To not understand the nastiness that being a housewife provokes 2

[Alondra]

Apologies for making a second part to this thread but I feel strongly about this issue.

Topgub

Possibly because there aren't any benefits

Few countries have a government system caring about women and children. The majority of our governments don't care if all have to work for a pittance to pay mortgage, bills and food when children are small because average couples need both wages. A system where nursery fees are stratospheric and eating half an average wage, and worse still, because parents working full time, making an average pay to be able to survive, have few serious tax concessions. Those tax concessions go to multinationals.

It's a system that only cares about productivity attached to $. If you are an engineer with projects worth a million dollars, your salary will be minimum 15% of that money annually. If you are a carer or a parent, there is no quoted money attached to your work, so you are in a low wage or no wage at all.

A woman with two kids working full time for an average salary has not gained much from my mother’s time. Working full time, taking care of the kids when they are home and doing the lion share of housework and rarely free time at all.

With housing costs, bills and health systems collapsing, I really fear for women in the next few years. We will get the short straw as we've always done, but it'll be a plus if, at least, we don't turn on each other.

You’ve made numerous nasty comments on this thread and the last. Out of defensiveness most likely. Give it a rest and start being honest with yourself. Your kids are in school now - you don’t work because you think you can’t cope with it. You need to be honest to address it.

You think I talk to no one except my husband? You think we don't have friends who we see and speak to regularly? Are you being intentionally obtuse or what because this is ridiculous.

You've got no proof of that.

Humans aren't meant to be sedentary

There is a wealth of research that shows how vital being 'employed' (as in working in some capacity, being kept active, mentally and physically) is. Unemployed people are far more prine to depression.

When people say they'd give up work if they didn't need the money, they don't mean they'd literally never do any work

You know nothing about me, lol. I could cope with it fine, I've worked jobs in the past. The issue here is I don't want to, and I don't need to. The fact you can't fathom other women prioritise things differently to you, and that no one would choose not to work unless there was domething wrong with them, is your issue and not mine.

When people say they'd give up work if they didn't need the money, they don't mean they'd literally never do any work

I do. Why would I work if I didn't have to? Why is work the only physically/mentally stimulating thing to fill with your days with ?

How can it amaze you that people think wanting to be a « housewife » is sexist. Let’s be honest - it doesn’t. You are trying to attack us for posting cos you can’t bear that someone might not validate you. That’s life

Since when does not working equate to being sedentary?

Humans didn't evolve with capitalism in mind lol. You do not have to do work as you describe it to maintain an active life.

You can do whatever you like, I just think it's a bit pathetic.

And we've reached the temper tantrum stage all ready

🤣

From you, who cries about SAHM and then says you think people are inferior? Brilliant.

Yeah, I agree. I don't much care if people find enrichment and stimulation through their work, why would I? It's their life. However, the implication that without work you must be sedentary, depressed, and bored is strange to me.

The idea that everyone who works is a mindless corporate, capitalist drone that hates their job is so narrow its ridiculous.

But I guess to admit other wise kind of negates the life choices

@AMorningstar

What I have said is that people shouldn't treat staying home like its the inferior choice.

Why does it matter what people on MN think about Housewives or SAHMs?

I'm not an advocate of being a housewife. I wouldn't want my daughters to be SAHMs...I would feel disappointed with such choices, but my opinion shouldn't really matter to anonymous people here.

Just the same as my choice to work, may be unpopular with people...it doesn't matter.

All that said...I do understand that for some lower income families, the woman (or man) staying at home to raise the kids, make sense, as they couldn't afford childcare.

When my kids were in nursery, it costed £1k (full time) a month per child. We got a 10% discount for the second child and that wasn't the most expensive nursery. I worked pt when they were younger and through primary school.

That cost just isn't affordable for a number of families.

I also think some of these choices are based on what you see your parents do.

As a mother of daughters, I want to be a role model and I personally wouldn't feel like a role model if I never worked and was financially dependent on their dad all my life.

It's one thing to be a SAHM before the kids start school, with the childcare costs... that's fine... but when they're all in school ...you're now a mum who doesn't work.

What?

Exactly. There's so many things I want to do and enjoy doing and none of them have anything to do with paid work. It's completely lacking in imagination from some people.

Lol at « dried up hasbeen!!!

seriously though, you said above that you couldn’t cope with work. Better to address your issues than spend time attacking me.

Does this not totally contradict your post on the last thread where you said you can't cope with any kind of pressure or stress and have to ensure you're well rested and would find work absolutely exhausting?

Fucking hell. You really should be kicked off this site. Find somewhere else to abuse women. Coming on 24 hours of this guff.

Like watching anime and porn with the hubby?

Topgub - whenever anyone asks why you are on SAHM threads your go-to defence is to accuse them of being over- invested in you.

Anyway, whatever. I cdnt stop you being on SAHM threads, I know that. It's the internet. The difference is though, I AM A SAHM. You are not. I can assure you, I would not be forever on threads about whatever it is you do, nor would I feel the need to take a view about your "lifestyle choice." Couldn't care less. See the difference?