Can't cope with washing clothing

[MonsteraMother]

I'm relatively competent in most areas of life except this one. I cannot fucking get it together to be on top of the washing. I sometimes buy new socks just because I can't face the bloody sock mountain and pairing them all up. I own over 60 pairs of knickers as I only seem to have the time and space in my life to catch up with washing during school holidays.

For context, we have a 4 bed house with a washing machine, a tumble dryer and outside washing line but no utility room - just a small office/box room which is always stuffed to the max with the wash baskets and the sock basket. We also have a cleaner once a week but she doesn't do anything to do with washing.

My excuse is that I work incredibly long hours (7am to 7pm) and have 2 young DC. DH does lots to help too with cooking, dishwasher, all school runs but he is also crap at washing. We have 4 wash baskets and they are all full of washing in various states.

AIBU to ask for your help? Surely at my 'close to menopause age' I should be able to get a grip on this one area of life.

Please give me your tips...

My husband and I do our own laundry, so we’re both in control both of how we wash (separated, detergent, temp) and how frequent.

we only have one child (5), which makes things a lot easier, but they have their own washing basket and as I work fewer hours, I generally take responsibility for that. I’ll shove their whites in with mine to make up a load, then wash the rest once a week/ten days. We don’t have a dryer so things are on and off the washing line or heated airer within 12 hours and folded/put away ASAP, as we only have one basket for transporting laundry so it will be needed!

Pairing up socks isn’t a problem as we each do it straight away and there’s no confusion between whose is whose!

I feel you OP.

I'm okay with the washing and drying part, but sometimes clothes can live on the airer in the kitchen for WEEKS! I'm looking at it now, and there's clothes on it that I washed LAST weekend!

Use towels way more than once before washing

Are there really people who use towels once and then wash them? Are you insane? Why? It's wildly unnecessary, bad for climate change, bad for your energy bills, creates loads of work!

I used to watch my mother, every mondya, spend the whole day washing clothes. Before we had money for a washing machine. Every monday, for years and years.

So I just think we have the machines, just use them! The actual work involved these days is so minimal. Also, everyone should be washing clothes, and learning how to do these things as soon as able.

I empty everything onto the floor and categorise-

Children's whites
Adult whites
Children's coloureds
Adult coloureds
Towels
Bedding
Bath mats, cleaning cloths, etc.

Then do a wash each and out go the clothes on hangers to be put on a clothes horse. When they dry, bring them in and put them straight into relevant wardrobes, linen cupboard, under the bed, etc.

We've a tiny house with no dryer, no outside washing line. I have a couple of ikea octopus (or socktopus as my DC call it) for all socks and underwear. You need to find a system that works for you.

When the washing gets too much for me, I send the husband to the launderette to do all the house wash items (towels, bedding, etc.) and they all come back dried, ready to be put away.

Put stuff directly in washing machine instead of laundry basket. Turn on machine once fu. Buy everyone socks in only one colour and style. Husband grey, you black and kids whatever. Makes things much easier.

"Buy everyone socks in only one colour and style."

I explained above why this doesn't work.

Why is that a problem though? You'll take them off when you need to wear them or when you need the airer again.

I like this.

I prioritise reading daily with my DC because education is my highest priority. Obviously the kids clothes are washed regularly (weekends) but it's often a ridiculous situation of digging the clean socks/tights out of the wash basket that's underneath the other 4!

Agreed. Lots of people here suggesting this. I literally couldn't! I have trouser socks for suits, tights for dresses, short socks for trainers (light socks with light trainers and black socks for black trainers), invisible shorty socks for pumps, fishnets for sexy weekends...the list is endless and YES fully admit that I have too much stuff. Need someone to Marie Condo the shit out of my life.

Perfectly preserved> you're so right, I've bought more stuff because I can't find the stuff I have! Also post baby I bought lots of stuff in larger sizes so now I have certain items in a range of sizes. I'm stupidly holding out in the vain hope that I'll be a size 10 again at some point!

Does your husband also work long hours?

Perhaps he should take on the washing or part of it so that he becomes less crap?

I mean for most people it is a relatively simple task to sort into loads, hang up/tumble dry, iron or not, put away/leave others to put their own away.

Time seems to be more your problem.

"I have trouser socks for suits, tights for dresses, short socks for trainers (light socks with light trainers and black socks for black trainers), invisible shorty socks for pumps, fishnets for sexy weekends.."

My issue is more that the colours will fade differently so one pair of black socks won't look exactly like another.
Relevant to the other thread at the moment about having to take your shoes off when you visit someone - means you definitely can't wear odd socks that are different shades of black (or whichever colour you choose).

Holy fuck. I would never tire of slapping some of you lot.

@mycatisannoying

That's a great line, love it!

Yup, this. I leave after 6pm and have a commute of nearly an hour. If I need to do a referral to social services then it can be as late as 9pm before I leave my office. Governors meetings...also end at around 8:30pm and who do you think it locking up after all those PTA events/school discos? Yup, me! But the holidays make up for it!

about having to take your shoes off when you visit someone - means you definitely can't wear odd socks that are different shades of black (or whichever colour you choose)

Would you actually judge a friend for doing this in your home?

I'm intrigued. I'm in Ireland too. The weather has been mad (heavy rain followed by sun, and above average temperatures). While I know that in some parts of the country the rain has been more significant, I think I'd have heard it it rained without stopping on any part of the island for a month !

I came on to suggest this exact thing! Except mine is bedding and towels on Monday, whites Wednesday, darks Friday. I don't do colours separately. When I done 12 hour shifts I would either wash overnight, hang in the morning, bring in the same night and put away or wash on a morning, transfer to dryer, chill for couple hours, then put away the same night or next morning.
It is hard with long shifts, I used to have one day put aside for just washing but I found spreading it on was easier for me.
I'd go through your mammoth pile and be ruthless. If it's not been worn 6 months, get rid.

Pre-sorting changed my life. We have a 'tumble dry' box, a 'hang dry' box, a 'wool/delicates' box and a 'towels' box. Bed linen does not come off unless it's going straight in the machine. Each box fits a load. When it's full, it goes in. If there is no rain forecast, we leave washing out overnight... sometimes, multiple nights...

When clothes come off the line/out the dryer, they get folded dumped in a box for each family member. We're less good at putting clean clothes away, but it's better than the overflowing situation we had before.

It could also work if you had a separate box or laundry bag for each family member, especially if it's going in the dryer.

FWIW, this is my routine… also working long hours and I have to stick to a routine or it falls apart.

When you (or whoever is putting kids to bed!) are heading upstairs with the kids for bedtime, gather all clean dry laundry and get it upstairs. While kids are in the bath, fold and put it away (mine are old enough to be close not watching). Then refill the basket with everything dirty.

When kids go to bed, go down and put a wash on quick wash. Before you go to bed, hang it out or put it in the dryer.

Weekends I wash whites and sheets.

We have little individual baskets for each person's clean washing. I divide it out of the dryer so even if it's not put away it's easier to find what you need.

Pay your cleaner extra hours to sort it or pay a new home help

I can't see you changing or finding time.

"Would you actually judge a friend for doing this in your home?"

No and I don't force people to take their shoes off either, but some people obviously do and the friend might be embarrassed themselves.

You need to make it really organised and as pleasant for yourself as possible to do.

So I have a sort of large nook at the end of the upstairs landing dedicated to sorting laundry with a laundry hamper, basket, little pail for cleaning cloths and pre-treat products, dried lavender etc. in glass jars, and metal vintage style laundry signs on the wall.

In the utility room above the washing machine I keep the detergent and fabric conditioner in labelled pretty glass bottles and always have a big jar of scent booster, all in nice scents.

Then I just do the laundry little and often at this time of year when it takes longer to dry and I'm too busy to spend forever hanging up massive loads of laundry. I've just made it less of an onerous chore for myself over the last year and more of a pleasant one 😌