To not understand the nastiness that being a housewife provokes 2

[Alondra]

Apologies for making a second part to this thread but I feel strongly about this issue.

Topgub

Possibly because there aren't any benefits

Few countries have a government system caring about women and children. The majority of our governments don't care if all have to work for a pittance to pay mortgage, bills and food when children are small because average couples need both wages. A system where nursery fees are stratospheric and eating half an average wage, and worse still, because parents working full time, making an average pay to be able to survive, have few serious tax concessions. Those tax concessions go to multinationals.

It's a system that only cares about productivity attached to $. If you are an engineer with projects worth a million dollars, your salary will be minimum 15% of that money annually. If you are a carer or a parent, there is no quoted money attached to your work, so you are in a low wage or no wage at all.

A woman with two kids working full time for an average salary has not gained much from my mother’s time. Working full time, taking care of the kids when they are home and doing the lion share of housework and rarely free time at all.

With housing costs, bills and health systems collapsing, I really fear for women in the next few years. We will get the short straw as we've always done, but it'll be a plus if, at least, we don't turn on each other.

"Disagree with your lifestyle choices,"

What does this even mean? How can you 'disagree' with my life?

I don't need anyone to agree or disagree with my "lifestyle choice" because this is utterly meaningless.

It just amazes me that people have so much to say about women looking after their own kids day to day, or in the hours others might be working. To me, that is just basic life. When did that become even remotely unacceptable? Why all the furore?

I never stated once I wouldn't retaliate. In fact I've never taken issue with retaliation. My issue is with people being rude to others for no reason. Retaliating isn't no reason.

Its literally the most natural thing in the world and I find it deeply sinister that capitalism has divorced women from looking after their own children to such an extent as this.

@AMorningstar

Not forced to no. I never said that.

The majority of women do not want to be housewives.

The majority don't even want to be sahms

Been having a good old chortle at the earlier thread. Its content was predictable from the very first post, when a woman's simple declaration that she valued her independence was interpreted as gratuitous nastiness to housewives. The real gratuitous nastiness didn't take long to show its face because it was clear then what the purpose of the thread was (to provoke handbags at dawn) and which direction it would take.

But even I couldn't have anticipated the discussion would degenerate so far as 'My husband likes me, and everyone else is jealous because your relationships are rubbish so RAH!'

I can't quite figure out whether this qualifies as the most hilarious or most pathetic thread I've read on Mumsnet to date.

Or we just have lives outside of work that we value.

Personally I enjoy my days as a housewife more than my working days. For me, the benefit is that I don't have to work - simple as that. Work is shit, it depresses me, so being a SAH has greatly improved my general mental health. There was a period of time where I would work late evenings and some early nights while DH worked in the day. I hated it, it was horrible, I barely ever saw my own husband and it felt like I might as well be single.

I disagree. Moral highroad is nonsense, it's a silencing tactic used to get people to shut up about bullying and abuse. Why should anyone have to sit and take it?

@cagliari

You sure do bang on an awful lot for someone who doesn't care.

You're literally horrified that anyone has a view you don't like

say about women looking after their own kids day to day

Yeah except nobody has actually even mentioned that.

They've only discussed the wider societal impacts of not working

It's not sexist to prefer raising my own children and caring for my husband to working a career.

You've got no proof of this.

Most people if they had the money would give up work. Men and women.

Caring for my husband. Vom.

Dear, seems @AMorningstar is a bit economical with the truth.

it’s ok to suffer mental illness but you can’t address it unless you start being honest.

@AMorningstar

Who isn't looking after /raising their own children?

@FlamencoDance

I'm hugely privileged to have the career I do and to enjoy it (most of the time)

But apparently that means I don't have a life outside of work

I would love to be a SAHM. Finances don’t allow and I’m well aware my children will be old enough before too long not to justify my staying at home, and there will be many years of working life left after that. So I need to keep my career. I would love the option of a 6 year unpaid career break though.

This thread is about women. Hence why I was discussing WOMEN.

But for the record I do think a woman has an intrinsic bond with her baby that comes from carrying the child in her body. If you think that's sexist then okay. Biology is sexist.

The state doesn't exist to fund your choice to have children.

YABU.

Where have I been economical with the truth? Introverted doesn't mean meek, it means I find socialising draining.

There's something odd about a group of middle aged women trying to pull a 20 something woman apart because she has a checks cards happy marriage and loves her husband. Really showing how you aren't bitter.