To not understand the nastiness that being a housewife provokes 2

[Alondra]

Apologies for making a second part to this thread but I feel strongly about this issue.

Topgub

Possibly because there aren't any benefits

Few countries have a government system caring about women and children. The majority of our governments don't care if all have to work for a pittance to pay mortgage, bills and food when children are small because average couples need both wages. A system where nursery fees are stratospheric and eating half an average wage, and worse still, because parents working full time, making an average pay to be able to survive, have few serious tax concessions. Those tax concessions go to multinationals.

It's a system that only cares about productivity attached to $. If you are an engineer with projects worth a million dollars, your salary will be minimum 15% of that money annually. If you are a carer or a parent, there is no quoted money attached to your work, so you are in a low wage or no wage at all.

A woman with two kids working full time for an average salary has not gained much from my mother’s time. Working full time, taking care of the kids when they are home and doing the lion share of housework and rarely free time at all.

With housing costs, bills and health systems collapsing, I really fear for women in the next few years. We will get the short straw as we've always done, but it'll be a plus if, at least, we don't turn on each other.

@RandomMusings7

And how the ops oH manages to work, do 50/50 housework and childcare outside of work and shape his eyebrows. And have plenty of time for sex. While being as fresh as a daisy.

But working women are scruffy exhausted messes who no one wants to shag.

It's a conundrum sure

Yes all women are jealous of you. As we are women , en masse, we don’t want to work, we don’t want careers or financial independence, we desperately wish to just cook and clean instead.

You are right, next time you’re hoovering or washing his boxers, just think how seething in jealousy all other women are, we really want to be you. We want the 50s back. We all want men who can cover the bills so we can just do domestic chores.

men aren’t jealous of you though, they like to work and be the breadwinner, it’s just us little women who prefer to spend our days cooking and cleaning for our children and men. You nailed it. We know our place.

chained to the kitchen sink. Barefoot and pregnant. You rock.

He can do that because someone is doing the domestic stuff during the day, hence our evenings are our own. When both partners work you have to cram everything in including boring stuff, and when you're already tired from work it just sucks

@AMorningstar why would having a job equate to a scruffy exhausted mess?

@AMorningstar

Again, thats a you problem.

It's not relevant to my relationship or life.

Why do you think we are chained to the sink? Do you think we can't leave the house lol?

If anyone is chained I'd say it's people who have to work out of necessity. Not people choosing to work or choosing to stay home

Less time for yourself and your relationship.

It doesn't. He sees me looking messy plenty of times, the point I was making is that you have more time to invest in yourself and your partner this way. Lol implying he'd leave me if I looked a mess one day, I had HG in my pregnancies and threw up on his shoes because of it, he's still here.

Yeah, I'm the asshole for firing back after people have been repeatedly rude about me and my husband and demanding I justify our preferences to them.

Indeed, so you might as well do what suits you and screw what anyone else thinks. Some people are far more concerned about what they view as other people's shortcomings than their own.

The problem as I see it is this. You make a decision that you believe is in the best interests of your family, yourself, and your own distinct circumstances. If those circumstances happened to be different, they might affect the outcome of those choices, or they might not. You're happy with your decision. You're quite comfortable with your own family setup as you've chosen it.

Then, someone else (maybe in similar circumstances, maybe different) makes the opposite choice. Suddenly all hell breaks loose as those on 'opposing' (why?) ends of the decision-spectrum for some reason interpret a different choice to their own as a personal affront.

And then, we get thread after thread, online discussion after online discussion, IRL conversation after conversation, playground spats and friends falling out, all on the topic of WAHM -v- SAHM, EBF -v- FF, puree vs. BLW.

They're the same discussions people were having 10 years ago. 20 years ago. Back to the 1980s. Probably a sight longer than this. That should show that these 'debates' are a treadmill to precisely nowhere. They are as lacking in productivity/solutions as they were then, and they'll remain so as long as the structural inequality remains in place. That's the area where women could (and often have) more productively channel their ire.

In the meantime we've still got a massive pay gap between the sexes, fewer opportunities at senior level open to women, and an assumption from some quarters that Wifework will naturally be picked up by women. Whilst women are chewing the fat about what other mothers feed their kids, our rights are going backwards and have taken the greatest kicking of a generation. Incels are ten-a-penny and women are frequently harassed and somewhat less but far too frequently killed by men just for going about our everyday business. Organizations like Women's Place UK, grassroots fighters and crowd funders, are tackling this assault on our rights and structural inequality on a daily basis.

That's where the energy and focus need to be. I couldn't give a shit whether, or if, other women work or what they feed their kids.

A scruffy exhausted mess?

The only 'housewife' (two children school age so not a SAHM) is in permanent lounge wear or horrible high street branded sports wear (but doesn't do sport). By contrast the working parents are better presented, unless you're imagining them at an actual coalface or similar?

@AMorningstar your views are absolutely absurd!

I work, I am a mum, I exercise, I look smarter and better presented on the days that I work than the days that I don't and my husband still wants a shag!

You are projecting a hell of a lot on others here and this is why the other thread became what it did.

And before you try and accuse me of being jealous or bitter I ain't, I work through choice.

Not really. I was repeatedly attacked and insulted for my choice. If I'm insulted, I'll do the same back. Or we could all be reasonable people and have a discussion.

Can people stop reporting threads. If you don't like it, don't read it. Nobody holds a gun to your head and makes you read every thread. Use the scroll function.

You're very shallow aren't you OP. In your previous thread I cut you some slack because I figured you just weren't very bright and had the mindset/thinking skills of a 14 year old. On second thought I think you're just nasty and think you're better than everyone because daddy and husband run around for you so you can ensure you're well rested. With the lack of work, lack of really having anything about you and your husband picking up all the night feeds and 50% of the chores, I imagine you're more rested than the dead

No more sexist than saying housewives will get left, which was said multiple times to me and you said nothing about that. I said it because people ALWAYS say this to SAHMs but it's actually often more about them.

I don't fear him leaving. I actually find it weird how many women make plans in case they divorce, in case he cheats - why marry him if you don't trust him? I wouldnt be married to a man I didn't trust 100%.

@AMorningstar a difference of an opinion is not an insult or an attack but you certainly seemed to perceive it that way.

You keep saying that.

Except you went straight for the insults on this thread

You cant keep blaming others for your behaviour.

I for one look 100 times more presentable and put together on the days I go into the office than I do on the weekends just hanging out at home with my partner.

I couldn't be bothered to wake up in the morning and put makeup on and do my hair only to look nice while i iron/cook/take the trash out... and to present a dolled up version of me to my husband when he gets home.

And people wonder why I'm "being rude" when you make comments like this. Keep up that bitterness Autumn, I'm sure you'll find a good one eventually.

What's the bet Topgub will still be here at post 999?

I find it weird when people put an effort in for their colleagues or strangers but not their partner. I'm not saying you should spend every day looking glamorous but both men and women should continue to make an effort.

@cagliari

What's the bets you'll also still be here, obsessing about me and name changing every 3 comments?

And make a new thread afterwards but still somehow blame it on me