To not understand the nastiness that being a housewife provokes 2

[Alondra]

Apologies for making a second part to this thread but I feel strongly about this issue.

Topgub

Possibly because there aren't any benefits

Few countries have a government system caring about women and children. The majority of our governments don't care if all have to work for a pittance to pay mortgage, bills and food when children are small because average couples need both wages. A system where nursery fees are stratospheric and eating half an average wage, and worse still, because parents working full time, making an average pay to be able to survive, have few serious tax concessions. Those tax concessions go to multinationals.

It's a system that only cares about productivity attached to $. If you are an engineer with projects worth a million dollars, your salary will be minimum 15% of that money annually. If you are a carer or a parent, there is no quoted money attached to your work, so you are in a low wage or no wage at all.

A woman with two kids working full time for an average salary has not gained much from my mother’s time. Working full time, taking care of the kids when they are home and doing the lion share of housework and rarely free time at all.

With housing costs, bills and health systems collapsing, I really fear for women in the next few years. We will get the short straw as we've always done, but it'll be a plus if, at least, we don't turn on each other.

@AMorningstar

Maybe you should move to Afghanistan?

i don’t even know where to start with this. I suppose structural racial inequalities are also a “cop out” because we are all individuals?

Why? I'm not of an ambrahamic religion and don't wish to live in a non secular state. Afghanistan isn't particularly what I'd want.

No?

Maybe America then?

Non secular state but very mysoginist. Anti women's rights.

Right up your street.

You owe society nothing?? How about healthcare, roads, policing, security, education, socialisation, food(!) (or do you grow your own?), I can’t go on I have to go to work 😂

@Tandora

No such thing as racism or homophobia!

Just individuals who need to stop pretending they are delicate flowers and make what they want happen!

Racial inequalities are somewhat different but I don't really want to get into an entirely different debate about racism.

@Tandora

I'm sure @AMorningstar oh provides all those things for her

Wowwwww ok. Definitely don’t have the time for this. All the best to you

Haha oh whoops I’m sorry I thought you were @AMorningstar 😂 made sense to me that she might saw this.

@Topgub

That sounds quite judgemental & takes away any choice anyone has regardless of circumstances.
Should everyone really live their home/work lives in a way that suits your world view? Really?
Each to their own I say

I'm curious as to how you made that leap?

Although, tbf, dont most people think their beliefs are best?

Bit odd to hold views you think are wrong

To clarify - I'm not saying people shouldn't pay taxes for services. And I would like there to be a sense of community, but the way to do that is not everyone working in a neoliberal hellhole and is instead to go back to community living in villages, with an emphasis on traditional crafts, permaculture and sustainable farming.

We do actually grow a percentage of our own food, but if I start talking about that I feel like I'll be called a "trad wife" in a derogatory sense again. 🙄

How are they different?

People aren't killed by the police in the USA for being female for one. Women weren't enslaved en masse. I'm not saying women are never discriminated against but to act like it's the same level as racism is pretty disingenuous.

But if you want to discuss racism start a separate thread.

And what about people like me that don't want what you want?!!

Should we be sacrificed for your greater good?

Huh,

Huh?!!

No actually - I think it's fine for women to work if they want to. But I think it should be optional and not financially necessary for both parties in a family to work.

There will always be outliers. Its fine for there to be exeptions.

@AMorningstar

Women are killed for being women everyday.

We're not in the USA.

So why can't black people just pretend structural racism doesn't exist like you've suggested women should pretend structural sexism doesn't?

Maybe women of couloir who face twice the discrimination are actually mistaken.

They obviously only face 1 kind

I wasn't talking about women working.

I was talking about your commune ideal

You dont think everyone should do it even though you think its best?

Weird

@Girlintheframe You said that so well. It's always good to have another string to your bow.@AMorningstar - whilst it's really up to you if you feel secure making your life solely based around husband and kids, all I will say is don't be suprised if one day it comes back to bite you on the arse- husband has a mid life crisis, or loses his job and then resents the fact you can't get well paid employment - unless of course he's super rich anyway . I'm now 60 - twice married and lived with someone for 4 years and in my set of friends I think I've seen it all- and some spectacular split ups and melt downs plus widowed from the most unlikely people- including people married 30 years, career girls and homemakers as well - breakups and sudden singledom can equally affect those who have always put kids and husband first. . If you love being at home and don't want to work then fine, but I would encourage you to do something small that broadens your life a bit outside your family- even if it's a bit of a side business or a bit of volunteering at something that interests you. You never know when it might be a lifeline

Im not going to get into a strawman about racism with you. Start your own thread on it if you want to discuss that. I'm not black either so not really the best person to talk about black women's issues, but you'll find that different black women have different opinions, much like different women of all races have different opinions on misogyny.

"SAHM do not benefit society."

Wow. Are children and babies not part of this society? Ask any baby (if they could speak), toddler or even older child this - "Who would you rather be with today, mum or a keyworker / nanny? What do you think they would say?

I think children and babies are the most important thing in society, which is why SAHM is indeed a benefit.

No because I acknowledge that people aren't a monolith and what suits some people doesn't suit others.