then as Dh and I will be older.
Would you like to go back to being child free for the weekend to see what it was like?

I'm childfree by choice.
I'm always struck by threads like this, in that so many posters seem to think that if they hadn't had kids the alternative is to spend days and nights boozing and sleeping in until 11am!
The reality is - childless/childfree people dont remain in their 20s forever!
I'd rather die now than go on a city break that turns into a massive bar crawl. And I'm up early at weekends as I'm walking the dog or making a start on our latest DIY project. And unfortunately I'm an insomniac, so I've not slept through the night in over a decade.
Sorry to hijack the thread, but I get tired of reading this same misguided rhetoric.

YANBU OP. I have a 3 year old and 1 year old. I’m finding it all quite hard to a balance, maintaining a career, all the sickness they’ve got atm (I’ve had 3 weeks of the last two months that haven’t been affected by one of their bugs), looking after myself.

I love and adore them but it’s a struggle at times.

@SmokedHaddockChowder It’s funny you should say that because I saw a colleague (single, no kids) walking through our village at the weekend, headphones, just looking relaxed and i thought wow that looks bliss!

I knew it would be hard being a parent, but nothing could have prepared me for the guilt, exhaustion and constant worry of having a child with SEN. I love my DC and would do anything for them, but I feel like I'll never truly relax again. There is always something to worry about. Even if we do get a childfree night the niggling worry is there at the back of my mind and I can't fully enjoy it because its like a countdown to when I'm back on duty again.

I’m childfree by choice and I love it. I’m older now but I know I didn’t make the wrong choice. Im married and we can do whatever we want when we want. I see old school friends out and about and they always look so stressed and in a rush.

Yes, absolutely easier by miles. But then all the best bits in life require real effort and energy.

Hotcoffee22- but unless someone is a single parent, they could also go for a nice relaxing walk with headphones.
I get the baby stage is intense but I’ve got two primary age kids and I go out to the gym in the evenings, have nights out, have weekends away seeing friends and have the odd lie in. Yes life is way more stressful than before kids and there’s a million things to remember for school but if the kids dad is involved and hands on I think you’ll all find a nice balance.

*Sirpatrickdelaneypodmore · Today 06:43

Hotcoffee22- but unless someone is a single parent, they could also go for a nice relaxing walk with headphones.
I get the baby stage is intense but I’ve got two primary age kids and I go out to the gym in the evenings, have nights out, have weekends away seeing friends and have the odd lie in. Yes life is way more stressful than before kids and there’s a million things to remember for school but if the kids dad is involved and hands on I think you’ll all find a nice balance.*

Yes I have several friends who are parents. All of them could achieve this with ease! It's not a prison sentence!

Totally agree @SSmokedHaddockChowder.

Hang in there OP! It is hard but I found it started getting easier from when my youngest was 3yo, and much easier from when he was 5yo. Now they're 13, 15 and 16 and I'm enjoying the teen years so far!

I’m not single but my DH works away and I probably have opportunity once a fortnight to do that.

I mean, I know this post has had a few 🤨responses, but I agree with this.

I mean what did you actually expect would happen when you have a child and are completely responsible for every possible aspect of his/her life?

In whose world is this ever going to be surprisingly hard?

The mental burden of motherhood never leaves you, even on a weekend away and it gets much more demanding again, if fun in a different way, when they’re teens.

Just preparing you OP so you don’t end of shocked all over again!

And to you answer your question, I would never want to go back to being child free.

I know what it was like.

And I still decided to have children anyway.

The whole thing is a big old con

Really?!

I mean she’s completely right isn’t she.

I actually can’t believe someone posted this, and others are on here saying how hard it is too.

I mean really…

What on earth did people expect?

So glad I had mine late I did enjoy my life till I hit 34. It was all about me!!

Someone comes on to share their experience and is told by other posters that’s not their experience.

OP asked for views and I shared mine. Please don’t profess to know my own life better than I do.

Im pleased for your friends but am not one.

DH and I miss having sex on a Sunday morning!

Can't wait until DC is old enough for sleepovers!

Does that mean you can’t acknowledge it?

I wish those who always say "yes it gets easier" would also say for those with kids with NT kids.

My life won't get easier, just harder.

I adore my DS17 but he cannot talk, feed, dress himself, has the mental age of a 4 year old, partially sighted and is doubly incontinent.

The bigger and older he gets, the worse it gets as we really begin to feel how both he and us have been robbed of an NT, independent life for him.

He need will care 24/7 until the day we die and don't even get me started on the worry about what will happen to him when we are no longer around, he is an only child.

Retirement? What fucking retirement? 🙄

Of course, and personally, I have.
But it really is stating the bleeding obvious, which means people can expect to see that acknowledged too.

Nobody tells you how hard it is. No one

And it gets harder the older they get. It's hard-core and fun and amazing but Jesus it's work.

This puts parenting into perspective doesn't it. Even us having it hard have it easy compared to chikdren and parenting children with disabilities. Xxxxxxxxxxx

Yes it is much harder if I had my time again I wouldn’t have had any.