To not understand the nastiness that being a housewife provokes 2

[Alondra]

Apologies for making a second part to this thread but I feel strongly about this issue.

Topgub

Possibly because there aren't any benefits

Few countries have a government system caring about women and children. The majority of our governments don't care if all have to work for a pittance to pay mortgage, bills and food when children are small because average couples need both wages. A system where nursery fees are stratospheric and eating half an average wage, and worse still, because parents working full time, making an average pay to be able to survive, have few serious tax concessions. Those tax concessions go to multinationals.

It's a system that only cares about productivity attached to $. If you are an engineer with projects worth a million dollars, your salary will be minimum 15% of that money annually. If you are a carer or a parent, there is no quoted money attached to your work, so you are in a low wage or no wage at all.

A woman with two kids working full time for an average salary has not gained much from my mother’s time. Working full time, taking care of the kids when they are home and doing the lion share of housework and rarely free time at all.

With housing costs, bills and health systems collapsing, I really fear for women in the next few years. We will get the short straw as we've always done, but it'll be a plus if, at least, we don't turn on each other.

@AMorningstar i am
Suprised you have the energy to fight with the MN women who
Would
Never depend on any Man
Sad unhappy women who forgot their true nature

Actually she says she has more energy than us because she's well rested.

The poster is clearly not who they are presenting as, that much is very clear and someone with some obvious issues with women

Indeed! The OP has some very misogynistic, masculine and outdated views on women!!

Yeah, I'm slowly coming to that conclusion.

On another thread she was talking about how she has an autistic son who frequently hits her.

I simply can't see how a mother of a special needs kid could ever boast about how relaxed and well rested she is or how she'd find the time to argue on MN for hours and hours.

Exactly. That's what a thoroughly healthy response looks like. But when the interminable SAHM vs. WOHM issue arises, as this thread beautifully demonstrates, it's when people view any setup different from their own as some form of gratuitous insult. Likewise, it rears its ugly head when they start demanding 'respect' for their decisions from others.

It's not up to me to 'support other women's choices' merely because I also happen to be female. In turn, I'm not insecure enough in my own life decisions to seek validation for them online, or to write screeds of angst about why I perceive other women disrespect my choices. I don't care what others do, and personally don't give a shiny shit what others think to the way I structure my life. But these threads indicate that some people do care, intensely so, and are seemingly willing to devote hours of their time to attacking others on the subject.

This kind of discussion simply wouldn't exist if it never occurred to people to seek respect and validation for their lifestyle choices from others who have precisely squat to do with them, and whose decisions affect their lives not one iota. That's the way it is for men, who typically never get embroiled in similar 'debates'. But the reasons for that - principally because they've never had to as long as women have provided a convenient scapegoat - is a whole other thread.

you should get out more.

My only question about this whole thread is you want healthcare to be accessible to children within 24 hours but would also like women to be paid to be off work until their child is school age.

The NHS especially nursing and midwifery which on the whole are pretty female dominated places of work- women that at some point in their career will be of child bearing age, are facing the biggest staff shortage ever. If you think that you could offer years and years of paid leave to women and live in a world where health care systems are improved then you are mad. Also women that are highly trained in a niche field, how do we cover their leave?

Nice to see someone has gone quiet.

I’ve never understood the vitriol. When children are small, childcare is a fortune. It can be a nightmare juggling costs and being at nursery and school and then they all get chicken pox
and a stomach bug follows. I can totally see why it’s more cost effective and way easier - if you can afford it - to be a SAHP with small children. Even in the early years of school, it’s tough.

I don’t judge because I don’t care and I also don’t know what goes on in individual peoples homes. Perhaps the SAHP is independently very wealthy or has a hidden health problem that nobody knows about. Either way, I wouldn’t judge or comment - not my business.

The comments about “wage slave” from @AMorningstar are interesting. I hope you don’t say that to your children’s teachers or nurse - both very female dominated professions. If my husband was a SAHD and referred to me being a “wage slave”, I’d not be slaving for his benefit anymore! I totally get that marriages/relationships are based on team work and this might mean one half isn’t in paid employment. However, it’s disrespectful to suggest that being in paid employment makes you a “slave”. People do all sorts of jobs and time patterns - shift work, self employment, locum and supply work etc.

What true nature?

You don't have to be a wage slave or a capitalist. I could quit work if I wanted too and sit at home. I enjoy looking after some of the most vulnerable in society. My DD is immensely proud of her mum's job.

@AMorningstar is a man. Good wind up sir

@Refrosty she is not wrong!

@TartanGirl1 femininity. A woman's nature is to nurture . Most women are happier in soft easy environments . The new wave of "i can do it all" boss girl bullshit is making women more miserable than ever but its too late to admit now

I think there are a healthy number of exceptions to this but it’s certainly the case that my female friends in high stress jobs are much more unhappy/anxious about it than the men.

Op may or may not have an axe to grind here, but what I cannot stand is when posters dredge up an OP’s previous threads and then ‘use’ them to try to make nasty remarks about her life or character.

It’s distasteful, vindictive and says a lot more about you than her. Particularly the way you dismiss her child as a ‘special needs kid’ and seem to delight in your ‘find’.

Wow I come back to find someone's bringing up my son being autistic? What the fuck has that got to do with anything here?

You don't believe parents of autistic kids can sleep well? Or you don't believe we have relatively normal lives..? Or what, because this is starting to sound absolutely fucking ridiculous. If you've got a problem with me that's fine but bringing up my son is a weird and pathetic thing to do, and is typical bullying behaviour.

As for the accusations of being a man - lol I wish. Wouldn't have my choices questioned half as much if I was.

Thank you. That person has been stalking me across threads as well as making things up to fill whatever gaps they think they find. Completely weird behaviour.

That is golden 😂

@TartanGirl1 keep lying to yourself sweethard 😆

Op may or may not have an axe to grind here, but what I cannot stand is when posters dredge up an OP’s previous threads and then ‘use’ them to try to make nasty remarks about her life or character.
Indeed, it used to be considered very bad form in the olden days of MN.

Certain posters seem to be notorious for it. They can’t win an argument (because debates rarely end with a conceding side) so frantically trawl back through years worth of threads, trying to find something to discredit the OP.

And using somebody’s child’s SEN as a ‘gotcha’ is particularly distasteful. If they have an ounce of decency they’ll apologise and then bugger off.

Most women are happier in soft easy environments .

Of course, that's why we all come here.