To not understand the nastiness that being a housewife provokes 2

[Alondra]

Apologies for making a second part to this thread but I feel strongly about this issue.

Topgub

Possibly because there aren't any benefits

Few countries have a government system caring about women and children. The majority of our governments don't care if all have to work for a pittance to pay mortgage, bills and food when children are small because average couples need both wages. A system where nursery fees are stratospheric and eating half an average wage, and worse still, because parents working full time, making an average pay to be able to survive, have few serious tax concessions. Those tax concessions go to multinationals.

It's a system that only cares about productivity attached to $. If you are an engineer with projects worth a million dollars, your salary will be minimum 15% of that money annually. If you are a carer or a parent, there is no quoted money attached to your work, so you are in a low wage or no wage at all.

A woman with two kids working full time for an average salary has not gained much from my mother’s time. Working full time, taking care of the kids when they are home and doing the lion share of housework and rarely free time at all.

With housing costs, bills and health systems collapsing, I really fear for women in the next few years. We will get the short straw as we've always done, but it'll be a plus if, at least, we don't turn on each other.

Thank you. It's so fucking stupid on here how the minute someone disagrees with the hivemind, they get accused of being a troll or making it up. Much as I disagree with your views I don't think you're a troll or fake persons

@AMorningstar

I understand your defensiveness but its no excuse

Others are not to blame for your actions

Wow !! So women are happy being doormats and submissive?? Right !!

I don't understand why it's okay for someone to insult me but me insulting them back is crossing the line 🤷🏻‍♀️ treat people how you want go be treated

Pressed send to soon. There's only so long he will be attracted to a woman who sits about all day resting. As I've said multiple times, that is not an attractive trait in a partner and I have never met anyone, anyone at all that's said whoa yeah I want to meet some work shy, lazy as hell, stuck up and with no aspirations. It doesn't happen because they are considered negative and unattractive traits.

There will be a day when the kids are grown and you spending 8 hours a day lifting weights and plucking your eyebrows doesn't detract from the fact you are older and not attractive anymore. You clearly place so so much value on this part of yourself and it will not last. I'm calling it now, your husband will either meet someone with something about them, bright and sexy because they are independent, successful and full of charm. He'll look at 40 year old you who's just spent another day drinking coffee with your other housewife mate and think I can't do this anymore.

Alternatively, if your husband is as obsessed with looks as you are, he'll shack up with the nearest 23 year old who 'needs' him and will leave you in the dust.

Stop being so silly and naive. You don't have this life that's soo much better than everyone else. We can all see what will happen because this is a story as old as time. Every single thing you've said about your relationship has red flags left right and centre.

But stay in your dream world OP. Hopefully you can find another man to look after you once the time comes

@AMorningstar

Insult people all you like. Just stop pretending it's all provoked or that you have some kind of moral highground or that what you're saying isn't sexist. Or worse pretending you haven't said what you actually said.

Any chance we could get back to discussing the op rather than you?

You're again, wrong. I have no fears of him leaving nor do I have to preen myself as you put it. I think its respectful for people to make an effort, and it's normal snd healthy to want to look as desirable as possible for a partner. That goes for men and women.

My husband and I would never have affairs, either of us. I've mentioned it because so many of you go into marriages with the intention of it failing and I find that disgusting. Same reason I find prenups disgusting.

The modern culture surrounding marriage in general is a cesspool in all honesty.

What tripped it for me, personally, wasn't the ongoing misogynistic ranting but the porn loving kinksters who think casual sex is immoral.

Anyway, the three (!) threads are obviously giving you what you came here for, so fill your size 12 boots.

Yawn, you're not my husband so your opinion has absolutely no bearing on our relationship. I'll remember you when we celebrate our 40 year anniversary tho I promise. ❤️

Haha oh yes sorry Morningstar, I do remember now. You said your husband would never ever have an affair because he told you that he doesn't believe in infidelity.

Thank god he's not like the rest of our husbands and said yes I believe in infidelity, I hope that's not too much of a problem.

What lol? We don't think casual sex is immoral for religious reasons if that's what you're thinking. There's no contraindication between married couples engaging in whatever sexual activity they want between themselves and that same couple thinking hookup culture, tinder relationships, OLD snd casual sex are ruining monogamy and the culture around relationships and marriage.

I'm sorry you married sub par men is all I can say to the women on thos thread. Tbh I think a lot of men are disappointing so I know there's lots of it about, but women really need to stop marrying arseholes (and then complaining about them).!

Anyone willing to bet these kinks OP talks about are Dom/sub fetishes? At least you don't have to spend any time getting into character I suppose

I feel sorry for any of the poor men who do happen to be married to any of you, and don't blame them at all for the affairs they all seem to be engaging in

@AMorningstar it’s literally unbelievable that on the one hand you are trying to defend the idea you are not a misogynist and on the other keep coming out with stuff like this. One minute I feel sorry for you, the next I am enraged by your profoundly disturbing attitudes concerning gender.

Why does our sex life matter so much to you lot? Vicarious enjoyment?

Whys that misogynistic, I don't feel sorry for shirty men who's wives cheat on them because they're bad husbands either. People who don't respect their relationships deserve everything they get

Shitty men

I had my first child at 31 and have not worked since. I am now almost age 50. Wow. With the benefit of retrospective personal experience, I can honestly say the last 20 years of being SAH mum have been the very best years in my life. Not a day has gone by when I haven't felt so lucky to be able to make that choice. It's been fantastic and now what else can I tell you. My husband and I are definitely both happier and healthier for it.

Now at almost 50, I have retrained as a yoga teacher. I think I'm fitter than I was in my 20s. I run the classes for all the ages and abilities and
I love it. Next year, I will be running yoga retreats here and abroad. Its a way way of life now for me and I just gradually moved into this. What I want to say is, being a SAHM mum ( as long as you can afford this of course) means you can be constantly exploring new things. Your life (and your family's life) is what you make it on each day. And it's never too late to try new things - at 40, 50, 60 whenever. Everyone should be doing this anyway, paid job or no! My husband does what he wants (the nature of his work means he can be selective) and so do I. I don't know why people are so doom in the gloom about the SAHM mums. It's as if people on this MN chats are only prepared to discuss the potential negatives - they can't bring themselves to consider the many positives and that women may actively choose to live like this, with their eyes open and seeing. If people could spend time with the many many SAHMs I know and their families, they might become more flexible in their attitudes and I hope they will one day so they might understand that women have to do what they want to do as well. If it is the SAHM mum life, fine. We are as important as men, but may also be a bit different and that's good and we should celebrate it. This is how I see life anyway. Good luck to you all.

I think it's pretty obvious from the last 36 hours what OP's kink is.

Why are some of you so interested in my kinks? "Bet they're into Dom/sub" is that supposed to be an insult or what? Hardly the crime of the century.

Not sure why some poster is posting pictures like a 14 year-old.

You're being almost endearingly generous. The old as the hills WOHM vs. SAHM debate' in general is hardly nuanced. But the level of sophistry on this particular thread barely surpasses that of most nine-year-olds, let alone your average worldly teenager.

That's aside from the obvious trolling (in the sense of trying to illicit emotional responses from people, rather than the MN 'creative writing' definition) which augurs strongly of a representative of surrendered wives or red pill. An extremely bored one, at that.

You expect this nonsense to be taken in any way seriously? If so, the joke's on you.

@zeven

People duscuss the negatives because they have such a big impact on society.

Yes, I'm sure individual middle class sahms can have lovely lives. I dont think anyone has denied that.

But the negatives remain. Dependency and promoting inequality/sexism dont go away because you as an individual have started a yoga class

A few individuals having a nice life aren't worth the negative impacts imo and I see no benefits

@Topgub that's why I say things like "you're trying to stop people being SAHM". "a few individuals having a nice life isn't worth it" makes it sound like you want to sacrifice people like me and the other poster somehow. Maybe that's not what you meant, but I thought I'd point it out given you asked why I thought you were trying to stop people earlier.