Can't cope with washing clothing

[MonsteraMother]

I'm relatively competent in most areas of life except this one. I cannot fucking get it together to be on top of the washing. I sometimes buy new socks just because I can't face the bloody sock mountain and pairing them all up. I own over 60 pairs of knickers as I only seem to have the time and space in my life to catch up with washing during school holidays.

For context, we have a 4 bed house with a washing machine, a tumble dryer and outside washing line but no utility room - just a small office/box room which is always stuffed to the max with the wash baskets and the sock basket. We also have a cleaner once a week but she doesn't do anything to do with washing.

My excuse is that I work incredibly long hours (7am to 7pm) and have 2 young DC. DH does lots to help too with cooking, dishwasher, all school runs but he is also crap at washing. We have 4 wash baskets and they are all full of washing in various states.

AIBU to ask for your help? Surely at my 'close to menopause age' I should be able to get a grip on this one area of life.

Please give me your tips...

Sometimes when the sock mountain gets overwhelming I play ‘sock snap’ with the kids. With rewards for the winner. Any odd ones I put in a bag and hide behind a chair, they get released after the next wash in case I can reunite them.
the putting away of it all is the worst. Especially if you don’t have room for it! Which might be exacerbated by buying extra socks and pants! I have the same problem and end up stuffing clothes into wardrobes.

@speakout very probably!
My mum is worse, she irons pants and sheets too.
Ds’ bedlinen is probably the biggest issue.

When the laundry is done out of the dryer fold it into piles - one for each person. Then whoever has the biggest pile, put that away into drawers (or your DH/ older kids do that themselves).
If you use the quick wash function, you may well be able to get a load through the wash and into the dryer before you leave in the morning.

I iron nothing. I don't even own an iron- a pointless activity.

I struggle with laundry too, but I think its down to the fact that I have ADHD.
For socks, I got a large delicates net bag for myself and used a marker to draw a line about a third of the way to the top of it. I did the same for my DD and we hang them on our washing baskets.

We put all our dirty socks into them and when they fill to the line, it's time to put socks on to wash, usually with something else so that its not ALL socks (as the pairing gets overwhelming then) and they usually wash directly in the bag so no socks get lost in the drum. Also means my socks and DD's socks are separated so I dont wonder which are mine and which are hers when I'm pairing them up.

I also have a setting for a 60 minute wash which I can set the temperature for and I use this most of the time. It means I can fit more loads into a day if I feel the need. If it's heavily soiled clothes, obviously it goes on a proper load setting instead.

Maybe sone of this could work for you too?

I don't iron anything either! I bought a new top 6 months ago and realised I couldn't wear it as it needed ironing and I didn't own an iron or ironing board! I bought a new iron and ironing board still haven't used them or worn the top!
If the weather is ok clothes get pegged out and get put in the dryer to finish off which takes the creases out. Or they get hung indoors on hangers and then put in the dryer to finish off. Sometimes they don't need to go in the dryer. Gone are the days before I had children when I ironed most things.

Plenty of people with autism/ADHD have problems with executive functioning and hence tasks like laundry. Just because something is not hard for you, doesn't mean it isn't for others.

I think I have a good system (also somewhat lazy).

DH and I share a laundry basket, everything goes in there except for a few of my things I like to do on a cool wash and hang to dry.

DC have a laundry basket each in their closets.

I try to do laundry over the weekend. Saturday kids clothes, Sunday our clothes

DC1 I put her wash on in the morning, then it goes in the dryer (all of it)

DC2 I ask her to bring laundry basket down and put it on

When the first load is dry, take it up to DC1's room get them to come up and help me fold and put away (takes like 5-10 mins).

When the second load is dry I leave it all in DC2 room and ask her to put it away (which happens at some point).

Repeat for our clothes the next day.

Towels, sheets get done during the week.

I only iron the odd special thing.

Separate laundry baskets means easier to put away after being in dryer. After being washed and dried everything goes up to bedrooms so no piles of washing hanging around.

Each step only takes minutes of my day, you mainly need to remember to move the clothes from washer to dryer and from dryer to rooms.

I’m looking at buying a clothes steamer. You hang your clothes up and then move a steamer over them. Many years ago, when I worked in a retail shop boxed clothing deliveries would means clothes arrived crushed and had to be pressed before display. It was very effective. Only thing is I’m a bit more clumsy now and I worry about giving myself a steam burn - if that’s even possible. Anyone else had experience with a household clothes steamer.

@MonsteraMother Can I also just suggest….laundry bags for socks! One per person if necessary.

Straight into wash, into dryer and then open and tip into sock drawer.

Then you don’t have to sort and pair! Pair on the go or get each person to pair their own. No little socks flying around washer or tumbler. You could even throw your pants in too if you use bigger bags. Cheap off Amazon.

I don't buy clothes that wrinkle- so linen and silk are out.
When I purchase something I mentally check how the fabric will look after wash & dry.
Life is too short to iron.

Don't beat yourself up about it!! Working 7-7 sounds like a killer. Personally, I would definitely have a system and stick to it. For example if you don't work weekends (I don't) then do 1 wash on a Wed.night, 1 wash on a Fri.night and 1 on a Sat.night, hang the washing out to dry (either indoors or outdoors) the morning after. That way, most stuff is dry by Monday.
I don't have a tumble dryer but I also don't iron - I find that hanging washing up to dry and folding it properly afterwards means no ironing required (some things I put on hangers to dry). I know this would be different if there were school shirts or work shirts which needed ironing...luckily we don't have them for the time being (kids still at primary so in polo shirts; husband and I don't wear the kind of shirts that need ironing).
Once each load is dry and folded, who cares if it stays in piles on the spare bed for days?? At least people can go find their own stuff if they need it. Personally I get the kids to take their own piles and put them away in the right places a couple of times a week. It doesn't take long if there are 3 or 4 people putting it away rather than one. Good luck and don't worry - nobody is perfect xxx

Anything out of place is a bugbear for me. Clothes belong on me or in the wardrobe/drawers. But I digress.

Do it daily, don't let it pile up; no matter how busy or crappy your day is do the laundry.

I like to think about Future Me. Present me is tired after work and can't be arsed washing her outfit and she wants a shower, nightcap with movie/tv episodes/book. Present me does laundry so Future me isn't faced with getting ready for work plus laundry the next day.

I find housework can get really overwhelming sometimes, as it’s never ‘done’ for long. The way I tackle the washing is I dedicate 1 day to get it all washed, dried and at least delivered to the relevant room it belongs in 😆 I also try and pull out the important clothes for the first wash, ie work and school uniforms etc.

Once you get into the swing of getting it all done on a specific day/time, it will become a habit and not such a daunting thing. But you’ve got to take that first step and start tackling it! Good luck!

The first thing you need to do is get on top of clean washing that's built up - sacrifice a weekend evening bring it all into the living room and do it whilst watching rubbish TV. Fold everything put into each person's separate pile and take up to the bedrooms.

I do a small wash every day, dry it and fold when I have chance. It still builds up because our evenings are full on and exhausting.

I have a steamer , it’s a game changer. I hate ironing and have a few things that are hard to iron right - this flies through them. Also my teenage son can do his own clothes with it

I have read this thread with interest.

I have decided not to wash anything else until the huge mountain of clean stuff has been put away, and am working my way through it steadily.

I have also ordered some sock thingies to keep our socks in pairs 🤞

Thanks for the thread, op. Hope things work out better for you and your laundry nemesis!

Make a big heave to wash or throw away and then employ local wash and ironing service.

Can't believe I keep being drawn back to this thread.

OP @MonsteraMother absolutely outsource

Our bed linen is collected at 7am on Mondays (we leave it in the porch the night before) and returned early afternoon.

If you asked the laundry service for one bag for each of you, they could work as laundry bins to be sent out. No sorted required, just the clean clothes out away in that persons room.

Lots of the things that overwhelm us have a simple solution if some money can be thrown at the problem for at least a short while. Good luck.